Do you update your OH when you are out for the night?

105 replies

Candykitten0173 · 07/12/2025 18:04

My DP rarely updates me throughout the night if he is out for the night, we have DC. This means I often have no idea what time he’s coming home and he just rocks up without any pre message to say he’s coming back.

I wouldn’t say I’m angry or anything I just find it bizarre as I am always one to just sent a courtesy text to give an update or say I’m on the way back.

AIBU to think this is unusual behaviour in a relationship with kids? Or are we just different people?

OP posts:

Glenthebattleostrich · 07/12/2025 18:11

Its a mile walk from the train station along a dark lane so i usually ring him while i am walking if he cant pick me up.

But yes, usually send a message if I am gping to be late or let him know i am on the train / in a taxi. He also does the same when he is out.

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/12/2025 18:10

DH and I just assume the other will be on one of the last trains home and thus back between midnight - 1pm unless we hear otherwise. No other updates throughout the evening.

Do you need to know when he’s on his way for planning or scheduling of your own? Just tell him if so.

PurpleThistle7 · 07/12/2025 18:10

my husband and I will give an estimated home time - like should be home by 11. And then we will update if it’s not going to happen. Otherwise… no, we aren’t really in touch with each other if we are out with our friends

ItsmeMargo · 07/12/2025 18:08

If I’m going out and say to DH, I’ll DEFINITELY be back at 10o’clock, and then come 10 o’clock I’m still going strong, I’d probably send him a text to say, I will see you when I see you. But to be honest, when either of us goes out, we don’t tend to say when we will be back. We have two children, one with extra needs. We cope.

DarkForces · 07/12/2025 18:08

I often let him know when I'm on the way home. He usually picks me up from the train station as he's amazing 🤩

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