to have weird feelings about friend's silence re. sudden wealth

But the OP knows it’s an inheritance. Why does it make a difference if she makes some pious little ‘I’m so blessed’ comment?

I voted Yabu because you shouldn't expect your friend to explain herself (I can't picture how she could work the windfall into the conversation without sounding like bragging). I think you should have enquired carefully if you are interested - and clearly you are.
A while ago I told my friend about a promotion that would mean considerable payrise but it was really awkward as my friend didn't congratulate me and changed subject. Ever since I struggle with sharing any good news, monetary or not.

But you’re the one ‘creating mystery’. No one told you not to mention it. It’s fairly clear from what you say that they bought their house/s using an inheritance, so why do you need her to explicitly account for it to you? Some of my friends suddenly became wealthy after their parents died, leaving them London houses originally bought for not much but which had become enormously valuable. They didn’t talk me through the details. I didn’t expect it. Other friends had trust funds that matured.

I think it’s weird. And not a “close friend” for sure.

@howthemoonshinesI was thinking about your comment about wealth.

Does it only apply to wealth? I think for me it would be more dramatic shift. go the other way. Surely as a friend you would ask? Are you ok?

I actually don’t have many close friends but those I do have tend to know everything from my mood to my child’s toilet habits.

if I suddenly rocked up in a huge house they would say, WTF. Or vice versa.

She might be absolutely desperate to have a good old chat about it but doesn't want to bring it up for fear of looking vulgar/ bragging?

Fgs OP just ask her! She can always tell you to mind your own, especially if you word it carefully. Its such a massive elephant in the room! Might even bring you guys closer together.

I think if you came into or won enough money to buy a mansion, with perhaps enough for a deposit on a second, you could then borrow against the first house for a second one which you'd then rent out, which would cover the costs. Then when the value of the houses, and your wages, have gone up, borrow and rent out for the third. So my money's on them winning or inheriting a fair amount but then being canny with the money.

I agree with all of this.
I would be hurt if a close friend didn’t mention a huge change in lifestyle and circumstances, for just these reasons. A change in either direction, it is odd not to mention it. Eg my friend who said “we are so lucky to have this house, I couldn’t have bought it if my parents hadn’t left me theirs” .

Most people I know with large houses either inherited, or were given a generous start up for their first house, and then upgraded house by house, moving a few times as they progressed through their career.
If a close friend had gone from a small and tatty rental to a mansion I would have asked. A less close friend I would assume inheritance, but a close friend I would be curious and ask something along the lines of ‘gosh, this must have cost a fortune, how did you manage to buy it ?’ because it’s the sort of thing I tell my close friends, and I am nosy !
Op you could just ask, next time you are sitting round a table with a glass of wine, just explain that you have been curious but didn’t want to seem rude, how did they get into building this portfolio of mansions ?

I honestly can't think of anything worse than owning 3 mansions with the endless cycle of maintenance, repairs, cleaning, staff and tenants to manage etc. Horrendous.

I agree. That is why Jeffrey Epstein needed Ghislaine Maxwell to manage his residences (and other things no doubt).

Yes, I know you have but the point still stands LOL- what do you expect her to say that isnt going to sound like bragging? why does she have to announce where her money has come from?

Does this only apply to the rich?- should you also be telling her about your finances and if not then why is it only on her to have to explain her bank account

The fact you are still thinking about it shows it is nagging at you. When I visit my friends houses or see them on video I am not still thinking about them hours later so clearly its still on your mind and I find that weird.

I don’t think YABU because a proper friend would mention something at least in passing, something along the lines of “yes grandparents have really helped us out, bless their souls” or something like that. The fact that you aren’t let in on the insider info of where they got all their money just makes you feel more like an acquaintance rather than a good friend and this feels like a disconnect for you if you thought you were closer. “Inner circle” usually gets to know about sources of money, even if it’s just super high level, “family helped us out” sort of thing.

Some people like to pretend their money wasn’t inherited so that’s another reason you could be put out, that she seems like she’s trying to pass it off as their salary when it’s not. It doesn’t feel genuine to you.

Good friends generally like to be “let in” on the journey of life, so big step ups, they like to hear about the honest reason and the perspective of the person experiencing the change. It can be jarring when people try to brush over big changes and pretend they have always been changed. Like the friend who was struggling to find a job and then does and retroactively pretends they got a job very easily? You kind of want to have a shared history with someone.

Equally, you need to let people grow and change and not always hold them to their past versions. If she wants to pretend she never had a crappy rental and has always been Miss Mansion then sometimes you just have to allow that identify to take precedence.

Sounds like living beneath their means in a crappy rental has paid off long term.

Criminal money is a good reason to keep schtum.

Yes. But surface level compliments on the house itself are not the same as bringing up the change in circumstances and asking reserved questions about that aspect to indicate it's a topic you're open to and won't be weird about. You've decided that she's made the topic off-limits because she hasn't raised it herself, but those aren't actually the same thing.

Of course there is also a possibility that after years of knowing you she has reason to believe you would be weird about it and so is deliberately not mentioning it. It's worth considering that since no one on here can tell.

Perhaps she doesn’t regard you as much of a close friend which is why she hasn’t disclosed? You say you don’t refer or talk about your windfall. Or perhaps it’s just that you’re all extremely polite and courteous about the odious issue of money *faux posh accent.