Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Told colleague I'm 16 weeks pregnant and asked to keep it quiet.

155 replies

Lemonsqueez · 07/12/2025 07:47

I work in a consultancy in a male dominated industry. I told my line manager at 15 weeks pregnant as I started feeling really ill and having complications. My workload is too high for me to keep up but as I've been put forward for a promotion which will only happen in March I'm really stressed about telling work. This promotion is based on my last year of work, not going into a new role. Anyway I told my project director who is not my line manager but who I work closest with and she told me her advice was to hold off as long as reasonably possible to tell anyone as she thinks I'll get sidelined and miss opportunities. After she said this I cried at my desk and felt so anxious. I have to travel this week with the team and since this is my second pregnancy I'm really showing, I don't know what to do. Am I being unreasonable thinking she was out of line with her comment?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemonsqueez · 07/12/2025 07:53

EleanorReally · 07/12/2025 07:49

i dont think she was out of line
in an ideal world yes you would not get sidelined
do you want the promotion?

I've already been put forward for the promotion. If they didn't give it to me I would raise a grievance to make sure it's not because of my pregnancy

OP posts:
PersephoneParlormaid · 07/12/2025 07:51

Just tell them and reduce your anxiety

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 07/12/2025 07:49

She wasn’t trying to make your life harder. She was sharing the reality which she has noticed. You don’t have to take her advice, that is still your choice.

But I’d talk it through with someone like ‘Pregnant then Screwed’, as it’s clearly going to be a problem for you. If you are worrying about showing now, how will you manage until March?

EleanorReally · 07/12/2025 07:49

i dont think she was out of line
in an ideal world yes you would not get sidelined
do you want the promotion?

napody · 07/12/2025 07:49

Well, you can hardly keep it a secret until March, can you? You'll have to tell them soon, you're nearly 4 months gone.