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AIBU?

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Original poster

Hearts on WhatsApp

111 replies

Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:03

A dad of ds friends. Put a heart on our whatsapp convo.
The kids have known each other for a few years but became close this year. My ds went over for a sleepover at theirs a month ago. His wife is a nurse and works nights. He was at home with the boys. Very good communication, reassured me and ds all is well. Update at 11pm when ds fell asleep.

Now today, the boys went to an activity. Got dropped off by friends grandparent. I texted the dad saying i can pick them up. He replied "Oh that's amazing ❤️ Let me know if you need any help with that 😊"
Coming from the mum i would think its normal. From the dad?! Do dads communicate with hearts on WhatsApp normally? Am i being unreasonable in thinking he's being too familiar?

OP posts:
CypressGrove · 08/12/2025 21:01

I think it was the under 30s that started it but now everyone is sending hearts because it seems rude no to!

Ratbag7 · 08/12/2025 21:00

I've had male colleagues at work sending a heart to say thank you when giving them advice, o don’t think it means I love you, but that they are grateful for the advice. It doesn’t bother me!

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:58

ConstitutionHill · 08/12/2025 20:55

Hey OP. I get why it seems odd. My male boss deployed a few on my Teams messages. But he's 29 and I'm 56. I've realised now that his generation use it to mean they just really like something. He does it to everyone.

This dad is similar age to me. In his 40s.

OP posts:
Livpool · 08/12/2025 20:57

YABU - I use them all the time for men and women, including men I know from work. Doesn’t mean I love them!

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:57

Iseeyou99 · 08/12/2025 20:45

He could have form for being a wandering eye sleazeball. OP responds in the same way., friendly love heart for example, completely innocently, he could get the wrong idea.

Other mum looks at his phone and sees heart, knowing he's a wandering eye guy who she already feels uncomfortable about - she could have a huge problem thereafter with OP.

Let's not pretend this crap doesn't happen.

If some guy sends me a heart emoji - married - I would be cautious until I had absolute proof not to be. I would be as formal and emoji less as possible. And I am a regular heart emoji user.

She isn't overreacting - she's being sensible.

Edited
Show quote history

Well i guess thats it. I wouldn't want the wife to see me sending love hearts to her husband.

I don't know this couple too well. Like i said the mum works nights at the hospital so i mainly communicate kids stuff with the dad because he works office hours.

OP posts:
ConstitutionHill · 08/12/2025 20:55

Hey OP. I get why it seems odd. My male boss deployed a few on my Teams messages. But he's 29 and I'm 56. I've realised now that his generation use it to mean they just really like something. He does it to everyone.

Iseeyou99 · 08/12/2025 20:45

EmeraldShamrock000 · 08/12/2025 20:31

Oh ffs. Cope on.

He could have form for being a wandering eye sleazeball. OP responds in the same way., friendly love heart for example, completely innocently, he could get the wrong idea.

Other mum looks at his phone and sees heart, knowing he's a wandering eye guy who she already feels uncomfortable about - she could have a huge problem thereafter with OP.

Let's not pretend this crap doesn't happen.

If some guy sends me a heart emoji - married - I would be cautious until I had absolute proof not to be. I would be as formal and emoji less as possible. And I am a regular heart emoji user.

She isn't overreacting - she's being sensible.

W0tnow · 08/12/2025 20:44

No dad I know would do it. I’m in my 50s though. Sometimes things can be misconstrued. There’s no mistaking the aggression in some of these replies though. 😀

Timebudda · 08/12/2025 20:41

Its heart emoji hes not asking for a date.
Men can send emojis aswell as women can.

Calliopespa · 08/12/2025 20:37

I don't tend to do this except to female friends, definitely not DH's style (it's a mushy day if even I get one!) but plenty of men do it (and none of them have so much as kiss tried to kiss me yet!) so I think it's just a convention.

But I agree: Strange New World!

mzpq · 08/12/2025 20:33

Do dads communicate with hearts on WhatsApp normally?

Yes, I think there was a study done some time ago that proves all dads are exactly the same 👀😁

EmeraldShamrock000 · 08/12/2025 20:31

Oh ffs. Cope on.

TamarindCottage · 08/12/2025 20:30

I now add a flower at the end of texts or WhatsApp messages just in case someone’s husband, wife or partner gets the wrong idea. HTH 💐

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:28

CypressGrove · 08/12/2025 20:26

When you asked if he was being 'over familiar' I did picture you being about 80 - but double checked you were the mum not gran!

Show quote history

Seriously?! 😆 Thats it. Im a prude and an ancient dinosaur. (Im in my 40s)

OP posts:
Iseeyou99 · 08/12/2025 20:28

Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:16

Haha this dad is my generation 😅 I must be ancient and super prude at heart

Show quote history

No you are not overthinking.

Is he fantasizing over you? Well maybe not. But it does feel a little over familiar. You are right. Dismissal of ones reality is huge on MN btw.

I suggest just go a bit further the other way in your comms. So go formal, no kisses, no emojis, blunt facts - if you ever need to communicate again.

Don't tell me women on here would have no problem if they saw this from their husband to another mum.

Let's say OP is an attractive hot thing - then she could be the one facing passive aggressive wrath here. Be cautious just to be safe OP.

I personally don't like thumbs up because I see you can text someone about something really serious and heartfelt or slightly sensitive - and they then thumbs up. That makes me think ' dick'.

Trust yourself on this. Go formal all the way.

Doggielovelouie · 08/12/2025 20:27

He could have also accidentally tapped the heart instead of thumbs up

CypressGrove · 08/12/2025 20:26

Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:16

Haha this dad is my generation 😅 I must be ancient and super prude at heart

Show quote history

When you asked if he was being 'over familiar' I did picture you being about 80 - but double checked you were the mum not gran!

IamnotSethRogan · 08/12/2025 20:25

Ivygold · 08/12/2025 20:10

Hearts are the new ‘thumbs up’ now, that’s all.

(Some people view thumbs up as passive aggressive for some reason)

Yeah exactly this

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:25

arcticpandas · 08/12/2025 20:22

I never put hearts when communicating with men- unless it's on a picture of my son and his friend.

It's hard to know- maybe this dad has just gotten used to the mum heart everything vibe and trying to be nice. Or he wants to bone you. I would just assume (hope!) explanation number 1 and go with that. Unless he's sleazy in person- then all playdates would be arranged with the mum.

I'm the same! And I when i replied to this dad, it was only a short text, no emojis of any kind 😆

OP posts:
IamnotSethRogan · 08/12/2025 20:24

I know lots of men who use hearts. Some just do. You're the only one who can judge if he's being inappropriate or not, but on the basis of just a heart I wouldn't be too concerned.

Jollyjoy · 08/12/2025 20:24

To me it’s often quite a literal way of saying ‘I love that’. I think that’s what he’s doing.

arcticpandas · 08/12/2025 20:22

I never put hearts when communicating with men- unless it's on a picture of my son and his friend.

It's hard to know- maybe this dad has just gotten used to the mum heart everything vibe and trying to be nice. Or he wants to bone you. I would just assume (hope!) explanation number 1 and go with that. Unless he's sleazy in person- then all playdates would be arranged with the mum.

Terrytheweasel · 08/12/2025 20:18

Some husbands i know put kisses, I don’t think anything of it - its just the way now

Original poster
Nayoryay33 · 08/12/2025 20:16

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 08/12/2025 20:13

I have a couple of male colleagues (I'd call friends) who do this. Its not my style but maybe it's the younger generation ? Jesus I sound ancient

Haha this dad is my generation 😅 I must be ancient and super prude at heart

OP posts:
Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 08/12/2025 20:13

I have a couple of male colleagues (I'd call friends) who do this. Its not my style but maybe it's the younger generation ? Jesus I sound ancient

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