Does anyone have weekends like this anymore?

Mumsnet is an anonymous forum. I could post here about how I just won the Nobel prize and got voted the most beautiful and wonderful woman in Europe, and it would remain meaningless because there’s no name, no face. I can’t advertise myself when there’s no identity to advertise. Unlike Instagram, which is all about self-advertising.

All I gathered from the OP was that she had had a nice, undemanding winter weekend and then she opened bloody Instagram and got a bit of mild FOMO from posts about people taking their kids trekking up Everest or flying the family to Dubrovnik while immaculately dressed or whatever. It’s just an example of how social media can undermine people’s confidence in their own preferences and choices.

And I didn’t detect any particular smugness about the OP, she was just asking for people’s thoughts - and then got some pretty sour responses.

You're criticising people for posting online about their (you think fake) perfect lives while congratulating the OP for posting online about (quoting you) her perfect weekend.

I need to be out and about. Not necessarily ding expensive things but would at least be out walking or something. Sounds like a lot of films!

Nope. Perhaps I’m just thick. I await your more sophisticated analysis.

If course people have weekends like that. Those weekends are lovely. This weekend was a rushed nightmare, kids shows, birthday parties and a planned trip to see Santa that I wouldn't have booked if I'd known about the other things. Even with that though that was only 3-4 hours each day. Then we did crafts, painted, watched Xmas movies, built dens, decorated Xmas cookies etc etc. I like to go out somewhere each day, in summer that's house at parks and forests, in winter it's often I door play areas, kids days outs, museums, cafes etc.

Can you honestly not see how ironic this is?

Get off Instagram! Instagram is mostly totally fake - people showing off or making out their lives are far more glamorous than the reality. I just feel sorry for people who feel the need to create fake online images of themselves.

Your weekends on the other hand sound perfect - relaxed, authentic - exactly how weekends are meant to be.

Oh bless you. Thank you.

Segue. I am sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time @Thepeopleversuswork. I always find your posts so well articulated and sensible. Hope things get better for you.

Agreed. It's a very big tell when the "question" posed by the OP is not really a question at all.

"Am I unusual?" "Anyone else do this?" "I like this thing and am not planning to change my mind, is that ok?"

That care what others do ?

You do you ,why do private what others do ?

Quite true. But with respect, the fact that you miss not so subtle subtext evidently would be a concern for me, if that was me.

The “positioning” is in the eye of the beholder.

1000% this, and the fact that you had to expand on your own personal experience in order for people to see a lot of people's gripes with the OP's post is frustrating

Calling people "bitter" because they offer any kind of critique of someone else is a real cheap shot. It's a way of closing down an open discussion and a reliable indicator that the person making the accusation has nothing better to say.

I'm very open that I found this post hard to read: I'm about to lose my job and will probably default on my mortgage so I'm (literally) working seven days a week, eight hours a day in order to pay the bills. I can't get overly excited in Christmas planning because I don't have any money and I don't have time to spend on my DD. It's going to be a really tough year for me and my family.

I have no problem with people celebrating their good fortune and happiness. What irritates me (and many others by the sounds of it) is the dishonesty: positioning this as "I'm not doing well enough for my child", when everything in the post is designed to conjure up a kind of Hallmark cards image of a perfect family Christmas.

The OP can post what she wants, and I'm at pains to say I don't think her post is awful. But I do think if she genuinely wants people to pity her for not being able to be in Lapland or at Disney World or whatever, she can't in the same breath post the most self-satisfied and detailed description of what many would consider the perfect family weekend.

It was just smug and insensitive. Lots of people found this.

No, it didn't. It was peppered with unneccessary detail for it to be that.

The post went into detail about crackling fires and then further went on to question why people don't do this more often.

All that was missing was "It's a Wonderful Life" on a large 80" screen in the background or her husband of the year roasting chesnuts on an open fire.

Nobody wants to be assaulted with visual wankery, and then worse, select a broad audience that undoubtedly comprise of people going through lonely times by asking, "Hey, how does my weekend sound, was it good or should I have given the pork crackling longer in the oven?".

Pancakes, colouring, trampoline, tv, etc all jumped out to me as low / no-cost ways to entertain the kids.

We're the same in winter... this weekend was an exception. a kids birthday party and a pub lunch. The kids said 'can next weekend just be us'. yup.

Your weekend sounds lovely, it’s how we spent most weekends as kids. Problem I have is that one of my three children would be fine with that kind of weekend, the other two need an absolute tone of outdoor exercise/ play to be remotely able to enjoy a chilled film/baking/colouring type weekend. A half hour trip to the playground will never cut it, it has to be several hours minimum of outdoor walking/running/climbing/ paddling in streams etc etc. I find it quite exhausting, but we do that most weekend mornings, and then stand a chance at a chilled out afternoon. I don’t think most people are doing the instagram thing all the time- this time of year it’s more of a special treat, which is fine sometimes too.

That's surprising since the focus was definitely on the simplicity and not on the frugality

Unhappy and bitter? I am in a good relationship, whereby we put our tree up this weekend, had our dog bouncing around, had a lovely roast and had a beer or two. That was after a nice morning with my OH's parents.

Guess what, I didn't feel the need to make any public opinion poll about it asking others if my weekend was good or look for anybody to plump up my smug feathers.

I, and all other non-smuggers know that it is arrogant and disingenious to ask others to stroke my smug ego!

It read to me like a list of frugal ways to pass the time if one hasn’t much money.

Yep. I read it and thought 1) ‘that does sound lovely though’ and 2) ‘it’s going to be a thread full of people saying how perfect and wholesome it sounds, how nobody needs these tacky big events that are shit anyway and everyone is only doing it for social media likes anyway. The OPs way is much better etc etc.

And it did read a bit like it was supposed to elicit those sorts of responses, so I can understand where the ‘smug’ accusations are coming from, but if the OP says they weren’t intended then prepared to believe it’s my defensiveness as someone who quite likes a ‘tacky’ event and occasionally posts about it on social media