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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Never invited

37 replies

Namechange790 · 08/12/2025 20:41

I’m not a massive social animal but I’m like a night out every so often. I’ve noticed that the mums who I thought I was friendly with through our kids at school quite regularly go out for meals and nights out. One of the mums who goes always tells me about where they go and what they do. So does another one of the group. I’ve hinted at both of them that I’d like to go one night as I’m not from the area so have no real close friends about. Anyway, they all went out again on Saturday night and one of the mums was happily talking about it to me at the school gate earlier. I asked her in a roundabout way why she hadn’t mentioned it to me and she said “well sometimes you’re a bit quirky.” What the actual…. What is she saying? I’m a weirdo and they don’t want me about? Be kind as I’m struggling with a lot right now.

OP posts:
Poppyseed14 · 09/12/2025 01:53

They are not your people OP. You sound lovely, my cup of tea. I'm also probably a bit quirky. My daughter has also just been diagnosed AuDHD and it came as a bit of a shock to us. She's a teenager and we never realised. Probably due to our own quirks. Stay quirky OP. You will find your tribe. 😘

Original poster
Namechange790 · 08/12/2025 22:44

Thanks for replies. This is not the first time this has happened eg. They go out, I don’t get an invite and then this one person chats about the fab night out. My son, who is in the same class as their kids, is autistic and recently diagnosed. I think I share some of his traits and I am a bit quirky. My sense of humour is quite dry and sarcastic. I think I’m a hoot! Still amazes me how grown ups can be just as cruel as kids.

OP posts:
Whereismyfleeceblanket · 08/12/2025 21:03

Fuck them op.
Quirky people are the best.
School gate bitches stay bitches.

WildFlowerBees · 08/12/2025 21:02

They’ve done you a favour by letting you know what utter twats they are before you’d endured a night out. She was rude and hurtful.

DitzyDerbyBabe86 · 08/12/2025 21:01

They sound fucking awful and you’re better off without them in your life. Go off and be your fabulous quirky self. You’ll probably thank your lucky stars in a few years time that you weren’t involved with them.

ComfortFoodCafe · 08/12/2025 20:58

Please fuck them off.

Mandarinaduck · 08/12/2025 20:57

Wow, that must have stung.
But it's good that you asked and got things out in the clear. I think you should now distance yourself from this woman. Be polite but cool.
Do you have any other avenues for building up a bit of a social life?

Ninettas · 08/12/2025 20:56

Excluding someone because they’re quirky says a lot about the people you’re dealing with. As a mum of two beautiful daughters—one with a disability—I’ve experienced this behaviour myself many times. My advice? Leave them to their mediocre misery. Life is far too precious to waste on bullies. Love yourself. ❤️

graceinspace999 · 08/12/2025 20:50

They sound like boring snobs who are not worthy of you.
Keep looking for new quirky friends.

foodtoorder · 08/12/2025 20:47

From that response I would say they are not the people you need or would want to go out with.
Spreading your wings and find new people to talk to at the school gates.

Lmnop22 · 08/12/2025 20:45

Unfortunately it sounds like she’s saying that they didn’t invite you deliberately.

But please don’t take it to heart because people who would exclude someone deliberately, know they wound have liked an invite and then discuss openly the night out at the school gates are just never going to be your people.

I would focus on finding alternative mum friends at the school, talking to other mums and maybe joining an activity in the local area to meet new one that way!

AwfullyGood · 08/12/2025 20:44

It sounds like you are better off without people like that. What a bizarre, rude thing to say.