I’m so so upset about this!

If it helps - because I do empathise - apparently the posh shampoos last much longer than the regular supermarket shampoos as you need much less per wash. It could be a case of “investing in quality”.

Brings this to mind (waiting for image to come through)

Oh my god - what is wrong with you? You shouldn’t have asked and you certainly shouldn’t be begrudging her spending money on what she wants to. It’s not a small amount here - it’s £500. I wouldn’t ask my sibling to lend me a fiver!

That didn’t happen did it,

Edit

Many years ago, when we were young, I asked my sister for a loan. She was working and I wasn't. She was so awful about it, made me feel so small. I told her at the time that perhaps one day the tables might turn and she might need my help. Sure enough, that is exactly what happened, but I was much nicer to her than she had been to me. I don't think she even remembers how awful she was. I guess I should have refused to help her as she had done with me, but I didn't because I didn't want to be like her.

Oh, stop. Please. It's Christmas. Can't we be kind to each other just for a few days?

Why are you digging through her things? Googling her shampoo is nuts. Why should she not afford her shampoo to help you? I cant think of a reason to be lighting candles in her home in the morning.. you were just snooping. You also found paperwork and decided to read it? She was also likely already committed to this car purchase.

You asked for a loan and she said she didnt have it spare. £500 is a lot of money, and hers is budgeted for, just because its a bigger budget that yours doesn't mean its not a budget. She doesnt owe you a favour, and it seemed like you were looking for reasons to be bitter. Its awful youre struggling, but it isnt her fault she isnt and she deserves your happiness for her.

Her money,up to her what she does with it.

Did you have a bath op as you wanted to use her toiletries? Treating it like a spa break you got paid for ? Sitting googling how much her stuff cost? Did any part of you feel bad as you rifled though her drawers, reading her mail in depth? Eyeing up her home and possessions enviously and seeing what she had, and thinking how as her “onky sister” she should be giving to you so you could have similar?

how much money did you take off her to do this?

Quite frankly, those who go into ridiculous debt in order to give their kids a "good Christmas", driving consumerism and adding to landfill are just a bit thick. There is nothing wrong with taking a rain check on Christmas until later next year, or forgoing it altogether if they are young enough to not really understand what Christmas is. This will not damage them in the long run.

Yes but it's her choice

She isn't forced to help you just because you asked. It does t matter what her lifestyle is like.

She didn't want to help you for whatever reason.

You are definitely getting way too upset about this.

Seriously you're putting way too much emphasis on this one interaction with your sister.

If the is your only sibling it makes sense.

If you have more siblings you would realise in the grand scheme of things this is nothing.

You absolutely could do ad hoc cash in hand babysitting...
Because you already do it. Just do more of it for more people.

You dont have a right to your sisters money...

I agree, you’d pay teens but not anyone else, as the op says,family are supposed to help. But then family shouldn’t be going through your drawers, snooping and reading your private mail, and going through your bathroom cabinets and googling how much your shampoo costs either.

Surely that depends on the relationship? As I said earlier, I'm not defending OP at all and I think she is very entitled, but it also could be considered entitled to expect family to babysit for free, so I don't think OP did anything wrong in accepting money. She was, however, grossly wrong to spy and snoop and to be angry with her sister.

Your sense of entitlement and bitterness is gross.

want more money earn more money.

don’t expect your sister to fund it.

she can do what she likes with her own money.

Agree. I wouldn’t ever expect a family member to be paid for babysitting other than teenagers

To be fair to OP, there is no reason why family should babysit for free. Sister is totally within her rights not to lend OP money (which she would probably not see again!) and OP is a CF, but I don't think that accepting money for babysitting is being a CF.

OP you couldn't repay a loan of £500 - if you could then you would have saved that amount up yourself!

So really you are expecting a hand-out. I don't know why you think siblings should subsidise poorer ones. You cut your cloth to fit, not look to others.

I won't be spending anything like £500. You could have a perfectly lovely Christmas for £100 all in, and even less.

One of my siblings has bought a car this year so I might ask for a "loan" of fifty grand to let me have a really good Christmas. I mean, there's not a chance in hell they'll be able to afford it but they're family so they should find a way.

Borrowing or lending money never ends well
cut your cloth to suit

'We can't afford to lend' is a kind version of 'we don't want to lend'.
And perhaps they have a shedload of debt and can't produce a lump of cash for you.
Either way, they are not obliged to lend you money. Hope you manage to arrange a nice Christmas anyway.

Dont we?