To think that if we’re making all this money but not showing it off… what’s the point?

This completely.

I know people who couldn’t care less about cars from their own point of view but they wouldn’t be seen dead driving a Ford. They’d have to get a Range Rover to “show off” or keep up, or whatever. Which seems bonkers to me. I mean by all means get a Range Rover if it brings you joy/it’s what you want….but getting one so you can be seen driving one is crazy.

Ofcourse you can spend and enjoy your money how you like - however if your spending is seen as bragging or showing off, ofcourse you will get negativity. Why does it matter to you that others can see that you are doing well financially?

Ok, …but am I allowed to think royalty take it too far 🤔

I’m imagining Harry Enfield with his wads of money…

I don’t feel the need to celebrate what money I have and what I can afford. If I want a holiday I will have one, if I see a nice bag I like I might buy it but I wouldn’t ’show it off’. I prefer to spend money on doing things rather than having things and treating the people closest to me.

I grew up in a very skint family but still have absolutely zero interest in being ostentatious with money.
For me, having a decentish income means an ease of worry - not having to stress about an appliance breaking, or keeping the house warm. Being able to afford a safe, reliable vehicle. Being able to make decent pension contributions. Being able to eat really well and healthily, and not have to agonise over treats. Being able to help less well off family if they have an emergency, by gifting them help and not having to stress about being paid back.

What other people may or may not think of my doesn't come into it, but if I think about it, I'd absolutely cringe at being flash.

I think it comes down to the fact that nobody likes a show off.

If the only way you get enjoyment from your wealth is showing off, presumably to those less lucky, I think that's tacky beyond words!

No issue with enjoying what you have of course, I just do t think most people need to show off to enjoy themselves.

You want validation, and you seem insecure.

Enjoy your money by all means, but the moment you're consuming in order to "show off" rather than for personal enjoyment or pleasure then you're not just being unreasonable, you're being insufferable.

Yabu and foolish IMO.

Boasting about your money makes you boring and a target, professionally (no-one likes a show off) and for criminals.

You can enjoy your wealth quietly . You can stack it into your pension or buy the upgraded versions of everything - cashmere coat rather than wool, better engine in the car, more comprehensive gym membership, better food, finer wine, better rooms and flights on holiday.

Why do you feel the need to flash it? It's tacky and insensitive when so many are struggling.

It depends on the circles you mix in of course but I think it is delusional to think that people are envious of people getting rich from a 'hustle'?

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the rewards of your hard work. If you’ve come from a background where having anything felt uncertain, it’s natural to have a bit of “look at me now” when you can finally buy the nice bag or book the holiday without doing mental maths in Tesco. That’s human, not shallow.

Here’s where the British instinct for quiet self-preservation comes in — a touch of subtlety can save you a lot of trouble. The moment people think you’ve “made it,” you meet a whole new cast of characters: “friends” who start hinting they’re “struggling a bit,” "friends" who treat your bank account like a public water park, and HMRC, who never misses an Instagram post of you holding prosecco near anything that could be a deductible expense.

British culture has a complex relationship with wealth: there’s a prevailing sense of entitlement to other people’s money and wealth. People encourage hard work, but the moment it becomes visible, someone is ready to start crafting your obituary.

It’s not about hiding success — it’s about protecting your peace.

A few tips to stay happy and safe: celebrate privately and enjoy publicly but sensibly — share the sunset, not the villa’s price tag. If you buy designer, choose what you love, not what screams “I’m trying to impress the internet.” Keep financial details vague — not out of secrecy, but because some reactions can be… unpredictable.

And remember taxes: the more visible your lifestyle, the more important it is that everything is spotless on the financial side. HMRC loves enthusiasm, especially when it makes you easier to audit.

Jealousy is real. Some see wealth as a group project they missed out on and feel oddly entitled to your money.

Enjoy what you’ve earned — just do it in a way that keeps you proud and your peace intact.

Show it off a bit if it makes you happy, but don’t turn it into an open call for everyone’s expectations.

The goal is to have a good time, not to end up as everyone’s personal ATM.

Not sure what you mean about showing off. Surely you do things for you and not for approval of others? I have a nice house and a small selection of cars to drive but it’s for me and not to show off.

This.
The best things for me were being able to retire early, being able to travel and being able to help our two DS out. Being able to afford to go private when I need an op. That sort of thing.
Fortunately, DH is like me and has no desire to show off. We have what we need for what we want and there is plenty of happiness in that.
But if you want to show off, go ahead. Whatever makes you happy I guess.
I don't actually spend any time wondering how much money my friends and family have. We do have relatives who are much more flashy than us. I only see it on IG etc and I just like and move on. I'm not impressed by it really but I don't care if they do it.

Your money is yours to do with as you see fit. Just be mindful of the envious 'eat the rich' meatheads that will castigate you for having an 'inappropriate amount of wealth' or that you 'should be taxed much harder'.

While there is a trend of being competitively frugal, I think that there is a trend of showing off too. I think this when I regularly see very expensive cars on the roads that are probably bought on finance so not really affordable

Taste discussions aside, I just don't see the point? Do other people really care or pay attention? I have a couple of friends that won't stop posting Instagram stories with them next to the pool, food shots, beaches etc each time they go on holidays...I barely have time to watch the things I like, so yeah, I am not watching those surely. I just have zero interest in knowing how much money others have or spend, and I suspect there are a lot of people like me.

It's not reckless but it is shallow. If you enjoy those things because you like those things then that's fair enough but if your reason for having them is to show others how wealthy you are then that's a bit sad. You're looking for the external validation of others to acknowledge your success and wealth through your material possessions. And when anyone can really buy them, through credit etc, I don't really think they signify anything other than a need for others see you in a certain light.

Are you on social media? It’s full of people showing off what they’ve bought and it ranges from objects like designer handbags , experiences like holidays to plastic surgery procedures.

It really doesn’t. I’d be classed as new money and I would never ever consider behaving like the op does. Or thinking like her, as said up thread. Please don’t make stereotypical judgements, as you’re very wrong.

How very "non-U" 😂

Nice watch, shoes, coat etc? Fantastic. But not on a wet Saturday in Asda. You'll look odd. A restaurant or on a nice street with your tribe then it's ok. Having said that, Sarah Ferguson and her daughters have failed (imo)

I wonder if it's also a bit of a validation thing. Look at me, I've made it in life. They're seeking admiration and validation that they aren't completely worthless. If people comment, admire them, feel inspired by them perhaps, it externally raises self esteem. What's missing is the internal self esteem that doesn't require wealth or materialistic things.

Ridiculous. 'Visible enjoyment' (showing off) works for nobody except a show off. Enjoy your wealth but it's pretty tasteless to boast about it in person or online, regardless of which circles you move in. It doesn't validate anything except your own insecurity (and even then it doesn't validate it as nobody will care).