To not understand how this can happen?

This reminds me of the time I discovered that my grandmother's old house had been demolished.

I know exactly what you mean OP

I go to visit my dad’s brother and his wife. They’re in the late 80s now. They always spent Christmas with us in the 70s. The excitement when they arrived! My aunt’s voice still reminds me of those magical times x

Yes sentiments expressed in this thread really resonate with me.

someone said earlier that they feel a disconnect with their childhood. Yes agree! Mine seems almost dreamlike…. And, did it really happen?!

agree also that this time of year makes us reminisce more and be far more introspective.

I hear you OP. I often (more so now I’m in my 60s) think of all the people we knew as kids and how they’re no longer here including both of my parents. They were living, loving people and now they’re gone. It’s so hard to explain

It scares me to think about who'll be next, and who'll be gone in another ten years. I would never have expected some of the deaths from the last decade.

I still feel shocked sometimes that my parents are dead, their stories are ended. Their deaths aren’t recent but they feel like yesterday in many ways and quite unbelievable. In fact a few weeks ago I woke up from a dream in which I’d been feeling guilty that I hadn’t visited my mum for ages, and the feelings were so real that I had to ask my husband if she was alive or dead.

i also feel shocked whenever I think of how old their friends are that I still see, because my parents obviously haven’t aged so my memories are sort of stuck- a bit like when you don’t see your friends’ kids for a couple of years and they grow up and change so much, the aging process after 70 seems to do similar to people in terms of changing.

@Milliemoons
I know it’s nowhere near as long but she was such a huge personality, it feels weird to think that the world kept spinning without her on it.

Perfectly put. Just how does the world keep spinning, especially without a wobble to let us know something major (to us) has happened

Edit - apologies, I meant to clear the quote before posting but I can't in edit.

I also often ponder on the fact that we only really own a home for a passage of time. We are just passing through and then it becomes someone else’s home. My house was built 200 years ago and I thinking the previous ‘owners’ that lived here and I look around and there’s no evidence of them ever being here but at one time they thought of this house as theirs.

Is life all about being rational and pragmatic for you? How sad. Just because you are not interested in or don't understand the issues and feelings that op is raising doesn't mean that the thread isn't important and interesting for others.

I often think, when I see people buzzing around, busily getting on with their lives, that in fifty years none of this will matter. We all go about like we’re important and have important things to do, causing ourselves stress and anguish in the process.

In fifty years, we and our busy, “important” lives won’t matter. We will die, and people who used to be important to us (and vice versa) won’t even know.

I totally understand how you’re feeling, OP, and I often wonder whether a good message for the younger generation would be: “Enjoy yourself, slow down, and don’t put massive importance onto people/places/careers, etc., as all too soon, none of that will matter.”

I hear you OP - know exactly what you mean.

I don't really go back these days, because I can totally relate. My mum also had another fall recently and is suddenly her age, when she always seemed younger. It's hard.

It’s a strange feeling isn’t it. When you remember someone from the last time you saw them and imagine them to still be living their everyday life only to find out they’ve died. My childrens head teacher was brilliant and I really liked her. She and her husband both retired just as my youngest left primary school and she talked about all their plans they had. Fast forward 8 years and both were dead from cancer. He died three years after retirement and she 7 years. All the while I thought they had been having a wonderful time together doing all the things she had mentioned but in fact they had both been plagued with illness and passed away. I still think about them now. I can remember being so shocked when I found out.

Evety generation sees their lives change and their friends die. It can be a horrible feeling to realise it, but it is also something pretty much all of us experience in some way or another.

I don't like going back to my hometown for this reason. Mid 40s.

Old schools demolished, shops for rent, pubs closed down, high street empty. Friends moved away.

Like a ghost town, full of memories with people who no longer exist. Only my parents getting older and less independent in the house we moved into when I was in primary.

I really have to psyche myself every time.

I recently found out that my closest school friend’s mum died during COVID. I know it’s nowhere near as long but she was such a huge personality, it feels weird to think that the world kept spinning without her on it.

Now that I have kids I often think back to the days when we’d all sit around my grandparents’ kitchen table - us kids, my parents and grandparents, gibber-gabbering, drinking coffee and juice, the place so loud you couldn’t hear yourself talk. Now both grandparents are dead and the house is long sold. The same spark can never be recaptured and I never knew in the moment that I’d look back on those moments and long for them.