£100 Christmas budget per teen, I feel awful

Am I really in the minority thinking £100 per child is more than enough?

Yep, it's definitely NOT a lot of money for a teenager's Christmas. Honestly, my heart goes out to OP.

We have never ever budgeted more than£100 for DCs Christmas presents- they are early 20s now.
Thats with 2 professional incomes coming in.

Really? In this day and age, for teenagers? Do you buy your children throughout the year? OP’s children don’t have any gifts whatsoever outside of Christmas. Telling someone to “work harder to find something in budget” is a fucking dick move.

Lot of people on here subscribing to the “well in my day we had an orange in the stocking and sang around the ol’ Joanna and that was alright by us!” mindset, completely forgetting how utterly miserable it can be to be poor (if they ever knew).

As for posters saying they’d not be happy if their charity was given to OP and her children, are we going back to Victorian standards of the deserving poor? Only ones we deem acceptable can access the stuff we donate.

Merry Christmas innit.

Can you ket him know thaf you will tell the children he is buying his own gifts for them this year?

From my personal experience growing up 100 was a lot of money I know times have changed but additionally your children are in their late teens. They maybe happier just to receive the money and they can then budget from that what they really want or save towards a larger item. They're not tiny kids who necessarily need gifts to open and fuss over.

Thats just my opinion besides Christmas is about family and there's no point going beyond your means if you do not have it. I grew up in single parent family and I just knew we didn't have it that way so id ask for one gift or give some idea what I wanted but was happy to get anything. I was the poorest out of my friendship group it made me resilient if anything

January is like 6 months in one so take it easy on yourself.

Ok. And you sound like someone who is very angry at the world and searching for someone to take it out on.

Agree, but she should definitely tell her children the truth about what he has done. In future, I would rely on him for nothing at all and involve him in nothing at all.

Oh no that’s such a let down! I would ask the kids to choose one thing on their list and try to get them that. £100 per child isn’t bad at all. Don’t beat yourself up, you’re doing your best.

£100 is plenty though.

It's like Afterpay I think.

Oh I do. I give many hours a week and it's highly skilled time due to my professional background. (And that's alongside living with chronic illness).

Its not boasting, it's just a fact. And it was designed to reassure op that £100 is a perfectly reasonable amount to spend on gifts. We don't need to fall for excessive consumption

And what a classless and unintelligent attempt at insulting me

Klarna ?

Her budget was $300 each, now it's $120 each, that's not loads of money. If her buget was stil $200 each I daresay she'd manage, based on the things she has listed.

She should tell them the unvarnished truth, see if she can get the presents later, and if not certainly not feel bad, but she sounds like a caring mother so that won't be so easy.

You're a real peach, you know that?

Its really hard, isn't it@ClypoClimb

Im in the same position with 2 girls, no maintenance or presents from their dad. Ive used credit cards or klarna in previous years, but then im just struggling with the bills and food for a few months after Christmas.

I have been so stressed about it, but i sat them down a few weeks ago and explained there will be a bit less in the stocking this Christmas as things are a bit tight. Honestly, I feel really bad, but I just haven't got it to give this year. They told me it doesnt matter, its not about the presents, and they're looking forward to the Christmas baking 😊

I still do feel like im letting them down, but im glad we spoke about it. Talk to your girls, im sure they will understand. I hope you all have a really lovely Christmas x

Sorry but this is utterly shit from their dad. He cannot contribute anything for his children at Christmas??? I’d be cutting him off tbh he sounds like the most useless toxic father. He’s let you down hugely and them.

Sorry he has proved so unreliable. It’s fine to give them small gifts and buy second hand. Don’t get sucked into loads of money = lovely Xmas. It’s not what it’s about xxxx

I don't know op from anyone. I donate a lot of time and money to a local charity that properly checks out grant applicants. I expect I do far far more than most. I was aiming to reassure op that there are plenty of children not getting excessive mounds of gifts.

I've been a struggling single mum and I wouldnt have accepted help if I could afford £100 a child and I imagine op is the same.

I always laugh at people who say “but why isn’t he contributing? Can you not ask him for X, Y, Z?”. This man is clearly an enormous shitbag who doesn’t give a toss about his kids. Appealing to his better nature won’t work if he hasn’t got one. You can’t make someone contribute who chooses not to.

OP, I totally get it. And I’m so sorry. Some good ideas on here but I know how it feels, and it’s all compounded by your being so rural, so second-hand stuff will be hard to source. Your girls will truly remember that you did your best, I promise you. Be honest with them. And I hope you all have as merry a Christmas as you can muster.

Oh good, as you are wealthy and she is a struggling single mother, you can DM her, get her details and send her some money to help her buy the things she can't afford.

All sorted 😘

We only spend about 150 /child and we are wealthy.
It doesn't need to be about massive overspending

As someone who has volunteered with it for years
years and has watched thousands of pounds worth of stuff go into wet storage containers to be held
for future years. I can safely say there is a surplus of stuff and kids receive gifts from it when their parents also have had a small amount to spend on them it’s not exclusively reserved for children with no other presents or gifts. Also £100 per child which is hardly much in the current economy.

Give your head a wobble instead of petty responses on mumsnet will ye?