To think that if we’re making all this money but not showing it off… what’s the point?

Do you wonder why people avoid you?

“Pammy, is that yow…?”

Sorry but I despise boasting in any form and I’m constantly amazed how insensitive some of our friends can be in flaunting their wealth. We’ve used our wealth to invest in incredible art and do enjoy wonderful food and family holidays etc. I’d rather die than boast about this or show it off in any way.

I never ever buy any clothing or accessories with an obvious label. Can’t think of anything worse.

I really don’t think this is an issue at all these days.

The idea of being frugal, saving money and not flaunting your wealth is something I recognise from my parents generation, but I can’t say it’s something I’ve experienced in recent times.

for my parents, eating out at restaurants was a rare treat, now I can’t think a week goes by when I don’t eat out. They’d view my lifestyle as massively extravagant, but it’s pretty average.

my friends will often share excitement about a holiday, buying a new house, car, handbag ,..don’t think they’ve ever felt guilty or been made to feel guilty for it.

Better still both.

I want wealth for security and comfort, not to buy designer things that I can show off.

Ha! Organic chicken thighs have got terribly expensive since those chef types told us they have more flavour.

Yes, things.

he bought thighs???? what did he do with the rest of the animal?

if you are seeking validation from me because I have noticed your posh handbag, you'd wait a looooooong time. Similar with posting pics of your expensive car or posh holiday. I just don't notice.

I think you’ve answered your own question. Because people who ‘come from money’ wouldn’t even think about it. I come from a comfortable background and have never considered that conspicuous wealth is something to aspire to. I just, enjoy things. If I like a bag, I buy it. If we want to go skiing, we go. I’m not bothered whether other people notice my bag or know how much my holidays cost.

Maybe if I’d grown up feeling envious of other people, or somehow inferior, I’d feel differently.

I don't mind hearing about the fancy holidays/big house etc if it's interesting stuff. But I had a wealthy acquaintance once who just kept on and on about the thighs he bought in terms of the money they cost. That was just uncomfortable.

@Frenchfrychic ,

That’s what they tell themselves, but it isn’t true!

If it were true, a Hermes ad would be all about the quality of the leather, the stitching etc, and a Patek Phillipe ad would be all about the precision of the mechanism. Are they?

There is nothing ‘worth’ over £1,000 in any handbag. Nothing to ‘like’ over some far cheaper brands, other than the fact it is recognisable.

You have described what Instagram is!

Maybe you misunderstood, but few of them do that to show off, they do it as they like those things and can afford it.

I think the OP put it a bit crassly, but she is right!

Most people like to signify their wealth, it’s just that old money does it more subtly. It’s the Montblanc pen they illustrate something with, the Omega or Rolex watch, the cufflinks and the Church or the Crockett and Jones shoes (obviously I am talking men here) etc.

And maybe not a brand new car, but certainly a good make.

It is about compromise, saving enough, investing enough , but also enjoying your money a little.

Look at the way luxury brands advertise, it is generally less about function and a lot more about image. We all like to project a certain image. If that weren’t so, adverts would look a lot different!

Disagree with the op entirely!!
I’m not a millionaire but Dh and I have well paid jobs and aside from our savings and making provisions for our kids futures we do spend a lot. As it’s for our benefit I don’t feel the need to show it off - I benefit directly.
I mean saying that I did send my mum a photo of the beach a few weeks ago because it was beautiful and there was a turtle in the sea which i knew she would love but other than that I don’t think anyone (besides colleagues and our families) who knew we were on holiday. I certainly didn’t Instagram any of it!
Showing off is just looking for approval really. I don’t need anyone’s approval, I’m quite secure in myself and don’t want the intrusion of others judging my choice in decor, car, handbag, anything.

But surely this depends on what showing off means.
If you had a lovely meal with your family, went on a memorable holiday, doesn’t it count if it wasn’t on SM.
If you have wealth and you want to make the most of it, absolutely do so. I don’t know why this needs to be on social media though.

Depends on how much money you have I guess. I’m also putting my 4 children through university and they have all received/will receive way more than 100k at 18. I retired at 48 but I’ve also chosen to have a small fleet of cars to play with. 🤷‍♂️

I don't think there's anything wrong with having nice things and enjoying the spoils of your success. I wouldn't think twice about buying a nice bag or a nice car that I wanted because of what others would think. But at the same time, I don't think most people, including OP, mean that they are buying things to show off just that some success is quite visible. People talk a lot about quiet wealth but tbh it is hard to hide wealth - if you have a big house in a nice area, people know you're wealthy. I think key is just not to rub other people's faces in it and to talk about finances sensitively depending on the company you're in.

@TheTaupeMoose YABU. The "point" is to enjoy your wealth, not show it off (in fact, to do so overtly to people who may not be as financially comfortable as you would be positively crass). Sometimes, of course, the two may go hand-in-hand - if you have some expensive, beautiful possessions people may notice, but there's no need for you to explicitly draw attention to them.

I think that’s fairly unusual to be fair. And is the opposite to the op. Who is also fairly unusual, although as said earlier I don’t think the op is wealthy person by a long way, I think it’s someone who can afford a bit more than her parents did and wants nice things and to show them off.

But in relation to your post, many of us want security for ourselves, , security for our children but also more from life than our basic needs for survival met. To live comfortably, We want to live in a home we enjoy, to live in warmth and comfort, have experiences, be it theatre, music, meals out, to travel and experience the world; to travel and show our kids the world, and money allows us to do this, to have this.

im not impressed by money, likely as I now have it, and when I was young and poor with parents on benefits, I still wasn’t impressed by it , but I couldn’t understand how people had it, why my friends all,lived differently to us.

Nice houses, with nice furniture, and sweets for the kids, lots of toys, nice clothes, holidays. My young mind couldn’t understand why my parents lived in a run down council flat, could barely afford to feed us, a sandwich for dinner, and my clothes and shoes were all old and done in. But my basic needs were indeed met. I was fed, clothed and had a roof over my head, even though the council and government provided all of it. And now as a grown up. I sure as hell want more from life than my basic needs met, as I had that, and it was fairly shite.

I’ve just come into some money , and we already have a good income but it hasn’t always been like this. I’ve been at rock bottom ,struggled and we worked really hard while our kids were growing up , didn’t have anything nice for ourselves, kids were clothed but not much else. Husband worked his way up his company, long hours , sometimes not getting in until 11pm so we could pay the mortgage on a tatty house . Gradually life started to improve . I’m 60 now and all of a sudden we can move to a nice house and have a very good lifestyle , if I want a designer bag I can have one, (I have one 😂) have no debt , but you know what…., although I’m going to buy some nice furniture, clothes etc , I’m trying to keep as low profile as I can as showing it off when I have friends still struggling doesn't sit well with me at all . Money can go in an instant ,
it should be appreciated , I’d be happier my friends think of me as a nice kind person who would be there for them , rather than a rich friend who likes to show off what she’s got . I’d rather have my lovely genuine friends who are pleased for me thanks

I've never seen what the point is, which is why, beyond meeting my simple needs, I don't care about money and am not impressed by the having of it.

I didn't grow up with much. I see people visibly enjoying, theatre, concerts, great food and much of that isnt' cheap. Do I care if someone on the tube has a designer handbag? No, I wouldn't even notice. I do think its cheap to show off wealth with big labels etc just so tacky.

We're quite well off. I don't have any interest in designer stuff and don't post on social media very often. I don't tend to talk about it as we don't have many friends in the same position as us and I don't want to make other people feel bad or uncomfortable. We spend lots of holidays because they are wonderful, DD has been to lots of countries and adapts well to travel. We also spend a lot on her activities. We have two electric cars. I still buy from vinted because I think it is more ecological. I spend my money on clothes from ethical and sustainable brands because that's more important to me than a label. I spend more on vegan skincare and buy things in glass containers rather than plastic

I guess what I'm saying is money gives you choices. You can choose to show off (tacky) and focus on others perceptions of you if that is what you think is important.