To refuse to be a witness against colleague??

Just imagine if you’d have been sexually assaulted by someone you worked with on that night.
Nobody wants to give evidence. Either you do the right thing or you don’t. She may be prosecuted for this, aside from misconduct (gross) at work.

Has the man who she assaulted also complained

I think you need to say only what you actually saw, do not get involved in any hearsay. She may have groped the guy, but if you didn't actually witness it, you need to say you didn't see that. If you did see her flash her boobs, then you should say just that.

She doesn't sound lovely.

Consequences are different, and they matter. The reason why in english law that rape means 'penetrated with a penis' is a good example here. A woman cannot rape-being penetrated with a penis has different (more serious) potential consequence than being penetrated with a tongue or finger.

A man who is groped by a woman is not going to feel as intimidated, unsafe or violated as the other way around, generally speaking.

If the OP is going to add that the man had a disability of some sort, or was in a wheelchair, anorexic and the woman is a professional powerlifter who takes testosterone and/or other mitigating factors then that's different. But in general, if a woman groped me, I would suffer less mental hardship than if a man did. I would be less scared if a woman walked behind me on the way home at night. It's different.

I think it's shocking that she actually grabbed someone's crotch. Flashing her bra or whatever just sounds infantile but she chose to get super drunk with her colleagues and actually assaulted someone. There's no chance anyone would suggest a woman should just let that go and I see no difference here. Super gross atmosphere and there's really no excuse (I have never in my life been drunk enough to assault someone by accident!).

OP I think that you are downplaying this as it's a female. I am very resilient/robust and have always worked in a very male, VERY lax industry and could (and have) easily laugh off a male doing similar but I know that many can't - and so you have to speak up for them.

Also - your female colleague would do well to have some sort of disciplinary hearing. If this gets laughed off/brushed under the carpet, she'll carry on getting out of control at future events and it could end very very badly next time.

I think unfortunately the groping someone is where she has really got herself into trouble, so I don't think you telling anyone what you saw is going to make it much worse.

If someone drunkenly flashed me at a party male or female, I don't think it would be something I'd get upset about, unless it was a pattern of behaviour or a wider problem but I can see how it would offend others and that's their line to decide.

I do think the company do need to take some responsibility for the creating an environmental that encourages that level of drinking.

You tell the truth. There’s no way round it. Other people witnessed it too and if you lie your company will know.

Your description of the male colleague is making tears roll down my face. Just the thought of it is killing me. I'll be on the floor in a minute.

@Pukkajones by saying factually what you saw you may be corroborating her story. The person she flashed might have exaggerated for all you know. As you say, with regard to the assault on the other person, you’ve heard a rumour but in this case you’ve seen her lift her top and show her bra.

Just leaving this here, as the workplace protections have been strengthened in the last year.

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/new-protections-from-sexual-harassment-come-into-force

Agreed. Although it shouldn't surprise me anymore.

I read a post on here not so long ago from a woman who had cheated on her DH and loads of the replies were just telling her to forget about it and not to tell her DH?!

Yet someone posts that their DH has done the same and everyone is up in arms about how disgusting he is and to LTB.

Sounds like the sort of party where that probably happened too😂😂😂

@Pukkajones

YABU. This is not OK. I have been merry, tipsy, drunk, and pissed as a fart quite a number of times in the past, and inexplicably I managed to never flash my boobs at anyone, or grab a man's balls or cock! In fact, since I have been with my DH (35-ish years) I have never come onto another man! This woman's behaviour is disgusting, and saying that 'they got her pissed' is pathetic. No-one forced the drink down her throat!

She deserves her disciplinary 100%. Appalling behaviour!

You can't lie about what you saw. That makes you almost as bad as her, and you could get into trouble for not being truthful/lying by ommision!

Have you been formally asked to speak with her libd manager as a witness, has anyone else been asked. You just answer their question, don't elaborate, don't say you've heard this and that. If they ask you did you see her flash her tit's you just say you saw her lift her top up. It's up to them what, if any, action they take.

You don’t get to say how anyone reacts to being flashed. And if you’re a decent person, you wouldn’t say it. Nor would you say it’s totally fine for women to flash me at work, and they’re wet if they can’t take it.

imagine a young male got paralytically drunk, started feeling up a colleagues vag on the dance floor, got taken to bed, escaped and pulled his trousers down and flashed his willy at someone.

Would you be so reluctant to report as 'he is usually a nice quiet bloke'

Who cares. They cant make her if she sticks to her guns. I think its a stupid fuss. A woman goosing someone and flashing her boobs isnt the same as a man getting his cock out and sticking his hand between a womans legs. Maybe she should get a quiet talking to but thats it. They shouldnt provide drink if everyone ends up shagging and stripping off. Its the company trying to cover its ass.

Showing your penis to someone is not on the same level as a quick flash of breasts. Nobody’s walking away traumatised from the latter and it doesn’t have any of the same overtones of sexual threat.

And if a bloke got plastered and grabbed a woman between the legs, that would be trivial too?

There's a police woman in my local force just been fired for droping a colleague.

She's probably already screwed but I wouldn't like to have to go speak about this either.

So thats what you say.

She came into the bar lifted her top to expose her bra then left the room.

That would be lying and they'll know it.

Say you are not sure what you saw and for that reason you cant be a witness. Stick to your guns. I think its too trivial to get serious about. She got plastered. She behaved badly. So what.