£100 Christmas budget per teen, I feel awful

If either wants skincare/bath products I’ve got some discount codes for bubblet where you get £10 off and just pay postage. If you inbox me I’ll send them over x

I’d try Facebook for the keyboard. You can usually find one.

They're old enough to understand surely that father has let them down, not you?

I'd keep searching for 2nd hand where you can, but they should be able to understand your situation and be mature enough to deal with it.

It doesn't hurt anyone to not have exactly what they want when they want it - it can be a valuable life lesson for future resilience.

The valuable things are time with them, love and support, not money or things.

Why has the dad gone from £200 per child to nothing? Can he not do less but at least something? Does he pay child support?

I would highlight to dear daddy that his name will not be going on any of the presents so if he wants to have a relationship with his kids he should get them an item from the christmas list.

Regardless of what the OP’s ex has done, £100 is still a large amount to spend on each child for Christmas! It’s far more than many people would spend.

Does he not pay maintenance?

Why can their dad now not give anything? That's not ok, why does he get to opt out of it all? I would push him for something towards their presents, even if it's for the extra bits, like the books and beauty stuff.
I would tell your dd that you're looking out for a second hand one but nothing has come up yet and so it will be later next year when you get it. I expect you can get a better one if you buy second hand - this is usually worth it for musicial instruments. She is old enough to understand.

Explain to them how tight finances are. They are old enough to understand even if they won't be happy about it. £100 is a nice amount even if it won't buy them what they currently want. Look for second hand items. There are lots of places to check as people have already mentioned.

There is nothing wrong with sharing a room, plenty of children share bedrooms.

I disagree with people suggesting borrowing money off others or using credit cards. Try to keep within your means.

Debts can build up and out of control very quickly so it's best to avoid that if you can.

Unfortunately I think the only thing you can do is tell them the truth yes their dad might be a twat but you can't get blood out of a stone ,if £100 each is what you can afford its what you can afford ,you are doing the best you can.

£100 per child is honestly fine! Honestly, Christmas spending and materialistic expectations have got waaaay out of hand.

I remember a Christmas when my parents were utterly skint and they sat us down in advance and explained the situation. I don’t think we even had £100 between us three siblings. It was probably the nicest Christmas we’d ever had and I still remember it over 40 years later.

I had a tiny pair of silver earrings I still wear now, a makeup bag my mum made with a couple of cheap bits of makeup, a hand knitted scarf, gloves and hat plus some chocolate, bubble bath and a book.

It didn’t matter that we didn’t have much money, we were together as a family and spent the day watching films, playing board games, walking the dog and eating and drinking. I was 17, my older sibling 18 and the youngest one 12.

£100 is not a tiny budget. Talk to your children, explain that there’s a limit, that you can’t afford more (tell them their dad has said he can’t contribute) They may be disappointed but they will understand.

What's wrong with £100 each?! Seems a nice amount to me.

I'm confused about their dad - do you normally just pool your money and buy the gifts together even though you are separated?

I think you have to just be honest with them and say he's unable to contribute this year, so unfortunately there aren't so many presents.

Yes my DF helps manage their village community fund and it provides a Christmas dinner for some of the elderly and alone (they have it in the village hall) and some help towards electricity and gas costs for some families. I believe they also apply to a bigger fund somewhere for presents for some of the families but that's onluy every now and then if a family is really struggling and they wouldn't do it for a family with £100 to spend per child.

Can you not save up a little each month to get them bits of clothes between now and August? Maybe a job move is in order?

I would definitely tell them in advance and ask them to prioritise their lists. £100 is still a lovely Christmas but if they usually get a bit more it would help to prepare them.

Tell them that the budget is £100.00 and they need to decide which items in their list they want the most and they won’t be getting everything they’ve asked for. Be honest and say there will be less money than you thought because their Dad is no longer contributing.

£100.00 is more than many children will be getting spent on them and they need to learn that they cannot have everything they want.

@Iheartmysmart im sorry really I am. I’m actually pretty good at reading but sat here with ice on one eye and distracting myself from the pain of being whacked in the eye by the cupboard, looking at mumsnet and not doing too well with one functioning eyeball, obviously

christmas puts a lot of pressure on us to give our kids the perfect time.. with the perfect gifts

Surely those funds should be for families with no income for Christmas presents not a family with an already generous amount to spend.