To refuse to be a witness against colleague??

So what if all abuse isn't equal, that doesn't make any of it acceptable. All abuse should be called out.

The OP is clearly happy to cover it up, however.

I'm really shocked at the amount of minimising on this thread about the impact of female-on-male sexual harassment/assault.

The physical difference between a man and a woman is one element of the power dynamic between a victim and perpetrator. In scenarios that involve a man physically threatening or overpowering a woman, it's clearly a hugely bloody important one, and one that will significantly impact the experience of the victim in terms of their ability to remove themselves from a situation, their risk of physical harm, and their level of fear and distress.

But in a workplace setting the physical power imbalance is much less relevant. A man could easily be in a relatively vulnerable position due to seniority, social networks, (invisible) disability, history of CSA or domestic violence etc etc.

It is absolutely outrageous to police the degree of distress and upset that a man feel relative to a woman in the context of workplace harassment, which is what is being discussed here.

Call it bullshit all you like but it doesn’t change the fact that not all abuse is ‘equal’. The level of threat and danger, physical and mental harm and potential for lasting trauma posed by men against women isn’t the same as the same as those posed by women against men. Men are more violent and powerful because biology and that’s without all the toxic masculinity shit added in. It’s just the way it is. It serves no one to pretend otherwise.

Congratulations on lying <heavy sarcasm>.

I hope you're recognised from your posts and somebody lets your company know about this thread...

Glad I'm not employed at a place where you're apparently nearly required to drink to excess. You should've told the truth, but at least I hope the out-of-control colleague has learned her lesson and won't overindulge at the next Christmas party.

No but people have played it down simply because it WASNT a man who did it. That’s the whole point.

I'm aware of that. I think it's appalling that people are playing this down.

Exactly this. You can’t say they plied her with alcohol. You were there and you were sober. Just because there is free alcohol doesn’t mean she has to get blind drunk and grope people. Men would be rightfully disciplined for that so why shouldn’t your friend.

if she just flashed her boobs then fair enough it’s probably no harm done although still inappropriate but she actually groped someone. That’s not ok.

I don't think anyone has said 'if a man did it'..

So is grabbing men by the testicles. Actually no, that’s assault.

Strange thing double standards. If a man had been getting drunk and sexually assaulting colleagues nobody would be playing it down or saying they didn’t want to get involved. But if a woman does it…Meh, it’s just Jenny innit?

I think this, I’d list to myself everyone there was some rumour or ott behaviour for the night, go in and say I understand you’re concerned about behaviour at the event due to the free bar and the companies very pro drinking culture? I believe the people you want to know about are Bob, Sandra, Sarah, James, Colin, dinesh, Mak, Adrian… and list about 20 names including colleague and see their faces (I wouldn’t say anything specific about them) then I probably would tell them what I saw about this woman and say I hope the company is taking its responsibility here seriously, this could have been a complete blow up and in the news with the number of crazy drunk people and shenanigans. She was definitely at fault but so are management and legally that’s very clear.

I agree that male on female is more serious because of the power dynamic. But a woman grabbing a man’s testicles isn’t nothing, I know that my DH would be utterly horrified it it happened to him.

But it isn't really relevant to the thread as the OP didn't see it so she didn't lie about that incident.

I don't think she should have lied about what she did see, but I don't see her friend exposing her bra as that big a deal really. Though she was very foolish to get that drunk.

Flashing is sexual harassment.

Well this isn't about a man though is it ?

Yes, she comes across as positively gleeful.

What is so awful about a bra?

You have no way of knowing that.

ETA plenty of posters here have been quite vocal in agreeing with the OP that her lies are acceptable.

Well, the poll is 50-50. So, many people here agree with OP are being quiet, in fear of being attacked on this thread.

I think it needs to be unacceptable, but it is different because of the different power dynamic, as PP says.

Bullshit. It's about victims being victims and - in the context of this thread - perfectly capable, cognitive people looking the other way and (for OP) revelling in it.

The colleague she assaulted and sexually harassed will have given their version of events, or will be asked to.

Try asking a man his opinion, I asked DH and he said it absolutely is no different, assault is assault and women need to be called out on it the same as men

She maybe lovely but people who know they behave badly after too much drink should pace themselves, especially at work do’s. I find it unlikely this is the first time she’s gone wild and she has sexually harassed two male colleagues. A man doing similar at a works Xmas do would quite rightly be torn to shreds and hopefully dealt with.

You need to factually state what you saw.

Please can you explain why you think is ok for men to be sexual harassed/ assaulted ?
Would you say the same if it was man on man assault? Or woman on woman ?