Help me make over my weekends for 2026

Forgive me, but youre beginning to sound like you kind of enjoy being the martyr / the put upon mother who 'does it all'. Running the kids activity, cleaning before the cleaner arrives, being in tears over it etc etc.
If you want a more relaxed life then do it. The cleaner is there to clean. Its supposed to make your life easier, not harder. Relax your standards a bit - no need to have homebaked bread and cakes every week....maybe once a month as a treat is fabulous enough.

A Flylady type cleaning routine makes a massive difference. 10/15 mins morning and evening and a load of laundry an day and you don't really need to do a blitz clean at the weekend. An Eufy robovac is a life changer!

Do you need to stay for the sports? I often used the time to go for a run.

Ours are a little less stressful but feel similar here's what I do (may help, may not hah) Also work FT out of the home! 2 kids aged 9 and 5 and no family support.

Once a Month each DH and I get together with friends, separately but this could be with the smalls in the park, or a girls night out or just a lunch and coffee somewhere. can be form 1 hour - to a whole evening but it is prioritised for each of us.

We do all our own cleaning but bathrooms are done midweek (2 bathrooms, 1 has an evening each) and vacuuming is also only done upstairs once a week on another weeknight (usually while 5 is in the bath) DH works from home and vacuums downstairs daily (thanks to having 2 cats) Also do a 'closing shift' on the kitchen and lounge every night.

Ours does Saturday morning training and Sunday morning swim lessons - in the same places thankfully so we actually get a nice coffee and cake together while the training happens and take turns to do the swim lesson duty to give the other a lie in.

We do a wash load a day, every day, sometimes 2 (washer on am, go to work, come home hang out and then another load in if needed) this seems to ease up on the backlog through the weekend. Kids are responsible for putting away after it's folded and on their beds (even the 5 year old) and if it's not in a basket it doesn't get washed.

Ours bicker too - I've learnt that as long as its not harming them to leave them to it.

I was doing a big Lidl shop on a weekend, but I now do this one a Thursday night after work, its open until 10 round here and only a 10 min drive away so DH will do bedtime and I'll go shopping.

I bake a cake and granola bars every Sunday afternoon, then also cookies or gingerbread men get 5 involved and he now knows how to make most wit barely takes any time at all.

My Dh plays golf, he will often try to do this on a Friday afternoon rather than a weekend day, but if it falls that way I get the kids out for a family swim or something in the garden - outside for the win!

We too have an open plan downstairs and it's a bloody nightmare!

so yeah, not much different to yours - and we don't spend much alone time together but hoping it'll pass and we will miss these days when they're gone!

Oh and get a washer drier. Life changing.

I can’t really understand all the clothes washing. Does nothing get worn twice ever? I have 4 kids and they do a lot of sport but we still only do a few washes a week.

We don’t do much cleaning either. We clean things that are dirty. We don’t clean for the sake of it. That’s a waste of time and can lead to resentment.

I do a parkrun every week. The younger kids hang out with whichever of the older kids isn’t running (this happens a lot as usually the older kids have matches they are resting up for).

We sign kids up for sports only after having fully considered the impact those sports will have on the rest of the family, in terms of being able to go away for the weekend and whether training / matched are likely to fit in with everyone else’s lives.

I do a hobby at least once a week, purely to ensure I’m chatting to people outwith my work or family. My husband has something he does once a week too. It’s really important to ensure you don’t end up being ‘just parents’. One day your kids will leave home and you still need to have a live to lead then.

I would recommend a lot more delegation

If you can afford a weekly cleaner then get one
Buy a drier. As kids get older then they do their own washing, so does husband.
Make cooking easier through more make ahead recipes if you want to do it, get a takeaway. Nobody will die through upf, buy the bread.
Get the shopping delivered online
Disappear off for a few hours to yourself

Some quick ideas that sprang to mind when I read your post that would make a big difference...

Step back from leading the activity. Youve done your bit, perhaps its time for another mum to step up so you can step back and take a breath. Also, doing an activity with a child while lovely, is not really YOU time. Find something else you can do ALL ON YOUR OWN. Even if thats a weekly cup of tea / glass of champagne and cake at a coffee shop, or trip to the cinema orwhatever but do it on your own. You sound like youre racing towards burnout and you need to step away and just centre yourself again. Also, like someone upstream said already, get the kids contributing to chores. There are lots of small things that they can do that will make a difference...folding laundry, sweeping floors, making beds, tidying rooms etc etc.

Aside from that I must confess that I love the sound of your busy, crazy life - it sounds like a lot of fun and filled with noise and love.... sometimes we overlook that when we're in the thick of it but it sounds like theres a lot there xx

What would you like your weekends to look like? Let’s start there.

Wash everyday and use crease release. Dry school trousers on radiators - not perfect but good enough. Frees up weekend.

Online food shop, Asda/Tesco. Buy a delivery pass and get more than one shop per week.

Slow Cooker alternative on a Saturday.

Bleach in bathrooms every night before bed.

The sports are a nightmare and seem hellish in the cold wet weather. I sit in the car now whilst they’re at training and do things like the online shop. Same for games - I wait for the game to start before I get out.

I have sympathy, we’re still v much in the trenches too.

Sympathy! Your weekends sound like mine used to when my kids were all at home. It is hard. You are doing a lot to give your kids a good and healthy life. What I wish I'd done, was getting them more involved in doing things around the house. Mine did cook the evening meal on a sort of rota. Maybe this would be a good skill for you to encourage in yours. Best of luck.