I’m so so upset about this!

Just because someone has more money doesn't mean they have to share it around with everyone who has less, even family.

My SIL seems to have this expectation of us and it drives us nuts.

Why do you think she should lend you money?
You're being very unreasonable judging her on what she spends her money. They're perfectly entitled to buy a new car if they want one. Did you think they shoud prioritise you 'sorting xmas' over their own expenses?

What your sister does with her money is absolutely none of your business. You’re coming across as a self-entitled, jealous snoop.

YABU.

No one is responsible for funding your lifestyle, not even family. Make peace with this and manage your finances accordingly.

Stop going though other peoples drawers.

That's awful that you have snooped and judged. We recently bought a new car, similar deposit and price, because suddenly needed a second car, and I am now £1000 overdrawn, because of buying the car and because it's Christmas. I wouldn't have been able to loan anyone £500 in November either. You have made so many judgements and assumptions. I really would be careful about mentioning any of this to your sister, you sound like an entitled user and she will always feel differently about you.

You are so unreasonable. Both snooping and expecting your sister to loan you a large sum pre Christmas.
unless there is a drip feed coming the solution is to save in advance and spend less if you have a smaller budget.

No, because it's not true. Most people work hard for what they have but people also make decisions that have financial implications- how hard they study, what they study, the careers they chose, who they have children with, how many children they have etc etc

Luck is part of it but it is not just luck.

People with money don't have to lend money to people without money.
I'm skint, minimum wage, council flat. I use Park Xmas savings to pay for Christmas and I get bits through the year.
My siblings have nice houses and savings and they spend their money on fancier things than I do. They do more at Christmas.
And that's perfectly normal and ok.

Life isn't fair and parts of it suck balls. That's just the way it is. Do what you can with what you've got and get over it. I'm not being cruel- I get it. But that's all you can do.

Yabu. It’s up to her if she lends you money and what she spends her actual money on. It’s nothing to do with you and it was a no.

Ha me too. So much i
should be doing at home but everything is a distraction

You googled their shampoo and looked in their drawers?

Stop asking her for her money. She said no.

' she couldn’t share 500 with her only sister'

but you weren't asking to ' share' £500 you wanted the whole £500 until a later date when you could afford to pay it back.

and when would that have been ?
' after a tough few years (or 5 years really) but I was never well off.'

You have known since 26th December 2024 that Christmas 2025 would be on December 25th 2025.

Your sister was actually paying you for babysitting ! does she usually pay you for babysitting ?

Don’t you just hope it gets crazier, though?!

(I’m putting off doing a tedious chore.)

£500 was a lot to ask for. Yes they probably do have £500 but they don’t want to just give it away. Did you really need £500 for Christmas? It really doesn’t need to cost that much.

YABU. She doesn’t have to lend you money. If it’s been five years and you’ve made no attempt to make things better I can see why she’d be reluctant to lend you anything. You’d not be able to pay it back.

You don’t know their finances. They may have agreed to this car before you asked so needed that cash.
And so what if they have expensive shampoo. It’s none of your business. She doesn’t HAVE to help you out.

Don’t make assumptions based on what you see in people’s houses, it really tells you nothing about the persons life.

For all you know she got the shampoo at a good price on Black Friday or other sale and stocked up because she doesn't have a lot of spare cash. I do this with Boucleme products because my hair is so much better with them but I can't really afford them at their usual price on a regular basis
And did you expect her to delay buying the car to give you that 500 euros?
She is in a relationship and do you know how they manage their finances or discretionary spending? She may not have 500 sitting there to give you and your BIL may not want to get into lending you money
Many people won't lend money to family and friends because of the damage it causes to the relationship when trying to get the loan repaid, it doesn't make them bad people.
It's completely understandable that you are envious of their set-up, you are only human, but don't let that damage your relationship with your sister

OP, they’re buying a new car, so they’ve probably accounted for all their spare cash. Your DS also knows you are short of money, so in all probability she would feel bad about asking for it back, and she can’t afford to gift you £500. For all you know, the shampoo might have been presents - I buy one of my DD’s (ridiculously) expensive shampoo for Christmas because she doesn’t want much and I know she likes it. I’m sorry, OP, but your DS has behaved perfectly reasonably. Just don’t ask for money, not least because if you’re short, you’ll just be putting yourself in a worse place by having to pay it back.

So you’re having a bath in your sisters home and using her products. And charging her money for the time you’re doing this. And this isn’t shameful?

but you’re aggrieved that she is not also funding your entire Christmas.

You need to learn to budget and put money to 9ne side for things like christmas not rely on you sister.

You are already being cheeky expecting to be paid to babysit

They spent it all on cars and shampoo. So no they don't have £500 to spare to lend you.

Just accept it and move on.

This

plus why do you need £500 for Xmas

if you are struggling don’t get yourself into debt for one day

how would you pay £500 back ?

You managed without, so you didn't really need that 500 quid. It's a bad idea to try to live beyond your means, even at Christmas.