£100 Christmas budget per teen, I feel awful

As others have said, keep looking on marketplace, eBay and gumtree for the record player and keyboard. Also if you have a second hand instrument shop anywhere in driving distance, that could be good. Hopefully something comes up. Then you could get the books and beauty products. I think the camera and trainers might have to wait till their birthdays? They’re old enough to understand.

I agree OP - that’s a tough budget.

BUT what I would be saying is girls unfortunately your dad can’t contribute to Xmas this year so the budget is £100.

Thats going to be quite painful for them but he sounds like he’s already a very limited father and they are going to learn (in a hard way) that mum cares and he doesn’t.

People are talking nonsense. It is expensive to have children and all their wants and desires. And they only get it twice a year.
Most people I know buy stuff all year round. So your kids are really very understanding and sound very grateful as well.

Do not put it on credit! My advice. It’s a slippery slope. They’re old enough to understand and IMO should be told it’s their Dad who ‘can’t afford it’ as I think you should get the credit for budgeting hard for them. I’d be honest and say Santa has had to cut back and would they do another list with the new budget. The DC who wants the piano could have the money towards one and contribute the rest herself, for example, when she can. It’s not ideal but you’re setting a wonderful example of working hard budgeting to provide for them and they should all grow up with a decent work ethic if there are things they want but can’t afford?

They have two parents, 1 has failed them and 1 is showing up and being the best parent they can have. It’s a really disappointing thing to happen BUT they are old enough, and sound like lovely girls so they will understandably be upset but they will accept it. Tell them the truth, that their dad let them down. They are old enough to know what happened. What a shit person. sorry op.

Honestly @ClypoClimb I think this is very much an example of comparison being the thief of joy.

My teen kids have £100 each including all relatives, no birthday presents or random gifts. They are very happy with what they receive.
As a child my Mum got us second hand things to give us a bigger pile. When I look back I felt it was too much.

I never get this, I have found the teenage years got a LOT cheaper really as did many friends. Its damn near impossible to spend money on my teen as he has what he needs and only every uses the same handful of things really no matter how much new stuff we buy.

I found once they have a computer and/or 'games console' theres not really a huge amount they seem to want. Thread the other day was saying how common it is to give money to teens/adults instead of buying because they just don't need anything.

Hi OP, it’s so hard, as parents there is real pressure to put on a happy Christmas for DC. Particularly hard when you have no support and money tight.

I would honestly do this in your shoes -

With your ages of teenage DC I’d have an upfront chat with them. Talk with them and be open about the Christmas budget. How you frame this will make a world of difference. Don’t go in with droopy head all sad and apologetic wringing your hands - be positive! ‘Hey! We have £100 this year for you and DSib and I’d love to chat with you now about what you’d like most on Christmas Day. Would you like one big thing (like the piano/ keyboard) from that £100 or a couple/ few smaller things?’

Be positive and if they have their heart set on other things then you can make a plan for how they can be budgeted for/ saved for after Christmas. Focus on the brilliant thing / things they can choose from their £100. There is such pressure to have everything on the day but it can still be special on a budget and a family fun day with games, food and favourite Christmas film etc.

I would speak to them individually to reduce the moan factor and hopefully engage them personally about what they want to prioritise for their gift/s.

Don't get into debt. Talk to your teens and ask them to prioritise what they want most.

If it's any consolation, I'm spending less than £100 on my 18-year old. I've recently paid for driving lessons and an expensive school trip, so it's pretty much token stuff so she has something to open on Christmas day.

I usually have a budget of £120 per child but have spent all of £85 on my 17 year old this year.

He honestly just doesn't 'want' or 'need' anything and is hard to buy for. Hes getting aftershave, bedding, a new bag, a book, a few of games etc... plus a stocking with some sweets, bottle opener, keyring, pen and novelty socks etc...

It seems really boring and like not much really but hes a teen now so I think thats pretty common (teens don't expect huge piles of big presents) and if I buy more for the sake of it it will end up sat unused so £100 isn't a 'bad' budget, its more than I spent.

I think you just have to tell them the truth - you thought you would have more money but their dad has let you down.

Tell them, they aren't babies they will know things are tight

Look for freebies - our local town has a charity book shop where you can get 3 free books everytime you vist - pay nothing, might be something similar near you.

Shop on vinted/fb market place - you can get very good things for not much.

Ask in your local buy nothing group for "stocking stuffers" like scrunchies or lip balm

I actually think £100 per kid is a pretty healthy budget, you could always skim from the food shop if you want to stretch it - e.g don't buy coffee or tea bags this week and you should be able to get a selection box for them each.

Please don't feel awful. I completely understand why you are feeling this way. Sadly £100 doesn't go far does it. Look at Very, Frasers and Klarna for interest free Buy Now Pay Later options to see you through. Then maybe try saving monthly for next Christmas. It's rubbish your ex has let you and your girls down. Best wishes, you've got this!

Jesus! £100 is more than enough! I think I am spending £40 on each of my kids... £20 on DP so TOTAL presents £100.

You might want to explain to your kids that things don't actually make people happy.

gear4music do great deals on pianos, they all sell almost brand new and may do finance.

Best of luck op, I'm sinking myself.

Would your ex agree to give you the money in instalments instead? You can then put the presents on a credit card and pay it off over a couple of months?

Hundred quid is fine for xmas - stop stressing.

This is a really good idea.

Reducing the budget so late in the day when they knew about the budget is awful. I think I’d tell them the truth now and either they just get tone good gift or you see what you can get second hand first? And give them some options.

It’s not your fault.

I bought a very good brand keyboard second hand for £40 worth £130 from ebay. Camera, record player and skateboard can be bought second hand too. Also, they don’t need to get everything they have asked for

I understand exactly what you mean OP and also, the people saying "oh £100 is loads!" are probably buying for much younger children. Once they get into teens, absolutely NOTHING is cheap. So whereas with a child you can get them lots of "little" things to make it look like more, it's not the same with teenagers. Last year DSD wanted AirPods and we had to explain that they were around £200 so she couldn't really have anything else. She was more than happy with them but you feel awful handing over this tiny little box and nothing else 😂

Their Dad has let them down- NOT you

Let us help.
I've just ordered my son some brand new Nike trainers from vinted. Perfect condition-£32 Inc postage.
I love searching for things online.
Post a list of the sort of things they would like and let us try and find bargains for you.
The piano might be a tricky one but if you're happy to pay over a few months via Klarna that might help

Why does their dad think getting them anything for Christmas is optional? It's one thing if he can't stretch to £200 but this reads that he doesn't plan on getting them anything at all? That said you can only do what you can, I'm sure your girls would rather you enjoy Christmas with them than stretching yourself too far. Have a look on places like vinted there's loads of bargains on there, um sure uou wokld find what they are asking for on there cheap. But at their age 1 bigger present each is absolutely fine.

I agree with some PPs about a few things.

Try to get things second hand where you can.
Be honest with your DDs - they are not young teens so should have some awareness of life and finances to some appropriate degree.
Could you get them a few of the lower cost things and then give them both £50 towards the larger items they have asked for?
Perhaps come up with a savings plan for them and for you to add to each month to their pots until there is enough money to buy what they want.
I agree it's really hard as there is no one else to buy for them but it is sadly the reality for you and many others this year and every year I would imagine.
I hope you find a solution that you are happy with.