To do this instead of a party

But it's your SONS birthday, not yours!

Honestly, this sounds a bit bonkers to me!

Presumably the friends are kid friends with a parent? Or just your adult friends?

If you’ve got a 5yr old who knows it’s his birthday, how will you ignore him and sit chatting with your friends eating cake? Kids that age don’t entertain themselves without some supervision.

Also, at what point will you let your child blow out the candles and sing Happy Birthday or will you re-light the candles and sing every time someone new arrives?

Surely it’s easier to host a 2 hr birthday party with a couple of organised games, candles, “Happy Birthday” and a slice of cake afterwards?

Team husband here He is 5 why not do a party. It may not be your intention but you look tight. It is not a good look. How will your son feel if no one turns up.
I honestly don't understand your mindset, you will look foolish. I feel sorry fir your son.

Out of interest why are you doing this instead of having a few of his friends round for a few party games and cake?

Edited to say - I ask because I think if we knew the rationale it might make more sense!

Would have been ok to say this to family but not friends.

5 year olds do need to have social drop ins to see their friend for their birthday and yes the parents will feel obliged to buy something and it’s just plain awkward, I’m sure you’re not close friends with all the parents of the kids your son plays with and the last thing they want to do is go and sit round some random house for a happy birthday drop in.

You said this was for your 5 year old and said "friends".
So I assumed you meant the 5 year olds friends 🤷

Your poor son, his birthday is going to be so disappointing.

nothing special being done for it. Why don't you want to have a party, just a couple of kids around, it doesn't have to be a whole class thing.

they're only this young & easily pleased for such a short time.

This is really weird.

This really made me laugh 🤣

If its just a playdate type thing then it should have been a message, not an invitation.

The invite makes it seem like a party.

This made me laugh far too hard! 🤣

Look OP this is the sort of thing I would do when my DC bday fell on a school day and I would say to their grandparents and my sister and her DC, who all live close by "please pop round for birthday cake after school".
The adults would drink tea and eat cake, we would feed the DC and their little cousins a bit of dinner and everyone would go home.

I wouldn't be doing this on a Saturday afternoon and inviting my DC friends to just pop in if they're passing. Sounds a bit sad for your DS.

Your intentions are good, just possibly pitched to the wrong age bracket.

You're inviting people round for your son's birthday so youre still having a party, its just a bit of a lazy halfarsed one if youre not providing food or activities for the kids

Nah that’s too vague for me sorry, I probably wouldn’t come.
Close family yes, but friends no

Takes no effort whatsoever and costs about £20 to put out some sausage rolls, fairy cakes, crisps, hotdogs and blow up some balloons.
I can’t see why you wouldn’t make some effort.

I think you need to plan something for the kids to do! Party games or something. Or at least something exciting to play with.
, an activity of some kind.

Friends are going to want to play together but at five they’ll need some prompting/ activity. I don’t think eating a piece of cake is going to be enough.

You should of arranged it as a playdate or threw a party, i wouldnt bother bringing my kids for cake and nothing else for a school friend. Feels a bit awkward!

Okay, and if nobody shows up, your DS will be totally fine with that, will he?

He's not a baby, he knows what a birthday is and that it means games, cake and a party. If you don't want to do that (or can't afford it), that's fine, but then don't do this bizarre half party, half- adult orientated chat. It's not fair on your kid.

You're the one being obtuse now.

You know every well that 'being invites round for cake' isn't a thing any five year old is going to recognise. They're going to be told they're going to Sam's birthday and be confused and disappointed when they get there and find there having some cake and a chat! Not to mention your own son's experience of the day!

If you want to see your friends while your children play together, do that. But don't pretend it's for his birthday!

It's a bit strange I wouldn't bother going. If it's for his friends why not do a playdate instead?

Are you ND?

it's the only explanation I can think of why you don't understand the social problem here. If you're not going to do a party, then don't. But don't do a non party social drop in for 5 year olds.

Poor DS' yes it's my birthday' but my parents didn't want me to have a party, just cake' no I don't know why either ' 🥹🥹🥹

it's fine not to do a party (though at 5 it's easy & can be cheap) but the. Just celebrate as a family. Dont hang around the house all day waiting for confused friends to show up.

sorry this is like trying to explain why the sky is blue.

I think the problem is, you’re kind of violating a social contract. Usually this is how it goes: you invite people round to celebrate your kid’s birthday. They make the effort to come and they bring a present (of course they will- it’s his actual birthday, he’s only 5, and they’re showing up at your house). Your side of the contract is to organise some kind of food and entertainment so people have a good time. Here, you’re proposing not to hold up your side of the unspoken contract. So your DH, and lots of people on this thread, feel weird about that.

You have been polite. I’m just not sure you’re understanding what people are saying.

Even if you said plainly and clearly that there were to be absolutely no presents it’s still strange.

Going calling is what they did in the days of yore. I could understand it if he was in an iron lung but just having him wait around all day to see if anyone comes to call on him is a strange way for a five year old to spend a day.

It’s not akin to saying to your own family ’just pop over on Saturday afternoon for Alan’s birthday’.