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Original poster

Ex choosing not to spend Christmas Day with his children

40 replies

Blackcat7725 · 09/12/2025 18:11

My ex of 7 months isn’t willing to come for Christmas Day as he’d previously said he would. He’s saying no as it’s not appropriate but I rather feel it has to do with his girlfriend of 6 months who he has unbelievable bought a house with. He had said he’d only pop in with some presents but our children would really like him to come for the day. We have always been mostly amicable. I feel he is choosing the new girlfriend over his children. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 09/12/2025 19:04

What he’s proposing is quite normal for split up families?

Coffeeishot · 09/12/2025 19:03

Was his girlfriend.invited or were you hoping for happy families ? That does not help the kids and even though he said he would he was probably right not to come, it is his loss. Which day is he planning to see them.

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/12/2025 19:00

Well you say he wants to see them and he will. He probably doesn’t want to spend the whole day at yours as he’ll want to be with his partner. Do you want him back? He’s moved on, pretty decisively by the sounds of things. Is he having the kids on Boxing Day?

Whaleandsnail6 · 09/12/2025 18:59

19lottie82 · 09/12/2025 18:56

I wouldn’t expect your ex who has a partner, to want to spend the whole day with you as if you were still a family unit I’m afraid. Popping in for an hour or two seems ok.

I guess you’ll have to discuss how to split christmas going forward.

This

I think spending the day together can also send mixed messages to children if they are young

Picklemysink · 09/12/2025 18:58

Is his partner invited? Or did you invite him and not her in attempt to make him choose?

19lottie82 · 09/12/2025 18:56

Besnymore · 09/12/2025 18:18

He sounds utterly vile OP

Hardly.

19lottie82 · 09/12/2025 18:56

I wouldn’t expect your ex who has a partner, to want to spend the whole day with you as if you were still a family unit I’m afraid. Popping in for an hour or two seems ok.

I guess you’ll have to discuss how to split christmas going forward.

letstrythatagain · 09/12/2025 18:54

Not sure him spending the whole day there is the best idea but him calling in sounds better. He can see the kids then but you won't have to put up with him all day!

Lidre · 09/12/2025 18:54

It probably is to do with new GF, would you want your partner spending Christmas playing happy families with his ex? But it's for the best, it might be what your DC say they want, but of course what they really want is you back together, and pretending you are, even for a day, won't help anyone long term.

Wingingit73 · 09/12/2025 18:49

He wants to see the children. But doesn't want to spend the day with you. Let them enjoy their morning.

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 09/12/2025 18:40

First response nails it! Don’t waste any energy second guessing him.

Icecreamisthebest · 09/12/2025 18:20

I would not make an issue out of this. Combined christmases are not for everyone. The important thing is that he continues to parent his children and have them regularly for contact

Besnymore · 09/12/2025 18:18

He sounds utterly vile OP

HoskinsChoice · 09/12/2025 18:17

I think it's a bad idea to spend Christmas together, it gives the kids mixed messages and possibly hope of getting back together. They need to get used to splitting Christmas between both parents so I'd have a chat with him and work out which days you're each going to have.

CandyCaneKisses · 09/12/2025 18:16

Leave him to it, it’s his loss.