To be absolutely devastated ex moved on so quick

A lot of us know what you’re going through. There’s a lot of scenarios like yours on MN.

Get yourself out there girl, organise cheap or free activities, anything physical and out of doors will help. Come the summer you’ll be into new routines and probably feeling a lot better.

This is all new and raw at present but I can tell you, it will get better, you will get over it, it might take a fair while, maybe months, but I guarantee you will come out the other side.

Meanwhile, keep busy, concentrate on you and the kids and block him on absolutely everything except a child care dedicated e-Mail address.

You can do it! We know you can. “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”

Men can't be alone. Whatever someone tells me about their uncle who was a hermit for 50 years or whatever, generally, they aren't good at being alone.

YANBU OP, that is hurtful. I’d be suspecting they’d already been having an affair before you split up, or he at least had to have put in quite a bit of groundwork there whilst you were still married. Console yourself that once the honeymoon period is over in a few months she’ll have the next 25 years of putting up with his shit and you have your wonderful freedom.

I remember well that feeling of it all being unfair & I definitely felt the same way when I was in your position.
And I think it's very common for women to feel that way because it's often men who have more free time after a split to find someone new & men in general (obvs not all men) seem able to compartmentalise and move on quickly.

I know it's hugely generalising, but I think men can trample down their emotions more easily whereas women sit with them & need longer to work through them.
Many men are happy as long as they get regular sex and won't be worrying about "where is this going?" or "what if the kids don't like her?" or "what if it ends and I get hurt again?" so moving on feels easier for them.

But his new relationship is probably just a superficial one & who wants one of those? Better to spend time working on yourself and becoming a self reliant, emotionally secure person.

Concentrate on your daughter who will get your undivided attention & love when she's with you & not have to share you with a random person. You don't have to lavish her with money & special trips out, love & attention are all she needs and those cost nothing xxx

Funnily enough it was my ex wife who could not get repartnered fast enough.

Got pregnant by him, wrecked the divorce settlement and abused him in public.............

By chance I bumped into an ex not long after we split and had a FWB relationship for a few years before meeting my wife who I have been with for 17 years

He already had the new woman lined up and waiting. That's why he has moved on so fast. That, and he needs a woman to run his life and home for him.
It's going to be tough but you'll get sorted with your finances, and being on your own isn't that bad. You may find you prefer it to having a man who develops learned helplessness after a while.

It must be very difficult and it’s really hard not to feel bitter, but he will get bored of pretending he’s a great dad soon and his true colours will start to show. The positives are that he is having his children at least so you have some time to yourself to relax and recharge and eventually meet someone decent, someone who treats you well. This feeling will pass but it’s ok and normal to feel the way you are right now.

You’re not unreasonable to be upset by it no. 25 years is a LONG time, but some people do just move on quickly. My mum always told us that when a relationship ends, even a bad one, it’s often not the actual person you miss it’s the routines/habits- having someone to eat dinner with, having someone there to come home and watch TV with, having someone to go shopping at the weekend with, someone to text during the day, and so a lot of people when they end up single rather than sit in that discomfort and find a new routine as a single person just find someone else to slot in to fill those voids.

It's very common. Most men just want someone to keep house, look after them and have sex with.

He should not be introducing a girlfriend to the children until much much later in the relationship 😕

Increasingly I think that a lot of men simply lack the emotional depth of women. Usual NAMALT / 'Not my Nigel' disclaimer. But for some men their 'love' is a shallow and convenient thing, they can stay a lot longer in an unhappy relationship just for a quiet life but when they go they go. Extreme compartmentalising with a shiny new people pleasing vagina waiting in the wings. Just an observation. That said, in my circle most relationships have endured through good times and bad.

Same for many men. Even my brother who was genuinely devastated at the breakdown of his 20yr relationship / marriage was in another relationship within 4 months (now his wife).

Did you ask him to leave?

Sorry to hear this, try get angry and try hynotism

Some men can't live on their own because they wouldn't dream of running a house, cleaning/shopping/cooking/sorting insurance and utilities. They also won't look after their kids alone in their contact time, because they feel they need someone present with a vagina. Usually their mum or a girlfriend.
He's probably had her on a string for a while if she is a "friend". I'd only be feeling sorry for her!