To refuse to be a witness against colleague??

Oh god I had something similar recently. I was specifically requested to provide a statement. In my case the lady in question was a bit touchy feely with me and I repeatedly stepped back and made my discomfort known. I made an excuse to leave the area rapidly. It was clear from conversations with others the same evening that she was being inappropriate with multiple people. I had to give a statement and I did say that I had no desire to make a personal complaint or take the matter further. , I even acknowledged that I was probably being a bit hypocritical as i may have been more inclined to if the perpetrator was male (I do work in a heavily male dominated industry). I said I was providing the statement after a direct request from my manager. She was subsequently fired but it transpired that she was propositioning clients during work hours as well as numerous other things and think she might be an alcoholic so the free booze was all a bit much for her. I think if it is a one off and there are no other concerns about her behaviour then she’d probably get a warning and not fired. Our company the senior managers make sure that one of them is not drinking and is a sort of designated person to keep an eye out and try to help these situations. One poor lady was with her for a coupon of hours trying to suggest she went and got so sleep and bar weee told not to serve her. I do think if the company is having a free bar then they have some level of responsibility if it is misused. I also think there may have been some changes to sexual harassment guidelines recently where they have to be more proactive which may be why you e been asked for a statement.

But you didn't say you saw this even though you've minimalised it?

Would your memory be this unreliable if a male colleague had groped a woman and flashed his budgie smugglers at them?

You haven't misremembered. You lied.

She shouldn't be saying anything about the grabbing of testicles as that's not something she saw, only something she heard about. She's not in a position to comment on it. However she's quite prepared to lie about the flashing incident, which she did see

With the chorus here- if she’d been a big drunk male running around flashing and groping, what would happen?

So a man drunkenly flashing his pants at the office do would also be a non event in your opinion?

It isn't a shame for her, it is shameful of her.

It's a real shame for her - but it is what it is, it definitely happened......& if it was a bloke grabbing lady parts & flashing, there would be absolute hell to pay.
I don't imagine anyone was forcing her to drink to the point of losing all inhibitions?
Most of us have done things we regret whilst under the influence - but that's not an excuse.
I would have to say what I'd seen if I was formally asked to.

Another one playing sexual assault down just because it wasn’t done by a man. No, because she didn’t want to say the woman got her tits out and grabbed a man’s testicles.

Tell them. If it was the other way around there would be uproar.

Totally agree.

Exactly

Surely people would have known that op was at the scene if the flashing incident, so would know she was lying?

If all you saw was her flashing her bra, then that’s all you can say anyway. Not really that bad. 🤷‍♀️. You’d see that on a beach.

Avoid repeating anything you’ve heard.

Alcohol fuelled office do’s are always dodgy, behaviour wise. 🙄

Classic mumsnet double standards thread. If a male colleague had flashed at a female colleague there would be uproar. If a male colleague fondled a female colleagues vulva he would be out the door and the police would be involved.

You should tell the investigation what you saw and then they can take action.

Alcohol is not an excuse for sexual assault, not ever if the male was wearing nice trousers so effectively asking for it.

I agree with your stance OP - yanbu.
A lot of drama on this thread.
The facts are: there is a third hand rumour/gossip that she groped a bloke - OP cannot verify that, or not - as she was not there. Nobody has even complained about that.
She lifted her top and flashed her bra - this has been complained about BUT not by the bloke she flashed at, by someone else. Flashing a bra is a non-event imo.
OP I would do exactly the same as you and stay right out of the xmas party drunken drama.

The company are fully responsible

Really, fully? She doesn't have any responsibility for her own actions. So anyone can do what they want as long as someone else pays for the drink? You're ridiculous.

"Victims" - of seeing a bra ffs! I can't think of any men who'd actually find this anything but funny, especially in a Christmas party setting where everyone else was also well oiled. If you think any of this is shocking I feel you must have led a very sheltered life. I can't think of a single office party when something similar didn't happen. Usually it was (often married) people caught shagging in cupboards or the loos and even the lift.

As for the alleged groping, the OP heard that 3rd hand as pure rumour and as the alleged "victim" hasn't complained, either it just didn't happen or he considered it a total non event.

Not everything in life needs to be turned into a bloody drama. This company obviously has a culture of wild boozy parties. The attendees have probably witnessed a lot worse and just quite rightly moved on after ribbing the culprit for a while.

Oh my ladies. I can't wait to tag some of you on future threads of women/men who were harrased or flashed pr grabbed so you can tell them it ain't a crime of a century and they might be exaggerating anyway so just let it go, poor soul must be ashamed.
Or on threads where their husband's/wifes were in these situations.

It does seem that women can behave however they want and people will look the other way. Men, on the other hand…

The waste paper bin does not have feelings or the right to not be touched.

It really isn't about this woman, it's about the men who were groped and flashed. They should be able to go to a Christmas party without worrying that they'll be sexually harassed or assaulted or made the topic of office gossip.

It doesn't have to be the crime of the century for it to be investigated. It could well be that the accusation going round is that Jenny flashed her boobs, in which case OP would have been doing her a favour by honestly stating that no she was wearing a bra.

Or could be that this is just the tip of the iceberg and Jenny has form for this sort of thing, in which case she should absolutely be pulled up on it.

It's a common pattern: one person finally dares to make an accusation, it's taken seriously, and then lots of other victims come forwards with similar stories.

Yet you should see the other thread where basically someone has been talking to someone on a dating site and apparently he randomly sent her a dick pick. As a result she has thrown a grenade into his marriage by sending a postcard to what she believes is his home.

My point? Women on that thread are going off their heads about this man. According to some this pic was sexual harassment and is a gateway to physical sexual assualt. Dick pick today, rapist tomorrow. He deserves to be shamed his marriage fall part etc etc. I get it's serious but it's a pic and women are losing their minds. Now I see this thread and apparently a man having his bits grabbed isn't such a big deal to some and op should turn a blind eye. I cannot believe the hypocricy.

I hope anyone who is assualted fights back, and as a wife and mother of a son I really hope more women are named and shamed and prosecuted for this. The woman who did this and those who think it's acceptable or turn a blind eye are not doing the rest of us any favours at all.

OP - good luck if you ever need a witness at work or anywhere for that matter. I bet the "I don't want to get involved" mob won't be so popular with you then.

It's sexual harassment under the equality act 2010.