£100 Christmas budget per teen, I feel awful

Ignore, some people are not right in the head.

A lot of people don't understand what it's like to have kids with no family support.
No gifts from other family members, no pocket money from. Grandparents or people in their lives.So you try and make xmas nice.
I'm sure they will understand sending big hugs to you.It's hard with no support xx.

I am sure she would have if her ex hadn't promised funds.

Better to vent here. But it is still a pretty healthy budget. They are not going to he deprived.

I was always a single parent. Money was very tight as I couldn't work, as dd had special needs (but no disability benefit to help)
DD would get the argos catalogue, write reams of things she likes, then would say to me, but you must only buy me one thing mummy. She always got more BUT she was aware we didn't have much. She didn't mind as that's how she'd been brought up, not to expect. Talk to your children, tell them what's happened (ok perhaps embellish if you don't want to bad mouth the ex) they're more than old enough to understand (mine was only 4-12 ish)
Tell them it doesn't mean you think any less of them. Tell them to choose one reasonable present. That's all you can do

I’m only doing £100 per child this year…. Boy (17) is slightly over as I got his in the sales earlier in the year. My girls are 22 and 23 however I’ve told them that I’m cutting back. They’ve always been materialistic and I’ve told them ‘no more’ . I’ve got the girls some Elemis, make up that they use, bath bits and some cosy socks. Birthdays are the same amount now and is a piece of jewellery.

£100 is a good amount , no need for OP to feel bad about it.

If you don’t have that much money, manage your children’s expectations. It’s a strange and unattractive thing about our society that many feel like they have the right to to live like celebrities even though they can’t afford it. You’ll be doing them a massive favour by teaching them to live within their means and be happy with it.

Im sorry that you are managing this on your own. You are doing amazing. Its their dad that has let them down here not you. For what its worth when I was a teen it was just my mum, me and my 2 younger brothers. Dad was not on the scene and notoriously let us down time and time again. One Christmas he was supposed to contribute towards christmas but surprise surprise he didn't. My mum was so sad and spoke to the 3 of us and let us know that she could only afford £50.00 each for presents. We had an amazing Christmas, we knew how much effort my mum had put into it and that she was juggling alot. As hard as it must be for you, try to talk to the kids about it if you can. Im sure they will know that you are giving all you can and making it as wonderful as you can. You are doing amazing and christmas is no easy thing to juggle on your own! Their dad should be ashamed.

OP I have been in that same position where we spent £100 per child due to very difficult circumstances despite us both working full time, so don’t feel bad, you can only do what you can do. You can also give IOU notes for perhaps buying some of the items on the kids lists in Jan or Feb.

Second hand pianos are often given for free / cost of delivery and you could also get a keyboard or OR your child will have a to wait until you have the money. Will family members give money or ask what they would like (in which case you can ask for o
money towards the things they want).

£100 isn't that bad. If you don't have the money, you don't have the money...

Hello you are doing the best you can. A budget of £100 is really generous and they are old enough to learn about prioritising spend and budgeting. My three boys (17,13,11) never want anything, despite being asked from November time for ideas. I fill up Christmas sacks with their favourite chocolates and snacks and give them £100 each. They are always delighted!
Have an honest conversation with them and ask them to choose one big item. I am sure you will all have a wonderful time.Please don’t put too much pressure on things and take care of yourself.

At 17 I was working nearly full time hours to support myself whilst studying for 2 GCSEs and 3 A Levels. And, whilst suffering with chronic fatigue. It was a killer.
My parents were separated too, and even though my dad paid a reasonable amount of maintenance, my mother apparently never had enough for my basic essentials, so I had to stump up the cash for them. The last thing I thought about was what I was getting from my mother at Christmas. All I ever wanted was to be loved and wanted by her, but she will forever be incapable of giving me that.
Love your kids, be honest with them, and some day they'll realise that that's enough.

No but the teens have asked for stuff that washing to be in the price range and @ClypoClimb just meats to get her girls something they want

so many of you suggesting the op gets into debt
you seem to have completely loss the meaning of christmas and cost of living imo
nobody HAS to spend a particular amount, do you have to show your teens your receipts to prove how you love them

Could you buy via eBay or Amazon but by the 3/6 payments via klarna or PayPal

Quizzes. Referral vouchers. Discount codes. Amazon can be a false economy - try this for music

https://www.agar-trust.org.uk/grants-for-individuals/

Use Klarna, vouchers and cashback. Vinted. Tesco or boots points. Hacoo. Freebie facebook groups and community groups.

I would do this too. Spreads the cost but without the temptation and cost of a credit card. I put away money each month but ds2 birthday near Christmas eats into it - so to my mind it’s just carrying that on past christmas

I’m sorry this is happening to you, I know the horrid feeling of not being able to do ‘enough’ I don’t have the answers, but when I was in your situation I got a Very catalogue and paid it off £5 per month. Took me all year but then I would do it again. I wasn’t able to cope with not giving them what they wanted (good kids who didn’t ask too much) so I did that instead. The feeling is awful 😞

please ignore the £100 is enough brigade! £100 goes no where, the price of everything has tripled.

No money I'm afraid but even when we had more we never spent a lot for the sake of it. We do have an electric piano (dd3 has just passed her grade 8) but that would never have been a Christmas present. The stool that we bought to go with the keyboard (before the electric piano) we got from the charity shop was a joint Christmas present between dd3 and ds.

Sorry, ignore that last link - that's the keyboard version, not the digital piano. Again, it's unfortunately above your budget, but you can find them second hand if you can scrape together a little more budget (I appreciate that's not an option for lots of people): www.ebay.co.uk/itm/397343723540?chn=ps&_ul=GB&mkevt=1&mkcid=28&google_free_listing_action=view_item

You're not unreasonable to feel the way you do. That's a real kick in the teeth from the kids' Dad. You're not letting them down, but I get why you feel you are.

Getting a digital piano (as opposed to a keyboard) for £100 is a challenge. It might be worth looking on a cheap but reliable website like Gear4Music, finding the less expensive models, and then searching online for a used version. If she only wants semi-weighted then the cost might not be too bad.

For example - these are above your budget, but with an offer you might manage to get something like this at a reasonable cost:
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/336338065612 (has fully weighted keys)
https://uk.webuy.com/product-detail/?id=SMIDALEQ88MK2B (semi weighted keys)

There are super cheap unbranded sustain pedals available, though you'll have to check compatibility.

Good luck OP.

Absolutely agree. I was just highlighting that's its not a an unusual amount of money!

Is that a choice or is that because you don’t have any money? Because there’s a difference knowing you’re growing up making ends meet and not wanting to put on your mum so not asking for expensive presents to being told (like ops teens) that they have a budget for Christmas and picking what they want.

You have to live within your means but how sad that OP feels she can’t treat her kids for Christmas