I’m so so upset about this!

The shampoo I use probably costs £25 a bottle if you buy it in the shops. I bulk buy every couple of years from eBay and it works out at about £6 per bottle. Even if she is paying £25, so what? Maybe she doesn't waste money on alcohol, cigarettes, excessive amounts of makeup, pets etc like many people do. Or maybe she does and can afford it! None of your business though.

You aren't entitled to her or her family's money. They are entitled to spend their money on nice shampoos rather than loan it out.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

They didn’t have money spare to give you. Stop being so entitled. It’s not your business how they choose to spend their cash.

Gently @Penny4thoughts1 - but you are not her responsibility.
And yes I do understand, my DB is a millionaire several times over due to his career. He has looked after our parents superbly but I have never asked for a penny, even when I was on the bones of my arse, because Im not his responsibility.

It seems, for some reason, she doesn't want to lend money to you and maybe anyone else, and you'll have to respect and accept that. I've lent, (given), money to my DS over the years and I'd do it again, but not everyone is like that.

Well you were snooping and looking up things they bought to see how much they cost. I wouldn't want to lend money to family it gets so awkward asking for it back. If I had it I might give it to you but not lend it. And a bit odd having a bath when you are being paid to baby sit.

🤔

Well, she didn't have the money, as it was either already spent or committed to other things.

This. I use Kerastase shampoo. It’s expensive (especially from hairdresser) but can buy cheaper from a pharmacy. It also lasts for absolutely ages, and you only need a little. My bottle has lasted me over a year so far. Sometimes buying a cheaper product does not work out cheaper.

The shampoo may gave been a gift, or she may know someone who has a salon/works in the beauty industry who can get it for her at wholesale price, she may even have won it in a competition or raffle. It’s really none of your business. Likewise the car is none of your business. It may have just been a quote that they have not yet followed through on ir it could be that they have some money coming in January to buy the car but don’t have anything to lend you right now.

I am also guessing this is not the first time you’ve asked them for money, which is likely the reason they said no.

They have allocated their money. They don't have any to lend. You are very unreasonable to think that way. They work hard to enable them to buy things that they want. They aren't working to sustain you. You shouldn't be borrowing 500£ off anyone as you will have to pay it back and you just get in a vicious cycle of debt.
You don't need to spend 500 at Christmas. Cut your suit to match your cloth

You googled how much her shampoo is? You very much were snooping and I would not want you in my home unsupervised ever again.

They earn their money and basically it is spent on their lifestyle……..why should she feel the need to cough up £500 ?

Exactly. Couldn't have said it better.

As for Christmas, you knew it was coming. It happens on the same day every year.
Money is tight in my household as well. So I start my christmas shopping in the January sales. This years christmas cards and wrapping paper were bought in last years sales. I keep my eyes open all year round for things I know my two children will like. Then come christmas list time, all there is left is those 2 or 3 "must have" items left to get. Stockings and all the small gifts have usually been done for months.
I start the food shopping in September, as soon the stuff starts hitting the shelves. One or two items as part of your normal weekly shop really helps.

Not necessarily. Some people (and I include myself in this) just wouldn’t lend money to people regardless of the circumstances.

I would GIVE money to people I’m close to if they had an actual need for it (so not just a lack of planning for an event that happens every year) but lending to friends and family has too much potential to go wrong and for people to fall out.

You sister prioritises how she spends HER money. Expensive products, new car whatever, her choice.
She absolutely does NOT need to lend you any money at all. yabvu

Don't say anything. I think lending even between families can be tricky. Also your attitude to their new things might make them feel that you think you shouldn't have to pay them back as they are so comfortably off.
in a nut shell. You'd be mad to borrow so much money for Xmas when you are struggling already. You'd just be under more pressure in Jan with this to pay off as well.
Have the Xmas you can afford this year, I promise you that you can still enjoy it and getting yourself more in debt would just make life harder next year.

No, you don’t say anything.

Yes, you were snooping.

Honestly? Lending friends or family money is the quickest way to lose those relationships.

If you have a decent relationship with your Dsis and she has the money but refused to lend it to you, then I'd be inclined to believe that there is a massive backstory here.

Stop mooching about her house. She isn’t obligated to lend you money

Oh give over 😂 you were clearly snooping, you've googled her bath products and "tidied" her bloody new car receipt. Just own up to it, most people are nosy.
You have no idea how much money they really have -as in not financed, real, available money. She may have been absolutely truthful and not had £500 to lend you, or she may have just not wanted to. It's none of your business which applies because she said no. Don't ask again.

This type of entitled behaviour infuriates me. The OP states she has struggled financially for a few years and it's easy to see why? She just wants to blithely borrow £500 'to make Xmas work' with likely zero thought as to how to pay it back?

Presumably she'll just fritter it away on stuff she doesn't actually need because she thinks everyone deserves the type of Xmas shown in the media.

If you can't pay for it, you don't do it/get it/ have it. It really is that simple.

Whilst I think they have the wrong priorities getting probably a larger car than is needed, that is not the point.

Your DSis has no obligation to lend money to you, and it was never for something essential such as a heating repair. Modest Christmas expenditure is perfectly OK.

Hugely unreasonable and entitled.

Your sister has worked hard for her money, has a family. If she wants to spend £25 on shampoo then absolutely can. It’s her money. It’s weird that you googled this. And as fit the car. that’s a very sensible purchase. That her and her husband have worked hard for. Why do you think you have a right to her money? You’re acting like she shouldn’t be buying a new car with her own money, and instead she could to you. Maybe this car purchase is something they’ve really saved for, and now they’ve got the funds for it, they don’t have a spare £500.
What do you need the £500 for anyway? Parents? Are you hosting Christmas dinner?
I’m just baffled that you think you have a right to be upset!

It can be frustrating when people ask others to borrow money. Maybe her DH wasn’t keen. Maybe she is fed up being asked.