To refuse to be a witness against colleague??

No you get a grip! and preferably not of some unsuspecting blokes balls. Abuse is abuse and if you cannot see that you are the one with the problem. This womans behaviour was sickening

I'm sorry, but the company is not responsible for how much she drank, which obviously was a huge amount. People need to take some responsibility for their own actions.

Just answer the questions truthfully. I imagine if your colleague had been male you would have been more than happy to snitch.

get a grip. And ‘drunken old slapper’?…telling misogyny.

I see your updates. I am not sure if the man complained himself or others took it forward but if he was leading the complaint then I think your involvement has been to the detriment of the truth which is unfortunate.
I do think the whole place has a toxic culture and social events are probably best avoided as much as possible and like you did, being sober is a must! Good luck

Really, you'd fear his next move would be to assault you? Well 'Jenny' actually did assault someone by grabbing his penis. But somehow imagined assault by a man is worse than actual assault by a woman?

Sometimes I think the stupid 'red pill' guys have a point when they talk about how men are opressed etc. If a man isn't allowed to complain about a random colleague grabbing his testicles just because she's a "lovely woman" and was drunk, we live in a very crazy world.

The company had a duty of care to Jenny as well as her colleagues who were assaulted.

The entire situation was reasonably foreseeable.

When I worked for a well known employer in my country they needed to change the alcohol policy so that if work drinks were to be consumed on or off the premises then an executive level employee must be present to supervise and that person must not consume any alcohol and that person had a duty of care. This is because my colleagues were sneaking off and having sex in the designated carers room (which was a closed office with a futon in it in case we had to bring in sick children).

I would answer this:

”I was concerned at the limitless open bar and that there was no duty of care - specifically there was no designated supervisor for the event who was not drinking. I saw many of my colleagues behaving inappropriately yet noone of any authority stepping forward to ensure that my colleagues were safe. But I did not see Jenny do anything that you have described.”

Someone in a position of authority should have intervened a lot sooner.

It really was foreseeable.

I am aware of an event where a Principal solicitor sat on the lap of a Prosecutor after consuming far too much alcohol. That was messy. Many members of the Court were present.

Do you know what happened? Nothing. Because no one snitched or escalated and it was known to occur at every event where there was alcohol served in abundance. I once hooked up with a guy who was a colleague of my bosses husband (at a work event) Everyone at work found out. No one cared because nothing would ever compare to what the Principal solicitor did and I was told that my behaviour was insignificant.

I’ve been at other law firms drinks and there was a two drink limit (served by someone with a responsible service of alcohol certification), outside catering provided plenty of food and there was a very clear start and finish time. When the event finished we were all told to leave. That was 15 years ago.

How do you know that something wasn’t put in her drink? Why didn’t someone call an ambulance so she could receive an IV bag in hospital and be monitored for alcohol toxicity??

Your employer failed in its duty of care to Jenny and every single person she assaulted that night.

That’s terrible but a completely different topic- child abuse. And those crimes committed against you were by men, not women. The argument isn’t about victims being male, it’s about perpetrators being male.

Women can absolutely be predatory. Yes, more men commit sexual assault than women, but that doesn't mean that no woman does.

This. Goodness if the positions were reversed you’d spring forwards to help a female friend, wouldn’t you! My DH was groped in this way at a dinner party and found it really unpleasant, and embarrassing. Sexual assault is sexual assault.

Are drunken male gropers also predatory, or just drunk?

OP this thread is very identifiable if anyone in the company is on MN. I really can't imagine in the culture you describe, that drunk colleague would get into much trouble for flashing her bra, which is all you saw. But you have now posted here that you have lied at work, which I would be worried about in your shoes.

I voted YABU because you stated in your original post that she had 'flashed her boobs' but in reality she hadn't.

Of course it's not OK to do that in a professional environment but as you said, everyone was encouraged to drink and a bra is pretty much a bikini top so hardly shocking.

If you'd seen the ball grabbing and lied about that then you'd definitely be unreasonable. That's straight up sexual assault.

And having all that alcohol available at a corporate event means the company is responsible for your actions and no personal responsibility is needed? Aye, right.

"there’s bound to be uncouth behaviour", no, it goes way beyond that and she should be pulled up on it.

Victims are still victims though.

Well sorry thst happened to you but not sure of the relevance here? You suffered sexual buse. This was not that.

Males are predatory, drunkern women are not.

Of course there is a difference.
I doubt the flashed colleague felt sexually threatened.
If a colleague exposed himself to me I would fear that his next move would be to assault me, if a colleague flashed DH he would find her ridiculous / have a laugh / enjoy the show / be disgusted - one of these, but for sure he wouldn’t worry about his safety.

It’s not it that it doesn’t matter. I think it is worse man to female versus female to male due to the potential for violence.

A predatory older woman uninvitedly touching a 20 year old boy is not good either.

What a marvellous bunch of folks - plastered, gropey, fighty exhibitionists.
And a 'nothing to see here' attitude. Yuck ☹️

This is the issue isn't it. She groped a male colleague and flashed another- all sexual harassment should be taken seriously. I knew a guy that was staying in a hotel with hen party and they broke his door down when he was sleeping! He was terrified.

It sounds like Jenny is a menace to men when intoxicated and this won't be the first time she has done this.

I agree about the flashing. If it were just the breast flashing, you could probably argue that this shouldn't warrant any more censure than a man baring his chest. The equivalent of baring a penis would be baring vulva/labia, not breasts.

It's the testicle groping that's by far the worse offence, in my opinion.

So at what age do you tell that boy who has been abused that the odd drunken grope from a woman doesn't matter? Is there an exemption for those who have been abused. I seriously hope this sort of thing is called out more and more and women start getting prosecuted. I say this as a mother of a son and also a wife. If someone grabbed my dh in this way there would be hell to pay, if it happened to my son she would have his wife to deal with and I don't envy her that!

You say you don't have time for 'this shite' but have the time to post about it on mumsnet and proudly tell everyone you are willing to lie when asked to be a witness, to cover up for someone who has groped and flashed at a colleague. You seem like a quality person.

At a company i used to work for the HR manager never went to the boozy work do - never. And I'm absolutely certain it was so that she never got herself directly involved in one of these ridiculous scenarios that OP is in.

She’s saying it with a wink wink nudge nudge. Yes she saw but she’s saying officially she never saw.