£100 Christmas budget per teen, I feel awful

Surely dad can contribute SOMETHING?! At least 1-2 presents per child? What a loser!
he remembers now that it’s Christmas and he has no money? Get him to send you money.

I have sent you a Pm

By 15 ans 17 you can speak to your children and make them aware of the situation, there's really no need to feel bad, it isn't like you have a 6 year old asking santa for something specific you can't afford. You have 2 young adults who should understand by now you are a struggling single parent. They aren't going to get £300 worth of stuff, it isnt the end of the world.

I’d use clearpay for the record player, beauty bits and/or trainers if I really had to. This is Mumsnet though where anyone would be lucky to get a walnut and a jigsaw.

You don't have to buy everything on the list. DD gave us a list of about 5/6 items. She is getting 2 of them because that's what we budgeted for.

Explain it, get something with half the money, and the suggest saving the rest to look for a second hand keyboard - we got ours for about 50EUR from a parent at my kids school, it would be worth putting feelers out on facebook/parents groups - people often have stuff like that this that they've just not thought of selling yet.

£100 really is fine - I've rarely spent more than that each on my two, and they're both fine with it - it's a 50 quid main prezzie of some sort, then 50 EUR of smaller bits/bobs, plenty to open.

Is Klarna an option for the piano? I tend to use that as its such a short term debt.

£100 per child is fine. That's what i do and think that's fine.

Try world of books for good quality 2nd hand books they also have a deal on at the moment.
You haven't done anything thing wrong, just be honest with them and enjoy christmas together doing fun things like card games walks etc.
Similar happened to me when my children were younger, and we have some great memories of those make do christmases

Please don't go into debt for Christmas. Of course you want to give your children gifts they want but putting them on a credit card Klarna is not the answer and not the way to start the new year.

Is their Dad one of those guys who think teenagers survive on air and can wear knitted grass clothes. Does he think you are being frivolous with his money - squandering it on heating bills and nail salons? Could you contact him again and ask him to buy at one item for each child say the keyboard (link the Amazon page) and the vinyl record player. He can pay for them, put them on a credit card, Klarna - not you.

I would talk to them beforehand, so there is no drama on Christmas morning.

OP I am sad for you, I would be gutted with this too. What a shit father and man he is to go back on his word and let you and his own children down like that.

As they are not young children I agree with talking to them and being honest about the budget and explaining to them that their dad is not contributing anything this year. They are surely old enough to accept that their dad isn't involved in their lives and surely know you cannot afford much. I agree with suggestions of looking for the items second hand or getting them to choose what their main choice would be from their list.

Their Father is unfair a selfish shit.
I am sure they'll understand that you well let down.

They must know money is very tight so get pj's from primark and smellies etc from home bargains or even temu if you get ordering now for delivery before Christmas, then plan for next year by putting money aside every month.

Contact their Dads parents/ your ex in laws and tell them how shitty he’s been and do they want to give their granddaughters anything?

I think you need to tell your children the situation. Say there is £100 each and how would they like it spent. I agree with talking to their Dad and asking if he can give anything or is he sorting out his own presents. I dont think you should be putting stuff on credit cards.

OP, your dd could get an electric with full weighted keys on marketplace for 80 quid, they sell regularly.
But other than that their lists seem quite excessive.
£100 per teen seems very adequate from parents. Will they get any other small gifts from relatives?
They should only really expect 1 gift from you. So trainers or a vinyl recorder or a Polaroid camera. Definitely not all of those!

We can only spend 30 pounds per child this year and it's fine as they are young but honestly please don't be guilted into thinking £100 is inadequate. Only 1 gift from you pe4 child is needed.

Mine teens have a £100 max budget for Christmas. You need to set their expectations

Thats my budget too x

I do understand that and we are spending about £100 on our daughter but it is different as she has uncles, aunts and grand parents getting her presents too. For people without family support christmas is particularly hard!

There is also a difference between telling a teenager they can get up to £300 worth of stuff and cutting it to £100 right before xmas. I think as well knowing your dad chose to give you nothing would sting more than any money or present (my dad tended to forget birthdays and it’s only as an adult I’ve become okay with that). If the budget was always £100 that would be no problem.

I think they are both old enough to understand the situation so you can be honest. I also don't think you need to protect their dad, they're not little children who would be too young and impressionable.

I also think its an opportunity to talk to them about choices they make now that will impact their future lifestyle. They have expensive present lists and are not far off adulthood and providing for themselves. What are their education and career plans to give themselves a comfortable life?

It's not ideal but ou can do your best with what you have. And help prepare them to be financially independent and live a lifestyle they will enjoy in future

Its an ok budget, just explain to them they need to pick what they really want.

I voted YABU but only because your question was AIBU to feel like this, and yes, I think you are. You haven't let them down, their dad has. I don't have teens but it seems their lists are quite heavy - are they perhaps used to having dad contribute every year so they know they can ask for a bit more? Honestly at their ages I would explain to them in advance that dad is no longer contributing so their lists will need prioritising and simplifying. This is not your fault and they will have an amazing Christmas by how you make them feel, not how many presents they have to unwrap and how much they cost (cliche I know, but it's true!). I barely remember presents I got but I do remember feeling cosy and Christmassy, that's the important part.

Awesome books or world of books are great for secondhand books in really good condition. Make sure you have a good look online for the cheapest place for trainers, there's lots of promo codes if you post which ones you're looking for someone might be able to help.
Boots are doing 3 for 2 on some beauty stuff.
You won't be able to get everything but im sure if you explained their dad let them down they will be grateful. When my dd did her list she said she wasn't expecting all of it so im sure they won't mind if if a few bits aren't bought.

Hi OP, I don’t know if this is helpful but I got my daughter’s Yamaha digital keyboard on finance (keyboard, stand and pedals). Worked out at £60 a month and you’ll get a months grace. I know it’s not ideal but perhaps an option.