£100 Christmas budget per teen, I feel awful

Tell them the unvarnished truth. And try to figure out a way to get them what they need/want after Christmas, if possible.

You could look on freecycle OP, and even post wanted ads on there. Lots of nice and generous people do use that site so you may have some luck. Also, amazon sell used books from world of books and other sellers. ( apologies if you already know this). Also, if you have any larger charity shops near you such as the ones that have furniture, you may have some luck with a keyboard or record player...good luck!

For their dad to go from £200 to £0 is incredibly unreasonable. Can he really not contribute anything at all? Even £50 each would make a difference.

I know their is nothing inherently wrong with £100 each, I guess I just know many of their friends will be getting expensive clothes, bikes, tech etc. and feel sad I can’t do what I was hoping too.

We are quite well off, but I don’t think we ever spent much more than £100 on their presents. Instead we spent money on experiences throughout the year.

Most children get so much at Christmas and I wonder whether many of them are a little overwhelmed by it all.

Bake Christmas cookies with them, construct a gingerbread house, make some Christmas tree decorations, take them to a carol service…… things they’ll remember. I know mine do, even though they are now approaching middle age.

As everyone else has said, go second hand.

There is so much stuff out there that is new in box going for a song on eBay and vinted - the Oxfam website is also very good.

As a pianist, I am always getting offered free pianos, both acoustic and electric. People often buy them with the intention of learning and then they sit in a corner gathering dust. Often people will pay you to take them away as they take up so much space and they are desperate to get rid! Go on your local Freecycle or Facebook marketplace and ask if anyone has one going.

Their dad is absolutely useless (not for not being rich but for letting them down so suddenly). It's not your job to protect him, though - they're old enough that you can tell them the truth - and it's better to be honest with them than go into debt. They'll be more disappointed that their dad has let them down than about the material stuff, and sadly you can't change that.

Have you looked on places like CEX?

This is a digital piano with weighted keys:

https://uk.webuy.com/product-detail/?id=5055888805891B

I’d be honest. Ask them what thing they’d want the most and you’ll try to get it . You can get a lot second hand.

That’s a fortune! I’ve never spent £100 on my kids and they’re now 18 & 20! When they were little I’d buy 2nd hand eBay and when they started writing to Father Christmas I’d shop around. If they want something expensive I’ll contribute but no way £100! DS 18 this year wants marvel Lego sets and a poster. DS20 wants a new laptop and I’ll contribute. Got them little fun things to open like novelty socks and chocs. One year DS18 had a tv. He was around 15. It cost £60.

Get them the thing they want most and tell them you'll treat them to some trainers down the line when you can afford.

Doubt he will give a toss .

I contribute to a local Christmas fund. Whilst I sympathise with the OP, I'd be pissed off if I found it was being given to people who "only" have £100 per child!

I also really don't think getting into debt (credit card/klarna) over some Xmas presents is a good idea!

Go back to your existing and ask him to contribute something, if it's not the full amount it at least helps. Then be honest with your kids. They are old enough to understand money doesn't grow on trees and just need realistic expectations to avoid a let down on the day.

Don't feel bad about it, these things happen, it's not your fault, it's just the way it be.

Their Dad has really moved the goalposts here. I think better to explain the situation, get them lots of nice stocking things and save for the bigger items next year. Better to have more to open in my opinion than just one big thing.

My kids had several Christmas' with literally no gifts, we have Sally Ann food parcels too. They were amazing and managed fine, they speak fondly of those Christmas's now too.

Kids are not stupid. They know the challenges as they live them too.

Similar to another poster here but I wouldn't have ever asked my parents for a Polaroid camera, at any age 😳 my parents spent £50-60 at Christmas and I only really got one pressie and that was it. Usually makeup or something like that. £100 is a lot of money!!

At 17 and 15 they know the value of money and that Father Christmas doesn’t come to people their age. Just tell them the truth

Please don't feel bad. £100 per child is fine-they're old enough they can maybe discuss options with you for getting it cheaper, sometimes on local websites things will be on offer. Due to circumstances I won't go into here, at times my family was really hard up and couldn't give me anything-I had to give the money I earned from my pt job to my family, and I never felt anything but love and respect for what my parents could do for me. The fact mum chose to ice a cake the way I liked it, sticking up my favourite things on the wall, playing my favourite song-this is what kids remember.

Talk to them and ask them to prioritise, also keep an eye out on Vinted/ebay/fb marketplace.

I always made lists for Christmas/birthdays but they were always just ideas for people. I never expected to get everything on them? Part of the fun was opening gifts not knowing which I had been bought. I’m not sure where this expectation has come from but perhaps you could help reframe their wish lists as just ideas?

My sister and I got one main present at Christmas and a few bits under the tree. That was it. There was a stict limit and we had to choose it from one shop where our mother could pay off it. We were told the family financial situation in no uncertain terms and we just got on with it.

I would give them £100 each in cash and allow them to source their own gifts. They can look on Amazon, Ebay and Vinted. There is an old saying about cutting your coat according to your cloth. In later life they will appreciate the value of money.

I have only ever been able to afford to spend £50-60 per child. I'm just very up front about what the limit will be and they choose within that - or they can ask for the cash so they can supplement it with their own money etc. I've never felt they have missed out. In fact, I've been gobsmacked looking at threads like these at how much money/how many gifts people fret isn't enough. It's their dad's fault, not yours, that they aren't getting more. But they are still getting a good amount. I remember when my kids got second-hand bikes for Christmas and others in the same town had £1000 mountain bikes - turned out those parents were in massive debt - so never compare your situation with those who seem to have more - as there is often more to the story. Be proud you can give them what you can and that you are a stable, loving parent - because that is priceless.

I get you are disappointed but 100 is still a decent budget imo. It’s what I am spending on mine and I don’t feel bad at all.

Is there still such a thing as an Argos card where you pay off a thing gradually? Think they do keyboards etc. There's no interest when you pay within the agreed period - is that do-able? Debt isn't great when you're skint I know, but could you afford to pay back £50 a month?

This will trigger a message from MNHQ.

Not everyone is who they say are on the internet.

No offence to the OP, she has come for advice only.

Teens don't need to have £300 spent on them. I think it's this expectation that is the issue. I give mine £150 budget for main gift plus a little stocking and both teens are perfectly happy. Don't feel bad just tell them their Dad is no longer contributing so they only have £100 each. They can let you know their priorities.

OP try Vinted, even for the piano. There's all sorts of stuff on there even though people mostly associate it with clothes. Might be cutting it a bit fine but you never know.