To think monogamy is outdated and unrealistic?

You are being unreasonable.

For starters, 'monogamy' just means one partner at a time, so you could switch out partners every decade and still be practising monogamy.

Secondly, not everyone finds the idea of having sex with someone they don't know or trust, and who isn't familiar with their body, or their likes and dislikes, to be appealing.

Thirdly, there are risks that come with casual sex, some of which are more intensified now - (incurable) STIs that are very widespread, men who are more likely to strangle, hit, or demand painful sex acts, sex that simply isn't overly pleasurable as your partner doesn't know your body, and so on.

And finally, a lot of people get both variety and stability with monogamy. They have the variety early on in life while they're more open to risk-taking, while seeking a partner. They figure out what they like or don't like in the process, and then engage in what they like with their eventual partner from then on, with the benefit of love, familiarity, practice, and intimacy.

If you like the idea of casual sex, go for gold, but unless you're shagging multiple men within the same period of time, you're still technically monogamous.

Periods of monogamy are realistic.

And I think that's what most people aim for.

I don't know anyone who got married at 20. I also don't know anyone who has lived to 95.

To each their own though. As long as you're honest about it.

this

So having sex with random men is modern and practical?

I would much rather not, thank you.

I much prefer sec in a committed relationship to any ONS. I never enjoyed any of them of got much pleasure from them. My sexual partners are in single digits because sleeping around wasn’t for me. I have been with my husband for 18 years and hopefully till death us do part.

It's entirely down to personal choice. Just be honest and don't promise monogamy if it's not for you.

I’ve had one ons - no desire to do that again.

dh is a loving partner, great I’m bed, happy to wash the clothes… I’ll stick with him thanks. I look around and there’s just no one who comes close.

Urrrgh. If DH died or did a runner, I’d be happy never to have sex or live with a man again. And we have a lovely relationship and a good sex life.

The things DH and I have gone through together, both good and bad, mean it is difficult to imagine being with someone else. I'd constantly be comparing them to DH and I know I would find them dull in comparison. DH is also the only other person in the world as interested in our children as I am.

No one has to have one partner for life. I went around the block plenty before settling down but never cheated on anyone and am as sure as I can be after 25 years together and at same age as you that I won’t want anyone else as long as DH is alive and still wants to be with me. So you do what’s right for you as long as you’re honest with your partner and break up first, and don’t reframe the whole of humanity as non-monogamous just because you’re not into it any more.

monogamy Yes
one partner for life No

Not sure about 20-95 element. I think most people mature alot between 20 and 30. Most failed relationship I know are couples who got together really young and one matured more than the other or at leaat quicker.

I think when you are with the right person, monogamy is easy.

Marraige or a commited relationship isn't for everyone but some people find it difficult to recognise it's not for them.

YANBU to have that opinion but it is your opinion and your views.
Personally myself and DH are in a long term committed relationship and we are very happy. No plans to move away from this. We are not outdated or unrealistic, we are committed to each other.

If other people view relationships differently that's their business and their opinion.

To each their own. Can’t think of anything worse than a ons

For some it works, for others it doesn't. Just like anything, there is no blanket truth to apply.

It’s still perfectly feasible and I think a surprising number of people still have one partner and a great life.

I suppose I’m a serial monogamist, have been married twice and about to do it again, I’m always faithful in a committed relationship but have had some fairly crazy times otherwise. Have had good times on both situations but definitely get more frequent sex in relationships.