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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find it hard to adjust to this kind of home?

211 replies

Firefumes · 08/12/2025 00:20

I recently viewed some houses, where the front door/windows are right at pavement level. So people walking past the house can easily see in, if you were unlocking the front door, others would be directly behind you if they walk past. Aibu to feel this is a bit unsafe?

I’m sure many people manage okay. It’s just that I have had my own apartment for a few years. It’s a nice apartment complex with restricted access, gated entry, concierge so feels safe. I’m also on the 2nd floor. So I feel risk of theft or break ins are low.

Previously I lived with my friends at university, and before that I lived with my parents. My parent’s house has a long, steep driveway and a porch. Their front door isn’t accessible at street/pavement level to passers by, you’d have to take the stairs. As a result, they’ve never had any bother from strangers and their house feels safe. Was no bother leaving parcels in the porch as they were covered from street view.

But something about the houses I viewed recently, just felt unsafe. Like they were too accessible to members of the public, people just naturally end up in close proximity and able to see inside. Aibu to write these off for that reason?

OP posts:
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JG24 · 08/12/2025 08:26

I had that same experience years ago,
Had lived in various flats for about 8 years and then temporarily moved into a terrace right on the street. It used to really unnerve me when I saw people straight outside the window
I didn't stay long enough to get used to it, but definitely know what you mean.

Whatsthatsheila · 08/12/2025 08:25

BringBackCatsEyes · 08/12/2025 08:23

They have them in the south too!

ahh well I guess OP walks round with eyes shut then. Probably a rage bait post

id say the biggest concern is traipsing dog shit directly into your living room if you didn’t notice you stepped in it

snoopythebeagle · 08/12/2025 08:23

SweetnsourNZ · 08/12/2025 08:04

Is that like the ones in Coronation Street. I live in New Zealand and we don't have that style here. I always wonder how they get parcels, but assumed you would get them sent to a local PO. Would also think it would be tempting for children to knock on random doors and run away. Though they do that here anyway.

They get parcels in the same way anyone else does.

BringBackCatsEyes · 08/12/2025 08:23

Whatsthatsheila · 08/12/2025 08:20

If they’ve never ventured into the cold, dark reaches of the kingdom of the north they’ll not be familiar with the rows and rows of normal housing stock

They have them in the south too!

BringBackCatsEyes · 08/12/2025 08:22

RandomNewIdentity · 08/12/2025 08:14

It will take some getting used to but I doubt it's unsafe.
People staring in is an issue. I keep the front room tidy, no obvious valuables, and don't wander around naked in there. Also close the curtain at night, which is most of when I used it.
An upstairs flat in a good block is about as safe as you'll ever get, and feels that way too, so maybe consider that if you're nervous

In my village the FB posts about opportunist break ins happen to the more isolated properties, and ones with outbuildings.
It would be a bold robber to bash the door or window in, in a row of houses where someone is very, very likely to see.

Whatsthatsheila · 08/12/2025 08:20

SemperIdem · 08/12/2025 00:55

I’m a bit confused - this sounds like an entirely normal style of house?

Edited

If they’ve never ventured into the cold, dark reaches of the kingdom of the north they’ll not be familiar with the rows and rows of normal housing stock

lechatnoir · 08/12/2025 08:19

This is the bizarrest thread - I grew up privileged but am of course aware that millions of people live very happily in bog standard terrace houses like this. When I landed in a northern city for uni this is exactly the type of house I lived in and even then didn’t give it a thought.

driveways and garages aren’t your usual first time purchase and in a city, many people will never own a house with these.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 08/12/2025 08:18

All those posters telling the OP she doesn't know her own privilege are giving her exactly what she wants.

Faux naiveté is one of my absolute bugbears on places like this, there is absolutely zero way that the OP has never come across a perfectly standard form of housing, it may not be to her taste but there is nothing wrong with it. Some of the quaintest Victorian cottages I've been in have been terraced like this, and they're highly sought after due to their character and central location.

Sure, if the area you live in has the propensity to be a little rough then it may be different, but plenty aren't.

But don't feed this kind of bullshit. The OP knows perfectly well places like this exist, and just wants to be told how upper middle she is, how successful she must be in her 20ies etc etc. Otherwise what on earth is the point of the post?

RandomNewIdentity · 08/12/2025 08:14

It will take some getting used to but I doubt it's unsafe.
People staring in is an issue. I keep the front room tidy, no obvious valuables, and don't wander around naked in there. Also close the curtain at night, which is most of when I used it.
An upstairs flat in a good block is about as safe as you'll ever get, and feels that way too, so maybe consider that if you're nervous

PinpointWeekend · 08/12/2025 08:12

We used to live in a terrace, albeit with a small front garden. One of my children’s young friends came round and looked with genuine curiosity and said, ‘is this a terraced house?’ His question was innocent of course. I would expect an adult to have more rounded knowledge of housing stock though!

SweetnsourNZ · 08/12/2025 08:10

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 08/12/2025 07:56

Rows upon rows of that type of house where I live. Some are standard 2 up 2 down with a back yard (those are the posh ones because they had individual toilets in the yards so now room to extend) or proper back to backs when you only have the one front door and another house built directly on the back of you. I live in an old northern cotton mill and mining town.

Don't like the sound of the back to back idea, with only one door, but I suppose no different to a flat or apartment in the end. It would suit certain budgets and lifestyles though.

PinpointWeekend · 08/12/2025 08:10

In terms of feeling safe, give me a London terrace any day. I would be more scared of living in a big house in a rural setting with a long driveway and no neighbours nearby. Perhaps that’s because I have always lived in cities and it is what you are used to.

BringBackCatsEyes · 08/12/2025 08:07

SweetnsourNZ · 08/12/2025 08:04

Is that like the ones in Coronation Street. I live in New Zealand and we don't have that style here. I always wonder how they get parcels, but assumed you would get them sent to a local PO. Would also think it would be tempting for children to knock on random doors and run away. Though they do that here anyway.

Parcels are delivered in the normal way. Knock on the door. No one in, leave with a neighbour or a ‘safe space’.
Never had a single child knock on the door for fun. Never had any privacy invaded or felt unsafe.
No one IRL has remarked on the fact I live in such a house.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 08/12/2025 08:06

Firefumes · 08/12/2025 01:00

To be clearer it’s a house without a driveway nor front garden, as in the doorstep is the pavement.

There’s 1000’s of houses like that round here. It’s a normal style of house! I lived in one like that for years. It was all l could afford ( expensive house price area)

SweetnsourNZ · 08/12/2025 08:04

BringBackCatsEyes · 08/12/2025 01:40

There are literally millions of homes like this. There’s no “managing” or having to adjust, you just get on with your life.
I have lived in such a home for 30 years. Most of my street is the same, as is large parts of the village.

Is that like the ones in Coronation Street. I live in New Zealand and we don't have that style here. I always wonder how they get parcels, but assumed you would get them sent to a local PO. Would also think it would be tempting for children to knock on random doors and run away. Though they do that here anyway.

RampantIvy · 08/12/2025 08:03

The way some posters are describing a commonplace terraced house make me chuckle.
"Coronation Street" houses 😁

I live in Yorkshire. There are loads of this type of house in every town. It isn't worthy of comment.

PinpointWeekend · 08/12/2025 08:02

It’s one thing to have never lived in a house like this. It’s quite another to be so shocked and horrified at their existence. Quite an irritating attitude really.

Ginmonkeyagain · 08/12/2025 08:00

Re:nets a lot of houses in London have plantation shutters. These offer privacy while letting light in.

PigeonsandSquirrels · 08/12/2025 07:59

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 08/12/2025 00:24

You can choose not to buy any type of house you don't want to buy.

however, you can only buy what you can afford, so what else is within your budget? Probably not a house like your parents.

My house opens onto the street and was £1m+😂 Even some expensive houses have the dreaded street access doors

Rora24 · 08/12/2025 07:59

I understand the unease around privacy however I also know this is the norm for many area and people don't bat an eyelid at it.

My advice - rent an Airbnb for a night or two in this style in and see how you feel.

TheAlcott · 08/12/2025 07:58

I agree that everyone has to make the decisions that feel safest for them, but the unthinking privilege on this thread is really mindblowing.

Millions and millions of people in the UK live perfectly happily in these houses and in many areas they are very much sought-after!

tuvamoodyson · 08/12/2025 07:58

Maybe don’t view these type of houses then OP.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 08/12/2025 07:56

Rows upon rows of that type of house where I live. Some are standard 2 up 2 down with a back yard (those are the posh ones because they had individual toilets in the yards so now room to extend) or proper back to backs when you only have the one front door and another house built directly on the back of you. I live in an old northern cotton mill and mining town.

sunshine244 · 08/12/2025 07:56

I live in a village where there are huge numbers of houses like this. It makes me feel much safer because there's nowhere for people to hide in the garden, porch etc. When there was a spate of burglaries it was the ones with more gardens that were targeted. I have been in lots of the houses and aboht half are upside down I.e. living room at the top - which i prefer.

Wish44 · 08/12/2025 07:56

I understand op. Due to a change in financial circumstances I have had to move from a house that was very private and away from road to a house right on the street . This was a year ago and I still find it unnerving. I am sitting on my sofa and people are walking right by my window.

i have put the reflective foil up and that is good.

in my house the kitchen is at the back and there is a garden. This feels much more private - even though it is surrounded on all sides.

i try and give my head a wobble - because presumably I am actually safer here where I am always visible? If something happened to me here others would see and hear and help. In my private idyl no one would have heard me scream!