To not take my 3 and 5 year olds to restaurants

Whilst you might not want to, but maybe try McDonalds or similar where food is quick to start.

Practice at home and instil good manners there. I wouldn't expect a puppy to behave well in such an over stimulating environment. Build up the time gradually at home.

In the meantime stay well away from cafes and restaurants until they can behave properly, as I would with a young dog. It's not fair on the other clients or the staff.

Do they behave better separately? Mine are much worse together. They argue, whine that they don’t want to sit together etc etc.
The 3yr old expects immediate service so complains loudly that his food still hasn’t arrived and the 5yr old just grumps about everything. Mine don’t have tablets but if they did there’s no way I’d be letting them have them at the table.

I have noticed that the nicer the restaurant, the better they behave. The music levels in some places are too high and my 3yr old just can’t help but start dancing 🫣. Eyes closed, arms in the air like he’s at a drugged up 90s rave. It’s funny but quite embarrassing sometimes.

OP if it’s stressful to take them then just don’t do it. As someone said earlier, most of us weren’t taken out for meals as kids, and most of us manage to be civilised as adult in restaurants.

We simply never took Gds to restaurants - unless it was a pub garden in summer - until he was at least 4, maybe coming up to 5. He was something of a human hurricane and simply couldn’t sit once he’d eaten - he had to be on the move.
There was never the same issue with his sisters. I only had dds, no issue there either, but having often heard similar from friends with little boys, I do think it’s so often a ‘boy thing’.

Some kids are like that. I had one well behaved and one unable to sit still. Made it easy for everyone and stayed away from restaurants until they were older, or went to restaurants with outdoor play areas so kids could run around and play. We still have a rule that it's ok to use a device whilst waiting for the food to arrive, once food is on the table all devices go away. It's not reasonable to expect high energy kids to sit still for long

No you're not unreasonable to stay away if this is a situation causing necessary stress. I have children the same age and we don't routinely eat in restaurants. If you have to for some reason just pick an environment where it's a bit more relaxed, no 5* dining 😂

You could definitely try and practice and build up their tolerance, maybe a cake and a drink rather than a meal. Also though, I think it's really important to normalise the fact that lots of children just aren't developmentally ready to sit for long periods, quietly and super still. Some children do manage it but the ones that don't aren't "naughty" they're just children. I think it's totally fine to swerve whilst your kids are young, where is the value in putting yourselves through it

We went through a stage where we wouldn’t take ours to cafes or supermarkets- probably at similar ages to yours. The behaviour wasn’t outrageous- they weren’t running about the place or climbing on furniture but they were just a bit too excitable and a bit too loud. We would have to spend the whole time engaging them and trying to get them to be quieter and I realised it wasn’t particularly relaxing for us so we just stopped doing it until they were a bit older and calmer.

I started mine off where chairs couldn’t be moved, there was nothing on the table and no cutlery was provided (McD’s). Gradually we moved on to pizzerias etc.

How are they at sitting at the table at home? Are they allowed down as soon as they have finished?

Maybe practice waiting a bit longer at home first?

Some kids are like that. I had one well behaved and one unable to sit still. Made it easy for everyone and stayed away from restaurants until they were older, or went to restaurants with outdoor play areas so kids could run around and play. We still have a rule that it's ok to use a device whilst waiting for the food to arrive, once food is on the table all devices go away. It's not reasonable to expect high energy kids to sit still for long

We've never done screens at tables. For us it has been a case of taking things that keep them busy - toy cars, games, etc - having the same behaviour expectations at home (we eat all meals together and expect good behaviour) and eating out frequently since they were tiny.

Eat at home then?

Is anyone pleading with you to take them to restaurants?

Not unreasonable, and thank you for recognising that they’re not ready yet! Many of us grew up never going to restaurants or pubs and we still managed to learn how to behave at social events, before anyone comes on and says “but how will the poor darlings learn to behave if never given the opportunity”.

We don’t do screen time in restaurants either. I think it’s just about practice. Maybe take them somewhere where it doesn’t feel pressured whilst they’re still learning how to behave, somewhere like Wetherspoons etc, I wouldn’t avoid entirely.