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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For calling out my parents on abuse as a child

678 replies

Welshmum2010 · 09/12/2025 13:21

I have been thinking a lot lately about things my parents did to me as a child that are illegal now and would be classed as abuse. Because if this I don’t really want to have much to do with them but do I tell them or just reduce contact. I think if I said anything they would say all parents did it but I dont know if that’s really the case. I’m realising now I have my own children how bad it really was. I was a well behaved and polite child who did very well at school. I’d be smacked on a regular basis and this would be arranged to happen at a certain time and not just a tap on the hand at the point of doing something. I’d be sent to bed with no tea for a minor issue. I had my mouth washed out with soap on 2 occasions, once for saying a word I dint know in a sentence and another time for asking what something meant. We’re these typical in 1980s or was I harshly treated. They are very judgemental people or others for example if someone is what they would consider to be ‘common’ which now seems crazy when they used to hit kids and lock them in their room

OP posts:
toomuchfaff · 09/12/2025 13:31

I think that was the methods of the time, not saying that its right, but that it was commonplace and it was how people were told to discipline children.

YANBU to reduce contact if their actions continue to mean you dont want to be around them or have your children round them.

YABU if you blame it on the 80s parenting methods. Time has moved on, youd have far more clout for basing any decision uou make on the facts of today, not 40 years ago.

Welshmum2010 · 09/12/2025 13:27

Xmasdemon · 09/12/2025 13:23

I don't think it was uncommon

I don’t think that makes it right

OP posts:
Xmasdemon · 09/12/2025 13:23

I don't think it was uncommon