£100 Christmas budget per teen, I feel awful

I think £100 is enough to spend on presents. I’m not a parent but my experience growing up and with nephews I’m shocked to hear how much you spend on the kids. Hopefully they’d will understand that you can’t afford more and can enjoy Christmas together with food, games and spending time together.

£100 is really not enough especially with teens, Christmas is about giving them what they truly want and sometimes the pair of trainers they want are £100 alone. Everything is expensive now. I really feel for you OP, can you not speak to their dad? Tell him the reality that the girls aren’t going to get much at all it’s not on he has bailed like this. Prick. Do as much second hand sourcing as you can Vinted etc, get on Temu or SHEIN for stocking fillers. I know this won’t be popular advice but I’d be looking at getting a 0% credit card if possible for the bigger items.

Dd3 (17) has a 7 year old phone, a 10 year old kindle and she knows money is tight. We only have my parents to buy presents and obviously her 3 siblings. I'm sure she will be ecstatic about the potato peeler ds has bought her for university next year! We do have an electric piano as during covid ds and her could not use the school pianos. I borrowed the money from dd2 and paid her back as and when. It was necessary though as both were doing high grades.

Its easy for parents who have lots of who buy presents or who very well off. For everyone else its tough. Can you speak to dad and tell him what the impact is of this? If not be honest with your daughters.

If they're old enough to ask for these items they're old enough to 7nderst they're expensive. Why not give them the new budget and ask them to make a new list.

My children are all adults but the most expensive things they've asked for are a CD boxed set and a switch game, not the same child.

look on gumtree and eBay for a keyboard, there's always loads going second hand.
same with the vinyl and a polaroid. secondhand.

do you drive as this will give you more options for pick up. or have anyone who can help with pick up.

tell them the other stuff will have to wait. its okay to delay gratification and for them to understand that money is sometimes sparse.

dont factor in the dad when you’re single parenting.

if you don’t have money you’ll have to be honest. 100 isn’t too bad. Maybe just tell them that’s what you’ve got for them. Then next year build up stash of gifts or savings as you go so it’s not a December problem

Why do the kids need to get so many presents- a camera and a record player and a piano and so and so …. Isnt that contributing to them growing to be materialistic. The goal of Xmas is to meet family members, exchange a few gifts of appreciation- not a time to spoil kids so then they expect more and more presents each year (not to mention there are also birthdays).

I would recommend 1 nice valuable gift per kid, so they can value that and appreciate it. The more you give and they have the more they loose appreciation.

best of luck, I wish you well

They are old enough to understand it. I will tell them and let them choose what is their priority with the 100 pounds allowance.

I would have an honest conversation with them. Tell them the budget is lower than you'd wanted. Ask them to prioritize what they'd like, or that you will choose them one thing from the list.
100 doesn't go super far with teens, as I know too well!

My budget for dd3 who is 17 is about £40 and she is 18 a couple of days after Christmas and I'm hoping to scrape up about the same for that. Dd1 and dd2 are much older and I'm budgeting £20 each and ds (22) will be about the £40 mark. To me Christmas is more about the family getting together than presents.

If he could contribute £50 each at least you could get a few extra things. To go from a very generous £200 each to nothing is just not fair. Though, I think you should get the piano if you can find one in budget, even if it means no little extras to open.

@ClypoClimb I have a brand new Polaroid camera in box etc. you’d be welcome to it. Will pop you a dm ☺️

I bought my daughters from a music shop with a 0% payment plan. Maybe see if that is an option.

OP, I think you’re right, in your situation this is a very tight budget to work with as it is the only chance you have to go beyond the essentials.

I do think your first step is to go back to your ex. Tell him this isn’t good enough with 2 weeks to go, what can he afford? Or can he send it in January? He sounds useless but it’s worth a try. If he does agree to January, don’t spend it until you see it, explain to your children you will buy things when he helps.

For now I think you have to have a conversation with them about what is their priority for a £100 budget.

And whatever you do, don’t get into debt over it. This isn’t your fault and your children need to understand that.

And FB marketplace, gumtree, and any other 2nd hand or giveaway site. People often have no further use for such things and would be pleased to find them a good home.

They’re not. Those saying they do are lying. A pair of fashionable trainers alone are £100. Phone is several. Make up you can do on a budget & perfume there are good dupes. A £100 would be sufficient if all they wanted was makeup & dupe perfume. If they want trainers then the best you could do with what’s in fashion would be addidas sambas for £90. Don’t let people get you down. You are not in the wrong to feel miffed that the Christmas you was hoping to provide has been taken away, my 15yo son is into designer clothes & despite not getting them a decent Nike one is still at least £70. Now there are cheaper hoodies around but if I got him one from primark he just would never wear I’m assuming your daughter would be the same with her trainers

I agree with you OP, I don’t think there are many people in your exact position where as you say this £100 is ultimately their only “opportunity” to have something non-essential until their birthday and where there is absolutely nobody else buying for them, it does make it trickier.

Second hand can be great for lots of things so it’s definitely worth a look but I appreciate even second hand doesn’t = free.

I hope you can convince their dad to send at least some money to help pay for their Christmas.

I'm sorry OP? It is hard when there are no gifts from wider family or friends.
I hope you manage to convince the dad to contribute a little at least.

Oh if you can't afford the polaroid now - don't. You won't be able to afford the film down the line and the camera will be pointless.

You're not being unreasonable yo be annoyed at a promise made and not honoured.

But I wonder what you would have budgeted had no such promise been made in the first place.

I feel that £100 is fine for those ages. It may not be what some spend but its also more than many can afford.

Talk to your DC. Explain that only Mum is getting them presents this year and prioritise.

Do not buy them presents on any kind of pay later platform or CC.

Teaching your children that getting into debt for trivial reasons (and let's face it presents are trivial by comparison) is foolish would be a great lesson for them to learn.

One day they may remember that as the best present they ever got from a loving mum.

There are record players on vinted now for £20 polaroid and instax cameras on from £15
There are keyboards too but I don't know what specs you need

I do think a lot of it is "keeping up with the Jones'" - if we all fuck that idea off we won't have to compete with each other!

@ClypoClimb "I’m genuinely curious how are all these teen parents covering phones/make-up/perfumes/musical instruments/sports equipment/other hobby equipment on £100 a year?"

Buying second hand and cheaply, and saying no

right now on vinted a pair of Adidas Sambas new with box are £35, in my area there is a guitar on FB marketplace for £30, makeup for teens I would stick to affordable brands like revolution and affordable body sprays not the bougie stuff. Add in some chocolate, fuzzy socks and some hair accessories or a fun mug and that is a decent Christmas in my books!