Page 2 | I do not like nativity plays

ZippyPeer · 2025-12-09T17:34:47+00:00

Went to my first one to watch my daughter, huge discovery that I do not like them. My view: The play wasn't funny or an interesting story. An irritating number of sexist stereotypes in the reimagined story - innkeepers wife fgs. A few kids clearly actively hated being involved - not enjoyable to see them suffering. Lots of the kids looking exceedingly bored or like they didn't really want to be there. Reminded me of when I had to perform in them as a child and the literal hours of waiting around doing nothing during rehearsals and on the day and being told to shush and sit still - so boring. Nice to see my daughter doing her bit and some of the other kids I know, and see the differences in the way the kids were on stage, but like, no where near enough to offset the other stuff... Probably I won't go again and will leave it to the enthusiasts, but are there other people who feel this way? Am absolutely bemused by the number of people who seem to love them. Yabu - do you have no soul, the nativity is delightful Yabu - it's a pain in the arse we all have to endure

cocog · 09/12/2025 22:59

Your kid will be looking for you in the audience that’s why you go. Not the acting capabilities of 4 year olds 🤔

Caiti19 · 09/12/2025 22:49

Genuine enthusiast here. Absolutely love them. I usually struggle to hold back a tear. The innocent little faces singing in harmony. But I am a total sap in general.

Ahwig · 09/12/2025 22:48

I think the inn keepers wife was just another chance to get a role for another child. My cousin was a twig . He wasn’t even a tree . He was a twig on a tree. He had to dress all in brown and loved every second and my aunt cried when he came on stage.

ELMhouse · 09/12/2025 22:45

I don’t find my kids shows that interesting whether it’s a choir concert or nativity unless my kids are on stage. I find that I am still forever at them many many years down the line.

However I am always proud of all the kids for having a go and all the work that must go into this before the show by the kids and the teachers. When some kids wave at their parents or bellow their line too loud and when they all take their bow, 9/10 even if a child hasn’t had a line to know their parents have seen them and are proud of them means so much.

Also the older my kids get the less cute they get I find myself longing for the days of them prancing about like cute angels or Shepard's! And the photos I can look back on over Xmas shows from the last 15 or so more years are so worth the hour or so of being sat in a hot hall feeling uncomfortable and not quite being able to hear.

my advice is take photos but especially videos as they have become so important as my kids have gotten older, especially hearing their little cute voices if they have lines.

tourdefrance · 09/12/2025 22:39

Do you have a partner? He or she can go next year. I found school productions hard for different reasons and taking turns helped.

KilkennyCats · 09/12/2025 22:34

ItsStillWork · 09/12/2025 22:17

They’re shit tbh. I’d much rather they were learning in a classroom rather than having weeks of rehearsals.

it was very uncomfortable watching my ds on stage who was looking very very out of place and was struggling standing on stage and being expected to perform.

he used to get anxiety about school plays so now he opts out of them completely

It’s sad that your ds was so uncomfortable, but that hardly makes nativity plays “shit” as a concept.

EconomyClassRockstar · 09/12/2025 22:29

I must be super sentimental because they make me cry. It's been a very long time since I saw an actual nativity because they don't do them here in the US, where were live at least, but plays put on by infant school aged kids?! LOVE them.

Demigoo · 09/12/2025 22:24

ZippyPeer · 09/12/2025 17:50

Right. But if quite a lot of the kids do not seem to be enjoying it (maybe they are but I just can't tell?) and the parents aren't enjoying it...what is the point?

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Eh? How can you say loads of people have said to you how they enjoy them and then say parents aren’t enjoying it.

The HOURS of dance shows I’ve sat through for my niece is ridiculous. It means something to her though and she means everything to me.

You have such a selfish perspective on things. This took a couple of hours out of your night, get over it.

IfyouStealMySunshine · 09/12/2025 22:22

Oh I absolutely loved the nativities and I’m usual a big cynic.
It’s just all the innocence you see knowing that eventually they’ll grow up and never want to sing as loud and proud or wave and look so excited to see you. I used to love how it wasn’t polished, remember one shepherd shouting he was starving and if he could have a mince pie to his mum at the back.
Sure enough mine are now teenagers and it went in the blink of an eye.

NooNooHead · 09/12/2025 22:18

MargaretThursday · 09/12/2025 20:10

What's it about?

It's about little Jamie who in year R took one look at the audience and hid under his chair... but in year 2 has managed to say his line "The Kings are here" loud and clear because he's gained that confidence.
It's about Maia who's very shy, but has loved learning the "star" dance and feels that she's now making friends with the other "stars".
It's about Billy who would love to perform, but his parents are unable to afford it, taking a part he loves.
It's about Emily who sings beautifully, but no one knew this before she was given a line in the show to sing.
It's about Taylor who has always been the one who gets into trouble, but he said his lines with such expression the audience gave him a spontaneous round of applause, and suddenly he feels that he can do things.

It's about the class working together, learning the songs, listening to each other.

And it's about them standing in front of their family, knowing that their family is proud of them and came to watch them because it was something where they were important - even if all they did was open and close the curtains.

I chaperone, for amateur performances. I have a couple of children in my head when people say how pointless performing was.
One was a little lad who commented that even if all he did was "walk across the stage carrying a sign that said "London" dressed all in black" - to his Mum he was the star. Wouldn't you like your child to know you are that proud of him?

The other was a little one who took one look at the audience the first show and said she couldn't go on. By the end of the run she was speaking her lines with confidence and cried because it was over. She turned to me and said "I wish my school could see me. They'd know then that I can do something well".
Maybe your child doesn't need to find something that they can "do well", but another one does.

This.

Just this.

Thank you for your beautiful reply. I cried at your special words. It's definitely described the epitome of nativity plays.

You sound a wonderful chaperone for the amateur production. They are lucky to have you.💕

ItsStillWork · 09/12/2025 22:17

They’re shit tbh. I’d much rather they were learning in a classroom rather than having weeks of rehearsals.

it was very uncomfortable watching my ds on stage who was looking very very out of place and was struggling standing on stage and being expected to perform.

he used to get anxiety about school plays so now he opts out of them completely

NooNooHead · 09/12/2025 22:11

Wow, you are a bit of an old misery, OP 😅

Come on, it's definitely something that most people find slightly more boring than the average National Theatre production, but obviously it's hardly Shakespeare so what do you expect? 😜

My youngest is in her first nativity play tomorrow, and has been joyfully singing out of tune loudly for the past few weeks. It's delightful, a special time i will always cherish, and I will look back on my children with fond memories of their happy time at their primary school.

I know it isn't a slick production but it's a sweet, special way to be there for my family. Enjoy your children, OP. They are only little once 😟💕

winterbluess · 09/12/2025 21:51

I don't think many people like them, we just suck it up and go to see our kids do their part 🤣

The kids always talk so quietly, and babies screaming in the audience, you can't hear anything anyway.

DriedHydrangea · 09/12/2025 21:49

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 09/12/2025 19:17

Thankfully my daughter is in a multicultural school who don’t seem to do the nativity. I am not complaining, I find them tedious and dull.

DS was at two primaries in two countries, both with kids from a wide range of ethnic backgrounds. One was a secular school and didn’t do a nativity. One, a C of E school, did — I remember Joseph being Sikh in the Year 1 one, and a bunch of Muslim elves attended the birth of Jesus.

HoppingPavlova · 09/12/2025 21:37

Aren't they just an innkeeper? Why do they need to be a wife? In this particular retelling they were obsessed with cleaning...a sexist stereotype I could do without

If you are talking about gender roles around 0BC, then I don’t think women, while working their arses off, we’re listed as having occupations or were identified by name in any census (although would be good to have an actual historian confirm). My understanding is, a man would have been the Innkeeper, Cheesemaker or Winemaker, even though their wives would have done a huge amount of the work also they didn’t have a ‘professional title’. I also presume around 0BC that women did the cleaning given they were still solely doing it through to the 1970’s. So, it seems the play was fairly historically accurate.

Vaguelyclassical · 09/12/2025 21:35

ZippyPeer · 09/12/2025 17:58

Lol

Or is just a weird tradition we do in Britain that benefits hardly anyone and actually we would be better binning off the whole thing?

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I promise you that Nativity Plays are not limited to Britain! And as for the plot not being action-packed enough or whatever, the script makers are kind of limited by canon . . . .

Original poster

ZippyPeer · 09/12/2025 21:33

Soashamed60 · 09/12/2025 21:06

It's just the traditional nativity story, a bit of fun at Xmas. Wives would have done the cleaning in those days anyway. One little school nativity play is not going to brainwash little children into thinking a woman's place is in the home, being a good wife doing all the cooking & cleaning.
Save your feminist stuff for when your dd is old enough to understand 🙄

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That's one of the key messages of the feminist movement, little kids absorb societal norms and pressures early on, gotta start the fight against the patriarchy from the beginning.

So yeah, I guess I don't want to create the impression that women/girls are only accessories to or defined by their relationship with men/boys

OP posts:

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 09/12/2025 21:32

MargaretThursday · 09/12/2025 20:10

What's it about?

It's about little Jamie who in year R took one look at the audience and hid under his chair... but in year 2 has managed to say his line "The Kings are here" loud and clear because he's gained that confidence.
It's about Maia who's very shy, but has loved learning the "star" dance and feels that she's now making friends with the other "stars".
It's about Billy who would love to perform, but his parents are unable to afford it, taking a part he loves.
It's about Emily who sings beautifully, but no one knew this before she was given a line in the show to sing.
It's about Taylor who has always been the one who gets into trouble, but he said his lines with such expression the audience gave him a spontaneous round of applause, and suddenly he feels that he can do things.

It's about the class working together, learning the songs, listening to each other.

And it's about them standing in front of their family, knowing that their family is proud of them and came to watch them because it was something where they were important - even if all they did was open and close the curtains.

I chaperone, for amateur performances. I have a couple of children in my head when people say how pointless performing was.
One was a little lad who commented that even if all he did was "walk across the stage carrying a sign that said "London" dressed all in black" - to his Mum he was the star. Wouldn't you like your child to know you are that proud of him?

The other was a little one who took one look at the audience the first show and said she couldn't go on. By the end of the run she was speaking her lines with confidence and cried because it was over. She turned to me and said "I wish my school could see me. They'd know then that I can do something well".
Maybe your child doesn't need to find something that they can "do well", but another one does.

What a beautiful post - it made me cry.

Absolutely, it is about all of this. And so much more.

Thank you for posting.

HoppingPavlova · 09/12/2025 21:29

The play wasn't funny or an interesting story

Was it being a nativity play a surprise to you when you got there? Were you expecting another form of play or review?

Original poster

ZippyPeer · 09/12/2025 21:26

MargaretThursday · 09/12/2025 20:10

What's it about?

It's about little Jamie who in year R took one look at the audience and hid under his chair... but in year 2 has managed to say his line "The Kings are here" loud and clear because he's gained that confidence.
It's about Maia who's very shy, but has loved learning the "star" dance and feels that she's now making friends with the other "stars".
It's about Billy who would love to perform, but his parents are unable to afford it, taking a part he loves.
It's about Emily who sings beautifully, but no one knew this before she was given a line in the show to sing.
It's about Taylor who has always been the one who gets into trouble, but he said his lines with such expression the audience gave him a spontaneous round of applause, and suddenly he feels that he can do things.

It's about the class working together, learning the songs, listening to each other.

And it's about them standing in front of their family, knowing that their family is proud of them and came to watch them because it was something where they were important - even if all they did was open and close the curtains.

I chaperone, for amateur performances. I have a couple of children in my head when people say how pointless performing was.
One was a little lad who commented that even if all he did was "walk across the stage carrying a sign that said "London" dressed all in black" - to his Mum he was the star. Wouldn't you like your child to know you are that proud of him?

The other was a little one who took one look at the audience the first show and said she couldn't go on. By the end of the run she was speaking her lines with confidence and cried because it was over. She turned to me and said "I wish my school could see me. They'd know then that I can do something well".
Maybe your child doesn't need to find something that they can "do well", but another one does.

I like this, thanks for the explanation.

I guess as someone less involved I can't see all this stuff,but can see how for the type of kids you've mentioned it is a real boost

OP posts:

Soashamed60 · 09/12/2025 21:22

Did your daughter enjoy taking part? Was she proud to be in it and of you coming to watch her? If so then that is the reason you turn up. Whether or not you enjoy them is irrelevant. I can't believe you are saying you will not bother to attend them in the future. Your poor daughter.

Scarlettpixie · 09/12/2025 21:19

It doesn't matter if you hate it you still have to go. Your child will most likely be gutted if you don't (whether they enjoy it or not).

MumbleBumbleAppleCrumble · 09/12/2025 21:14

MargaretThursday · 09/12/2025 20:10

What's it about?

It's about little Jamie who in year R took one look at the audience and hid under his chair... but in year 2 has managed to say his line "The Kings are here" loud and clear because he's gained that confidence.
It's about Maia who's very shy, but has loved learning the "star" dance and feels that she's now making friends with the other "stars".
It's about Billy who would love to perform, but his parents are unable to afford it, taking a part he loves.
It's about Emily who sings beautifully, but no one knew this before she was given a line in the show to sing.
It's about Taylor who has always been the one who gets into trouble, but he said his lines with such expression the audience gave him a spontaneous round of applause, and suddenly he feels that he can do things.

It's about the class working together, learning the songs, listening to each other.

And it's about them standing in front of their family, knowing that their family is proud of them and came to watch them because it was something where they were important - even if all they did was open and close the curtains.

I chaperone, for amateur performances. I have a couple of children in my head when people say how pointless performing was.
One was a little lad who commented that even if all he did was "walk across the stage carrying a sign that said "London" dressed all in black" - to his Mum he was the star. Wouldn't you like your child to know you are that proud of him?

The other was a little one who took one look at the audience the first show and said she couldn't go on. By the end of the run she was speaking her lines with confidence and cried because it was over. She turned to me and said "I wish my school could see me. They'd know then that I can do something well".
Maybe your child doesn't need to find something that they can "do well", but another one does.

Beautifully put!

Soashamed60 · 09/12/2025 21:06

ZippyPeer · 09/12/2025 17:52

Aren't they just an innkeeper? Why do they need to be a wife?
In this particular retelling they were obsessed with cleaning...a sexist stereotype I could do without...

Show quote history

It's just the traditional nativity story, a bit of fun at Xmas. Wives would have done the cleaning in those days anyway. One little school nativity play is not going to brainwash little children into thinking a woman's place is in the home, being a good wife doing all the cooking & cleaning.
Save your feminist stuff for when your dd is old enough to understand 🙄

Cavalierorwhat · 09/12/2025 21:03

Nativity today to see my little one. Enjoyed seeing him perform and dance and was amazed at the talent of some of the others. But I did see others who were scared, bored, and one in particular who was clearly emotionally struggling to be on stage, trying to disappear into his costume. Could feel his pain.