I’m so so upset about this!

Omg stop being a bottom-feeder and get your own money! It is none of your business whatsoever how they choose to spend their money. I had a similar comment from a friend who owed me money who was refusing to pay me back. They remarked that I didn't need the money as I had been on holiday twice that year. Stop being so entitled, nobody owes you a penny. She probably said she didn't have it as she felt awkward and knew you probably wouldn't pay her back. Do your DC truly need £500 worth of presents? Let's face it, you were also going through her drawers as well weren't you?

I feel for you OP but you are being very entitled towards your sister and her money. Googling the price of her toiletries is extremely weird. And paying £500 for her car probably means she can’t lend it to you.

You can ask to borrow money but always be gracious if the person says no

Quite often on here it’s advised never to lend money to family or friends unless you can afford to lose it. Here it seems rather likely that OP has no real intention of paying anything back.

I have expensive shampoo at the minute. It’s my treat that I funded by selling stuff on Vinted as I am not working at the moment due to demanding elderly DPs. I would be disgusted if one of my own relatives begrudged me that.

OP you could offer to do more paid babysitting if you need extra cash, that way it’s a win win for everyone. Try and keep your paws out of their drawers though in future, how much they have is absolutely none of your business.

I'd be upset if my family accepted payment for looking after their nieces and nephews. I'd be upset if the googled how much I spent on toiletries. I'd be absolutely fuming if they asked why I didn't lend them money when I'm buying a new car and nice shampoo.
Your sister isn't the one in the wrong here.

I don’t have a sister but DH does an if he lent her money I would not be pleased. Neither a borrower or a lender be

Has she lent cash to you in the past that shes never seen again by any chahce?

Surely this has got to be a joke! If you’re not joking and you’re actually that entitled have a long hard look at yourself and DO BETTER

I also buy expensive shampoo, but spending £25 on shampoo doesn’t mean I’ve got £500 to piss away on a loan that’s highly unlikely to get paid back at the most costly time of the year.

Similarly, we’ve also just bought a new sofa and booked a holiday of a lifetime kind of trip for next year. We’ve had to save up for those things, and it’s precisely because we’ve just paid for them that we now don’t have £500 spare to chuck away.

If my sister asked me for £500 today, I couldn’t give it to her. I literally don’t have that amount of money in my bank account this month. Are people supposed to refrain from spending large sums of money just on the off-chance that someone might ask them for a loan the next day?

In other news: Googling the cost of shampoo and reading people’s paperwork you found in a drawer is shitty behaviour.

Kindly, OP, often people won't lend to family because they don't believe they can afford to pay it back. Which is absolutely fair enough.

Please don’t say anything op.
How your dsis spends her money is down to her.
She’s paying you to babysit, that’s above what most families do, most do favours like babysitting for nothing, so she’s already being generous.
It is rubbish being broke but that is your issue not your DSis’s

My 1st reaction was why are you wanting to borrow £500 for Xmas? If you have to borrow then you can’t afford it! Xmas can be done on the cheap. Don’t get sucked into all the commercialises!!

So, let me see, you ask should you say anything.
How would that go, if we said yes go for it.

So, sis, you know the way I asked for 500 quid and you said no? Well, I googled the price of your shampoo AND I found a docket for a new car and you clearly have enough to lend it to me.

Do you think it would end with " omg you are so right, ill send u the cash right now, im such a bitch" or do you think it might end with " are you having a fucking laugh, dont ever call me again, and as for being in my house with my kids unsupervised, thats never happening again"

Which do you think you might get?
Do let us know.

This is a wind up post surely??

OP, if you are for real, why didn’t you start putting a little money away for Christmas, sooner?? All you needed to do, was drop a couple of items in your trolley each week and it will soon have mounted up.

Bloody hell so what she didn't want to lend you the money she wasn't obligated to you sound very self entitled just because your friend is in a better position then you

You've never been desperate then, which is a blessing.

Probably because she knows she'll never see it again if you've had money issues for five years already. It's hardly a short term issue.

Your sister said no. You either respect her right to say that or you don't. What you can't do is decide you'll respect it on condition she meets your criteria for reasonable. You have massively betrayed her trust snooping in her home, reading her private correspondence and so on, and don't really deserve her help due to this behaviour.

Agree with most of the posters on this thread. I had a strained relationship with my sister (she was the golden child) and often got me into trouble. She asked me to lend her money once. Yes, I could have afforded it but I said no I didnt have it to spare. I suspect she would never have paid me back. I told her to ask our parents who had always financed her.

When I moved into my first home I asked my grandmother to lend me money. I had it all set out on paper what the money was for and how much I intended to pay her back each month out of my salary. She offered it to me as a gift but I refused. When it came to repaying the loan I overpaid as much as I could each month just to get it over with. I always felt under an obligation while there was money outstanding and I didnt want it to ruin the relationship.

Is it just me who would never dream of asking anyone to lend me money?

Even asking is the height of cheap.

You have.a bloody nerve even asking let alone being pissed off because of her brand of toiletries.

It’s there money they earned for there family I know it’s hard but I never lend money I can’t afford not to have back, they have already committed to the car it’s expensive and maybe they are tightening the spending afterwards. Or they could have saved for the house and car for years and suddenly daunted by how much money they have spent. It’s hard when your struggling but try to do nice things like board games evenings with kids and Xmas movie nights. Comparing your situation to others is not beneficial to you it makes you resentful and upset.

The live in a brand new house! Furniture is new… everything is perfect and beautiful. I’m just so heartbroken that she couldn’t share 500 with her only sister, they are clearly way more well off than I even thought! Should I say anything! I wasn’t snooping by the way.

As a PP pointed out, using the word "share" in that last paragraph has me joining the pile-on here that you are being Very Unreasonable, OP.

You asked. She said no. It's not for you to question her decision further, it's a Yes or No question and she's said No. I'd also query how you arrived at that figure - you could have asked for a loan of £100, £200 - but a flat-out £500 seems excessive to help you through a few days of Christmas.

Christmas happens every year so why have you jot budgeted for this throughout the year? You should not expect anyone else to fund it for you because you have not prepared.

It is her money so you can't really say anything, but if you were my sister I would have lent you the money to be honest.

You've said yourself you've made do so it wasn't an emergency. Your sister may feel she's done you a service by not loaning you money for Christmas presents.

I agree, that isn't sisterly behaviour.