£100 Christmas budget per teen, I feel awful

I think you need to be honest - my budget is £100. Dad said he had a budget too but maybe isn’t able to contribute now. Please ask for the thing you want most from me and another gift from dad but bear in mind he may not be able to purchase it.

They’re old enough for you to be completely honest with them. Just say something like “money’s tight this year, let’s all have a think how we can make Christmas fun in other ways.” Maybe spend money doing something a bit different and special and just do little charity shop gifts so you all have something to unwrap.

You might find your teens care less about presents that you imagine.

This isn’t sensible advice. If OP could afford it she would have saved it already. Christmas isn’t a surprise to anyone. Nobody should be getting into debt to pay for Christmas.

I would just buy them some nice bits and bobs for £30 and give them £70 each to save and put towards these larger items. They can choose the trainers OR the camera, etc. If your eldest wants the piano that badly she can save her earnings and any other Christmas or birthday money she gets to put towards it.
They’re old enough to realise that you're on a tight budget and just don’t have hundreds to spare.

I just put presents on my credit card and worry about it after. Obviously I don’t go mad and pay it off asap and know I’ll stick to paying it off and not staying in debt.

You should talk to them and explain the situation so that they can decide what they want to do. We knew the Christmas present budget as teenagers, so we asked within that budget. The older one might prefer the cash towards the piano she wants seeing as she is earning some money. The younger one might desperately want the Polaroid but be less bothered about the trainers knowing there’s less in the pot than expected. Your kids might even find second-hand things to make it go further. Don’t go into any sort of debt though. It’s not setting a good example to them.

There are digi pianos on vinted too OP within your budget, I’ve been looking for my DD

I’d be honest. Tell them their dad isn’t contributing and give them £100 cash each in a stocking with cheap lovely bits to open.

They can decide what to prioritise and get it in the sales. It would be gutting if you got it just a bit wrong and you already feel bad.

Just adding to my other post, I don’t know what the right keyboard is but for example on Amazon they have ones that also do interest free for 5 months.
eg
savings -15% £127.48

RRP: £149.99 RRP: £149.99
Or £25.50 /month (5 months)

At those ages I’d just tell them the truth? I feel like £100 per child as a single parent is quite good, that’s normally what I do with DD, considering all the food etc also falls on me. She’s never complained or implied it’s not enough.

You could also tell them if they’d prefer to just do some minor bits and wait for the sales? They start right after.

Is there nothing he can give even if it was £100. I get how upset you are. No advice but to say your feelings are justifiable

I haven’t RTFT so apologies if someone has already suggested this.

have you tried asking on any of your local Facebook sites? It’s pretty common where I live (not the UK) around this time of year to see posts asking if anyone has X book or Y that they are looking to get rid of as you need some extra help with gifts, and also even asking if anyone is able to help out with gifts. I’m wondering if this is a ‘thing’ there or not? I always contribute if I have something someone is looking for, and I’ve gifted them items on their list (like an Amazon wish list) a fair few times also. As I said, it’s pretty common where I live but appreciate it might not be over there.

I would avoid debt and yes definitely talk to them about this including making sure that they know that the gifts are just from you.

However, I like a challenge so I would see if I could make a bit of extra cash, there are ideas on the money matters board on here, money saving expert or the fun money club. You could look at doing a bank switch or decluttering and selling items. Maybe get your dc to help?

Quite honestly, I’d say “shit, DD1 had a growth spurt and the £100 I was putting towards her keyboard had to go towards new uniform. DD’s £100 had to go on the boiler, as it broke again. Shit, they’re not going to get any Christmas presents at all now. What should we do?”

See what he replies

Have you looked on Amazon for a bits? For example
the instax mini 12 is £69 or advertised on mine as “Or £13.80 /month (5 months)
at no interest with Amazon“

Wonder if you can also get this sort of deal for the keyboard as well?

looks like it’s a good option.

EBay snd Back Market are your friend here
Give your daughter money eg £50 towards keyboard and suggest she ask relatives for money as well, buy off eBay ( collection) they will be cheap around now as people will be mainly buying new for Xmas and she can chose something suitable.
back market is very good for tech and recycling is cool and good for the planet.

buy useful stuff they will need and you get anyway such as socks, makeup and toiletries as stocking fillers
pyjamas, duvet covers and bedding, are good presents and functional

buy stuff from eBay as people will be decluttering and would be money you’d spend anyway. combine items if you can and ask for discounts including postage

Family tub of chocolates to share from food budget.
rest of £50
Music - subscriptions so pay as you go- spread over year. Cinema ticket vouchers plus one maybe on cheap night.
Day out / local theatre may do cheap tickets and no travel costs.

I'm so sorry you are upset like this. I would be too in your place. Your ex is a gobshite. Whenever I'm feeling poorly about my husband I come here and realize so many women just have it so much worse. $100 will be fine. Some years we all have more than others.

Are they used to having a lot more spent on them at Christmas? My kids get around £100 spent on them and are happy with that. I never realised that was considered a low amount. Obviously people spend a lot more but I don't feel my kids are unfortunate.
Do you think you're putting pressure on yourself because you can't afford to spend more? If it makes you feel any better, lot's of people choose to spend that amount regardless of being able to afford more. Spending money isn't the most important thing at Christmas, focus on quality family time 😊

First and foremost, your ex sounds like a waste of space for building up the kids' hopes (and yours) and then bailing completely. Even if his circumstances have changed, not even contributing a tenner to his own children's Christmas is pathetic. I'm so sorry.

Second, £100 per teen might not be enough for what your kids want but it's still more than a great many families can afford. You've not let them down at all. At their age, I'd be honest with them about the fact it's what you can afford and it's all come from your pocket; their dad decided not to contribute despite his initial promise.

As for the gifts you mention, Vinted and eBay may be good places to look for second hand items. If that's not possible then you could make a contribution (e.g. if the keyboard is £150, you give £100 to your daughter and then the remainder can come from her wages, or pocket money, or for her birthday).

Longer term, your children won't remember the gifts they got; they'll remember the time you spent together and the core memories created. You haven't let them down at all and you sound like you're doing your very best at a challenging time.

Omg what is wrong with £100 a child? Work harder to find something they will like that’s in your budget. £100 is plenty and much more than many kids.
Why dont you tell them the budget at their age?

Sorry their father is such a cunt.

Can you pick up anything second hand?

Do you honestly think Cash 4 Kids is for people with £200 to spend on Christmas presents?

Look on Vinted and please don't feel you have to overspend. Explain the budget to your girls and discuss what you will all be doing for each other.

Ahhhh I'm sorry OP but remember it really is the memories they'll treasure not the presents. As a piano player I'd advise getting a second hand keyboard that's a decent brand eg Roland or Yamaha rather than a cheap brand whatever your budget. I hope you can sort things xx

OP can you contact cash for kids or one of the Christmas charities or Foodbanks? They may be able to assist with the like of the beauty sets etc? You aren’t failing at all.xx