Ex choosing not to spend Christmas Day with his children

Sounds like you need to start alternating Christmases. Ask him what days over the Christmas period he will be taking them.

The children should spend part of the day with each of you, but you don't have to all spend the whole day together.

It’s good that he still wants to pop in for a bit with presents and that you have a amicable relationship. Focus on making this work I had similar at first ex used to spend most of xmas day when we had a younger kid (although no new partner) then it turned into popping in early morning for present opening and breakfast once they stopped believing in Santa. if he has moved on with new partner he will probably wanting to spend most of Xmas day with her. Are kids going Boxing Day to his?

This!

I think your getting of lightly most people have to split Christmas with ex partners. Don't push him you won't like the outcome

If he didnt have the new girlfriend would you have wanted him to be with you as much?

Why can't he have them at his own house? Don't think it's appropriate for him to spend the day with you. Surely he has access to them regularly so you just negotiate. My ex has the kids every Xmas eve after dinner. They come back to me for Christmas lunch. But they are 15 and 12. How old are your kids? I think it's fair what he's proposing

Yabu girl

I also question his timeline of moving on

But girl - he has moved on. I suspect you hope to reconcile in future but that isnt going to happen, I am very sorry x

That sounds miserable for DC. Better a 2nd "Christmas Day" imo, or for him to pop in with presents and have DC another day.

You are not together anymore and he has a new partner so it’s not appropriate for him to spend Christmas Day with you anymore. DP used to spend Christmas morning with DSD at her house watching her open her presents then DSD would go to her DM’s family for the rest of the day and DP and I would go to his parents for lunch and the rest of the day.

His plan means you both get to see your DC on Christmas Day and you get to keep them which I would be happy with, it’s better than alternating Christmas and not seeing your DC on Christmas Day at all.

It’s time to move on with your life as he has.

Why can’t you have some of the day each?

Popping in with gifts is fine. He does beef to spend the day with the kids. This is part and parcel of being separated.

You’ve split. Either he has kids or you have kids.

As i child i was desperate for my parents to spend these days together, they were amicable. But it was because I was secretly praying they'd get back together and was too young to understand relation dynamics. It might stem from the new girlfriend but its right to pop in over spend the day with. New routines need to be established. It's not fair to get young kids hopes up of a reunion. If everyone had fully moved on and accepted perhaps a day altogether would be possible, but its fair enough at this stage to want separate. Totally understandable if its always separate moving forward. Kids can be excited by 2 Christmases etc

It sounds a little bit like you might hold a candle for him? Or are jealous? Nothing wrong with either of those things, but they might stop you from seeing the situation rationally: it’s not a good idea to spend Christmas with your ex. Like another PP said, he wants to see his children, but not spend the day with his ex (you).

Like others have said, it might be an idea to discuss christmases going forward?

One day you may have a new partner too. And I doubt you’ll want to spend the whole day with your ex then.

Why would he want to spend the day with you? Ask him to take them out for a few hours

I think that it's best that you both set new Christmas expectations from the beginning. One day you will probably have a new partner and won't want to be hosting your ex. He can do his own Christmas things with the kids it doesn't have to all be about Christmas day itself.

Why's it unfortunate? I think it's pretty normal not to want to spend a special day with an Ex.

Unfortunately this.

My parents were very amicable when they split and I think DF didn't want to take us from DM on Christmas day. He used to come round for an hour (maybe even less) on Christmas day to see us and bring presents. It was fine.

So you split up seven months ago. This new girlfriend has been around for six months and they've bought a house together. Yeah, he sounds like an absolute idiot but on this issue, let him do what he wants. My ex did not dissimilar and popped over the first Xmas morning apart but didn't hang around. I think playing "normal" would have killed me and it was easier to have him gone and see my lovely parents enjoy the day with their grandkids. Is that an option? So it's not just you and them?

He's moved on very quickly, but the decision regarding Christmas is a very sensible one imo, at the same time as ensuring he sees them on Christmas Day.

It’s understandable he doesn’t want to spend the whole day with you, it’d awkward and not that helpful to the kids, especially on the first Christmas apart. Him dropping in some presents is fine, if he stays for an hour even better. Don’t battle with your ex about things you cannot control, it’s the kids who loose out of you two can’t be civil

I suppose his setting the norm. He doesn’t want spend the day with you and the kids. I guess next year he will expect to see the children on Christmas Day at his without you.

I agree with this. Don't make a big deal out of Christmas, it's consistent regular contact that it's important IMO.