To have expected to have spent the whole time together

2.5 hours to catch the last bit of daylight for some exercise over a whole weekend is nothing. Loads of people (like me) absolutely need a minimum amount of fresh air and exercise for their mental health. I’d be pissed off if a partner tried to deny me that.

Did you tell him that you’d prefer him not to go?

If you had bought him exercise equipment, he might have thought he was doing a good thing by showing you that your gift wasn’t being wasted.

I think you need to communicate better rather than expect him to magically understand what you want and how his behaviour will make you feel.

Absolutely this. You don't sound needy at all but neglected!

What are you getting out of this relationship OP?

If he does it every other day, then it is part of his routine. I don't see the problem.

What’s good about the relationship OP? It sounds pretty draining to me. You seem to be doing all the hard lifting whilst he does just enough to keep you hooked.

It's somewhat crazy that expecting a tiny portion of the weekend to be spent doing something either of her choice or benefit is seen as needy. Whereas him wanting his partner to go to his Christmas party even when she's ill is totally breezy and fine...

Op, why are you being so careful not to "burden" him with your problems right now? It seems like you're having a pretty crap time of things, if you can't even share your feelings and worries that seems like a bad sign. Is he normally like this?

Has he ever actually prioritised you op, at a time it wasn’t super convenient for him? Watch out for a one sided relationship.

Ridiculous to expect him to babysit you the whole weekend. Being clingy is a massive negative in a relationship.

It does all sound very one sided to me, with you putting in all the effort. You've got such a lot going on.

I'm shocked at people saying he was being unreasonable.
If I've been with my husband Friday night, Saturday then by Sunday morning I'll be running out the door for a bit space and fresh air.
Being there for someone isn't being physically attached to them the whole time all weekend, that's not what a healthy relationship is at all.
2.5 hours out of 48+ is perfectly reasonable even in sad times, we all need to have some time to ourselves.

I'm pretty sure if someone came on here and said their partners came for the weekend and didn't want them to be apart the whole time which included missing exercise routines then all the ladies would have a lot to say about that.

If I hadn't seen my partner for three weeks and I had from 5.30 until whenever the gym closed on Sunday I would exercise after they left, not before. Assuming I liked my partner, of course.

It doesn't sound like you get much from the relationship.

This? - exercise Is good for mental health!
By the sounds of it you both need it.
hopefully him going to exercise meant he was in a better frame of mind to have some nice quality time with you? Was this the case.

Did he know you’d be leaving at 5.30pm? If he did, that is definitely shit of him.
Also, how come you travel to him a couple of times a week and yet he only travels to you once a fortnight?
You went to his work do and went shopping because he wanted you to, even though you probably didn’t feel well enough, so it doesn’t sound as if it’s a very balanced relationship to me.
Just out of interest, how old are you both and how long have you been ‘together’?

Can I gently ask who has told you that you tend to overreact? As someone who has just divorced a man of extreme selfishness, the weekend you've described is one where your partner made no adjustments to his plans at all despite you being unwell. It's not really a question of what's "reasonable", OP. It's a question of what you need and want out of a supportive and loving relationship, and whether this person is providing that or not.

TBH I don't think it matters what we think: it matters what you want.

If he isn't meeting your needs then what's the point of a relationship? (same as if you weren't meeting his needs).

Are you happy for this to be a super casual thing then shrugs no biggie but if you want more I'd tell him that you'd like to feel a bit more prioritized next time.

If he's not ok with that then that's the end of things. Probably better neither of you are wasting your time.

He doesn't seem that into you. I would be reassessing this relationship. Hope you feel better soon. You were not expecting too much at all. Ignore those with low bars.

Long distance relationship, they only see one another every 3 weeks for a weekend...

He sounds a bit self centred to me. You went to visit him even though you weren't feeling great, you made the effort to socialise with his work friends...and in return, he drags you around shopping, and leaves you on your own for 2.4 hours just before you go home, then accuses you of not supporting his exercise when you question it? Unless he did something amazing for you in between these times (breakfast in bed, made you home made healing comfort food, downloaded your favourite film to watch etc) it very much sounds to me like he carries on doing everything he wants and you put yourself out for him but he doesn't reciprocate. Sorry OP

Hmmmm.
How long have you been together OP?

I ask because i'm trying to put myself in your shoes and imagine how i'd have felt if DH had behaved that way when we were still at the not-living-together stage.

Honestly - that stage for us was 2 years long - we would have spent 90% of the time in bed together and fuck work parties or exercise routines! When he or i were ill we'd cuddle up together and watch tv with hot drinks.

We are all different - but with the above in mind you don't seem cherished by him in my opinion. I think he behaved as if his life went on as usual and you happened to be there too.

💐💐💐💐

In and of itself I couldn't get worked up about him going out to exercise; I don't really understand why it's so important that you must spend three hours plus together before parting rather than just one. Having said that he does sound a bit selfish, but I wouldn't jump straight to 'LEAVE HIM' as is being suggested. He might just be oblivious to the fact that the weekend wasn't all you wanted it to be. So there's no need for deep soul-searching yet, the first to do is to tell him, in the moment, that he's being a bit of an arse, rather than telling MN after the event.

Oh run now. I had one like this, also long distance and if it was not on his terms it did not happen and that was with everything in the end. Started off like this and just snowballed until either it was his way or the highway and I am so so glad I took the highway. Literally.

If you're not well you shouldn't have expected to see him at all - why risk passing it on?

Everything is on his terms, it seems to me. I would get rid, personally. Given that you don't see each other much, he should want to be with you when you are together. Also, as others have said, another selfish man.

You don't have to be joined at the hip but you're unwell, you went to his, you went to his work do (which he wanted to do), you trekked around the shops with him (which he wanted to do), and then 3 1/2 hours befors you went home, he fucked off for 2 1/2 hours to exercise on his own (which he wanted to do, and you couldn't, because you're unwell). He did precisely what he wanted all weekend then, didn't he? Doesn't sound great.