Does anyone have weekends like this anymore?

Everyone uses their free time differently. For us we like to be out and about every weekend because that’s how we best like to use our free time. The type of weekend you’ve described is how we would spend the time between Christmas and new year but not how we would spend every weekend, no. For us a quiet weekend is something we pre plan and look forward to after a particularly busy time of being out and about. I am looking forward to the time after Christmas so we can just sit in bed do nothing but until then we are busy every week.

There’s no right or wrong way as long as you’re spending time with your children and not ignoring them imo.

Social media isn’t real though, people post the best parts of their lives so I wouldn’t over think that.

Batty? How? Because a good few posters are of the same view.

And yes, if the tone of a poster in any of the above scenarios that you mentioned smacked of smugness, then yes, I would be calling that out too. If they were worded without any level of smugness then I wouldn't call it out.

People have the right to respond. Why should anybody pipe back down into their box if they feel like calling out a trait they don't like?

I don't have to abide by a rule whereby I enable a trait and allow it to flourish.

The OP did read a bit like a cosy instagram video cut to some Christmassy ballad in written form, let's face it 😅

Some people are so unhappy and bitter in their own circumstances that through their warped lens, anyone else’s happiness is interpreted as “boasting,” “humblebragging” or “privileged.” Shall we start calling them out, too?

That isn't the issue.

The issue is using an audience as bait with one aim of validation. That applies to real life also. Arrogance is the parent trait of smug and nobody wants to be around an arrogant person.

In addition, your suggestion of "keep scrolling" is pie in the sky. The OP had the right to post her smug post, and likewise, people have the right to respond.

Batty.

I don’t think she sounded smug, but either way no one is forced to read a stranger’s comment on the internet, let alone to overreact to it.

Should obese people not post in case it saddens people who are hungry? Should pregnancy threads be deleted lest they sound “smug” to the infertile? Should job woes be banned out of consideration for the unemployed?

People are free to scroll on by.

People are also free to read and call out slightly tactless humblebragging when they see it. Its a public town square.

And enough of us felt it was a bit smug to suggest it wasn’t just overthinking.

Yes. Some weekend are busy and some are like yours. This weekend we done very little but slouch about the house.

Talk about overthinking.

People are free to scroll on by. Expecting every poster to dumb down their comments in case they make someone with a different lifestyle feel sad is absurd.

It wasn’t an overt brag. It was a subtle attempt to get people to make validating comments.

The language was chosen in such a way that it was designed to make people congratulate OP on her “simple, cosy” life and her family. Its was very deliberately targeted at a particular kind of Mumsnet sensibility.

Its not the worst crime. But in a world where people are struggling to feed their families, where people are struggling with illness, bankruptcy, loneliness and worse, positioning this very comforting picture as being somehow wanting because it wasn’t Instagrammable was tone deaf and ill judged. I don’t think OP deserves a kicking for it but I wish people would think a bit more about how these sorts of humblebrags land.

It sounds like a normal weekend. Many people would have done similar, they just don't post it on SM because it's normal. Most people would only do pictures and posts if it was something special.

I agree.

It reminds of a time where a pregnant friend of mine nearly made my brain dribble out of my ear going on about how her friend couldnt wait to meet her new baby.

Friend then made a smug drama out of it by declaring, "I don't want her coming around so soon and ruining the bond with my baby's daddy, so I text her back and said we need time to bond as a family, I will let you know when you can visit".

Seriously! Since when did an hour's visit from a friend interupt the developmental blueprint of a baby's neuro or cognitive potential!

I wouldn't mind, but her husband is a useless lump who does sod all, to this day!

I think it could also be seen as an invitation to criticise those posting their Instagram weekends as fake/false etc compared to the OP's wholesome weekend. To me it comes over as simultaneously self-satisfied and judgmental of others. As I said previously though, I'm a cynic and understand that others interpret it differently.

My weekend involved making Christmas baubles with DS (he's an older child with SEND). He enjoyed sticking on coloured tissue paper to decorate them.

We watched Christmas films and I made him a playlist of his favourite Christmas songs.

In the evening we went for a drive in the car to see the Christmas lights. He enjoyed a Mcflurry from McDonald's.

He gets too overwhelmed by huge Christmas events, but I enjoy family time at home with him.

Of course, both can indeed co-exist.

But the level of detail she went into had one objective and that was to brag.

It was smarmy, inconsiderate and used an audience as bait by portraying herself as less intelligent than she really was by asking if her weekend was a good one, knowing full well it was a depiction of a Christmas advert.

People are not stupid and can see people's intentions from a mile away.

That doesn't wash with me and I am the type of person who calls people out on agendas.

I don’t get the impression that OP is bragging at all. We have obviously interpreted OPs post differently. She was concerned that she wasn’t doing enough with her child compared to those she has seen on social media. To insinuate that she wrote the post while cruelly forgetting about people going through something difficult is a bit much, I’m pretty sure that was not the intention. I actually do have friends going through cancer treatment at the moment and worry deeply about this… but still question if I am doing the best for my child etc, these thoughts can coexist!

Come on? You know why.

I was single for seven years and smug couples drove me crazy with their "We went to Ikea together and bought wicker for our new conservatory, then took a stroll hand in hand with a hot chocolate alongs the banks of the river in London".

Never, in a million years would I be smug. People get sick, they die, they can leave you and life can happen

It is arrogant to assume we own a permanent state of bliss. We don't. We are assured of three things in life; death, taxes and change.

That is precisely why people do not want to be an audience for smug people, because they seem to think the above three life gaurantees do not apply to them.

Also - as I said we're busier in December and we do like to do lots of Christmassy events in the run up - I like being out and about, it's easier with DD often, and I do like all the different occasions and doing activities that mark them. But that doesn't mean it's all the expensive, social-media friendly stuff. There's a middle ground between Winter Wonderland and staying at home in your PJs.

Our local (Local Authority owned, not National Trust) historic house does a really cute Elf Trail, which costs about £3. The lights walk we're going on it a local garden and cost less than £10 each. We go to the garden centre to look at their decorations and get a slice of cake and a hot chocolate. Or we have tickets to a kids performance at the local theatre, that's a bit more spendy but not compared to the city centre type ones. Not Christmas but another example, often much maligned on here, when we go 'pumpkin picking' it's a local farm that does it to raise money for charity, it's £10 per car and no obligation to spend any money beyond that, it's just a nice morning in the fresh air and different scenery honestly.

I know all those things are still money, and we're very lucky we can manage to do them because we do enjoy them. But it's not all the really showy, expensive stuff. I was in the queue for Lapland UK tickets way back in March, then had a sanity check of 'we can't actually afford this - or we can, but it would stop us doing other things that would actually be better value for our family right now' so I stopped. Friends went and had a magical time though, and good for them - I'm happy with what we're doing.

But how can you not understand?

I also had a lovely weekend with my partner doing simple things. Things that fill me with contentment.

However, I am not smug. The amount of people out there who are mourning death anniversaries, or who have split up with somebody, or whose child has cancer is and should be sobering for all of us.

The OP's post was such a level of detail depicting a postcard Festive and cozy bond with her family, that it gave no consideration to those who are struggling with lonliness.

To come out publically and paint a rosy picture and then have the neck to look for validation on it, is tunnel visioned, smarmy and insults other people.

I am not sewn to my partner. And any cozy nights in that we do have, doesn't result in me bragging about it to others in a bid to lift myself up to be above everybody else on the happiness scale.

Why??

Your weekend sounds lovely OP perfect!

Just don't judge yourself by what others are doing.

Some people do like to spend loads on Winter Wonderland (which my teens are going to with their fellow teens - it's my idea of hell) and so on. Good for them. So long as you're leading a nice life and are happy - so what?

OP, if you're still reading this - even if your original post was made in good faith, it's probably good for you to learn that, even with the best will in the world, most people will read the kind of language you used as self-congratulatory and performative.

I don’t understand why you are getting such a hard time OP!!! Honestly you did nothing wrong ignore those saying you are bragging! Your weekend sounds lovely. Same as you here - one DD aged 7. I admit we are usually busier but certainly not with visits to Lapland etc! More so with parties this time of year. This weekend was so relaxed, we had friends over Friday evening, Saturday helped the in laws with their tree and Sunday we did the weekly shop… the rest of the time we watched Xmas movies and lazed around on the couch in our comfies! It was bliss! I enjoy the calmness of one, take comfort in it and being able to provide your DC with time together xx

Edited to add - remember most people won’t Instagram relaxed weekends like this, they will post when they are on holiday and out etc so it’s likely not a true reflection of their day to day life!

Reading this as a working separated parent who is either without the kids some weekends and feeling lonely, or firefighting the kids on my own (this weekend while all of us were ill), this post has got me down . Think nuggets instead of roasts. Think screens as we weren't well enough for crafting, and besides, we don't have room for a trampoline in our tiny garden anyway. I'd say count your blessings, and remember home life is cramped and limited for many., so maybe they get out when they can, as it's easier and nicer.