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Original poster

To wonder why DH made such a fuss

82 replies

ChristmasShift · 07/12/2025 13:37

DS, 12, has had flu for over a week. He’s been very ill, up most nights and absolutely no routine. It’s wiped him out, he didn’t eat anything for days. He’s turned a corner and improving but still exhausted.

I was up early this morning, enjoying the quiet. DH has had food poisoning so been in the spare room. He appeared at 10.15 asking why I hadn’t woken DS up, I said he probably needs the sleep, generally he’s not one for laying in or sleeping loads. DH went back up and kept coming back down every 15 minutes to say I should really wake DS up. It got to 11 and I was fed up of his constant jibbing so I went and woke DS up. This is the odd thing though. DH came and ate something and has now gone back to bed to apparently rest! Fine but I don’t get why he was so absolutely adamant that DS needed waking up.

Ive said why did you keep on that DS should be woken up and he’s gone into a strop about how he has to work tomorrow so needs rest. Makes no sense to why DS couldn’t sleep in.

OP posts:
Daytimetellyqueen · 07/12/2025 15:14

Luxio · 07/12/2025 15:05

Do you often find yourself walking on eggshells and doing things just for a quiet life and so your husband doesn't sulk? You realise that's not normal in a happy relationship right?

Show quote history

My thoughts also. This isn’t right Op & sorry you’re living like this.

Sidebeforeself · 07/12/2025 15:14

ChristmasShift · 07/12/2025 14:54

Waking DS up was easier to deal with than him keeping on at me. When I did ask why the fuss he did his usual and turned into a sulking insulting git.

Wow thats really unfair on your part. You chose to wake up your ill child rather than deal with your DHs attitude?

MorningActivity · 07/12/2025 15:14

He did that because your dh is a controlling twat.
Pushing you and his ds to get up
and do as you’re told.

insult etc… when you try to stand up to him or question his behaviour.
Look. You even said it was easier to wake ds up than coping with constant jib ‘why arent you getting ds up. You must be lazy’

As for being ill himself. Just when your dd is ill abd has been unwell for a week. But still enough energy to get up and have a go at you and then go back to bed. Why do
i have doubt on how Ill he actually is?

AutumnLeavesFallingFast · 07/12/2025 15:12

ChristmasShift · 07/12/2025 14:54

Waking DS up was easier to deal with than him keeping on at me. When I did ask why the fuss he did his usual and turned into a sulking insulting git.

Well, it's not about what is easier for you!

Your DS has been really unwell & was ASLEEP!! The thing that helps you recover from illness.

But to make YOUR life easier you woke him up instead of telling your DH, to give it a fucking rest and DS needs his sleep.

You are as bad as each other & need to sort yourselves out.

ThereAreOnlyShadesOfGrey · 07/12/2025 15:11

“If you want him awake then wake him your bloody self” would have been my response to that.

Honestly why do women put up with this shit?

BlueMum16 · 07/12/2025 15:08

ChristmasShift · 07/12/2025 14:54

Waking DS up was easier to deal with than him keeping on at me. When I did ask why the fuss he did his usual and turned into a sulking insulting git.

Sound you choose to get your ill child out of bed rather than tell you DP to do one?

Luxio · 07/12/2025 15:05

ChristmasShift · 07/12/2025 14:54

Waking DS up was easier to deal with than him keeping on at me. When I did ask why the fuss he did his usual and turned into a sulking insulting git.

Do you often find yourself walking on eggshells and doing things just for a quiet life and so your husband doesn't sulk? You realise that's not normal in a happy relationship right?

TimeForTeaAndG · 07/12/2025 14:56

Still recovering from flu, it's unlikely he'll be up late tonight anyway and what difference would it make to DH working tomorrow?! DS isn't going to be running around the house at 1am keeping everyone awake.

DH is being an arse, send DS back to bed and apologise for waking him.

Original poster
ChristmasShift · 07/12/2025 14:54

Waking DS up was easier to deal with than him keeping on at me. When I did ask why the fuss he did his usual and turned into a sulking insulting git.

OP posts:
TidyCyan · 07/12/2025 14:49

He's been ill! He will sleep when he needs to sleep. I can't believe you woke the poor kid up to shut up the whiny manchild.

lottiegarbanzo · 07/12/2025 14:49

Why does your H feel the need to schedule everyone else’s sleep? Why is sleeping during the day ok for your son on a Monday but not on a Sunday? This makes no sense. It’s clearly not about what’s best for your son.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 07/12/2025 14:48

I hope you had the vacuum out and sang Freddie style while your not d h was resting.
He is imo a fuckwit..

Bigtreeesss · 07/12/2025 14:46

Is he typically this controlling about how much rest he feels family members are entitled to

he sounds utterly tiresome

Original poster
ChristmasShift · 07/12/2025 14:43

He’s now said he said that because he doesn’t want DS to be up late tonight. He’s not going back to school tomorrow but DH is apparently working. He’s said DS can rest tomorrow when he’s at work.

OP posts:
Wishimaywishimight · 07/12/2025 14:38

ChristmasShift · 07/12/2025 14:25

He kept on with an undertone that I couldn’t be bothered to have DS up and about, hence why I relented and woke DS up for H only to go back to bed himself

You know this makes no sense whatsoever. Your child is unwell and needs sleep to recover. Your DH was being ridiculous yet you put his wishes above your son's well-being!

Rhaidimiddim · 07/12/2025 14:35

ChristmasShift · 07/12/2025 14:25

He kept on with an undertone that I couldn’t be bothered to have DS up and about, hence why I relented and woke DS up for H only to go back to bed himself

So it was nothing to do with what was best for the sick child; it was that your DH was so bloody miffed that you were getting sone time to yourself ( AKA being a lazy cow and/or a Bad Mother) that he rose from his sick bed time after time to rattle your cage.

I had one like that.

I have a hunch. Look up NPD and try to find one of those " is yourvpartner a narcissist" online quizzes and see how many boxes he ticks for lack of empathy/ all-about-me-ness. I may be wrong, but I wish I'd done that a decade earlier than I did.

Luxio · 07/12/2025 14:35

ChristmasShift · 07/12/2025 14:25

He kept on with an undertone that I couldn’t be bothered to have DS up and about, hence why I relented and woke DS up for H only to go back to bed himself

That makes very little sense. It's not like he's a boisterous toddler who needs supervision when awake? Surely at 12 he will be spending some time away for you both at weekends anyway?

lottiegarbanzo · 07/12/2025 14:34

You need to care a lot more about what is the right thing to do, much less about your perception of other people’s opinions of you (both weird).

lottiegarbanzo · 07/12/2025 14:32

What? That makes no sense.

TimeForTeaAndG · 07/12/2025 14:29

ChristmasShift · 07/12/2025 14:25

He kept on with an undertone that I couldn’t be bothered to have DS up and about, hence why I relented and woke DS up for H only to go back to bed himself

This doesn't really answer the question of why you didn't just say "I won't go and wake him cos he's been ill and needs to rest. Leave him be".

Original poster
ChristmasShift · 07/12/2025 14:25

He kept on with an undertone that I couldn’t be bothered to have DS up and about, hence why I relented and woke DS up for H only to go back to bed himself

OP posts:
ginasevern · 07/12/2025 14:25

So I take it this is out of character for your DH? If it really is out of character then do you think he might have been a bit delirious? Or is there anything playing on his mind about your DS?

TomatoSandwiches · 07/12/2025 14:12

What is it about DS resting upstairs that meant your husband couldn't also do the same?

I would have told him to stop being ridiculous.

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 07/12/2025 14:11

Your behavior doesn't make sense, why did you wake the poor lad up?

Devilsmommy · 07/12/2025 14:09

If my DH tried to make me wake up my poorly DS he'd swiftly be told to go fuck himself. Poor kid