Told colleague I'm 16 weeks pregnant and asked to keep it quiet.

OP, from reading your posts I think everything is ok? You got the promotion, you’re very glued up on your rights and legal protections (well done!) and your colleague shared her opinion, but this doesn’t need to be your opinion, I’d just have replied ‘thank you, but I’m well protected by the law and therefore I’m not worried about sharing the news when I feel it’s time’. Congrats on your pregnancy!

So do you work for the type of Consultancy where multiple people apply for project roles/work and the client/project team pick who they want? Eg new project starting in Feb needs X expertise, and you and 2 other people might apply/be eligible and then project team can pick only 1 person? If that’s the case I can see why your colleague said kept it quiet because legal or not, a project team is unlikely to want to onboard someone that is could disappear or maternity leave at any time or in the middle of their project - and handover is additional cost (because new person takes time
to become effective).

So by telling people you are pregnant, Iindirectly you could lose out on more interesting project opportunities if there are others available because you’ll not been seen as being around for the long haul and you’ll be left with the assignments people don’t want.

Actually I don’t think your promotion to a higher grade is at risk as long as your work quality this year demonstrates you are acting at a higher level. Based on your colleagues comment I think it’s more you’ll be seen as a resourcing/project risk and you may lose access to interesting projects that other consultants are also available for because you are higher risk for absence. I’m not saying it’s right but that’s just how resourcing in consultancies can and does work - the Consultancy needs the projects done at lowest risk. Your colleague wasn’t being unkind - she was just pointing out you will miss out on opportunities once they think you’ll be taking maternity leave.

She in no way discriminated against you. She highlighted to you that the world is still a discriminatory place and suggested a way you could mitigate your risk. You can choose to take her advice or not. It's really not her role to comfort you or make you feel better about feeling anxious and unwell. She's a colleague, not a friend, family member or Dr. If you're having pregnancy-related health issues, you should officially inform your employer so that you can take time off without it being recorded as a sick day.

She sounds like she was trying to be helpful and just giving advice.
The thing is with advice is you can take it or leave it.

Im not sure why you are annoyed with her though, you can make up your own mind what to do.

It was just an opinion and I think you need to come off your high horse and stop whinning.

My goodness gracious I've never read such a huge level of drip feeding with every post OP!

What makes you do it and how do you think it means the thread is going to help you?

Are you ramping up to put in a complaint against her? Good luck with that 🙄

But she's a colleague. She's not your manager. She's not speaking for the company. She can't discriminate against you when it comes to awarding a promotion.

You don't need to be a victim about this. The reality is women do get discriminated against, even subconsciously, with things like this. She was giving you valid advice, there's no point having hurt feelings about it.

Honestly you are really BU now. It feels like discrimination because she said you could get sidelined for promotion? You need a massive reality check. She spoke the truth. What do you want a colleague to say? Yes you'll be promoted and you'll work fully to capacity during pregnancy, labour wont hurt, baby will sleep between every feed, sleep the night after a few weeks, friends and family willl help and support you, you'll return to your promotion where you'll apply yourself fully because baby won't pick up any bugs at childcare.

That's discrimination.

And if I've understood correctly, the promotion is not to a new post, it's in recognition of the increased responsibilities she's already been carrying out.

It was not discrimination. You need to stop.

She gave you her opinion, which is the same opinion as half of the women on here.

Why is this such an issue for you.

Your entire team will know soon enough anyway, so I don’t see the problem.

Jesus Christ. This is a wind up. If not, good luck.

I did. I wrote line manager by accident.
Not that it impacts my previous post whatsoever.
Your colleague WAS being kind & supportive by offering you some practical advice. Do you think you can handle the pressures of a promotion?

You seem to keep changing your mind about what it is you are annoyed at this woman for.

She didn’t do anything wrong and so it’s best to just let it go.
She gave you her opinion and you disagree - it’s fine.

You have decided that it’s a good idea to tell your employer about your pregnancy and considering you are having a difficult one, then I too think it’s a good idea.

Honestly she only gave you some advice. Feel free to ignore it. Think you're over thinking it. She is not the person who decides on your promotion.

Being pregnant doesn't mean you have to be handed a promotion on a silver platter, who do you think istrying to screw you over?

I think you are being contradictory. And I get it, being a mum and employee can be contradictory sometimes. Yes pregnancy is a protected characteristic as such, but if they have to choose between 2 candidates where one is anxious, emotional at work, feeling unwell and feels they already have an overwhelming workload and another is none of these things, who do you think they should go for? Who would you choose if you were an employer? That's not even considering that one candidate is going to be absent for a long period shortly after the promotion. Personally I think you should look after your body and mental health first. The pressure of the new job might be too much for you, and thats nothing to feel bad about, you are growing a human right now and it takes a toll. There will be other promotions down the line, but this child's well being is time sensitive now.

But you do know that your employer can literally site any reason for not promoting you? You’re sounding silly now as well as naive.
Crack on being mock offended by your line manager and her kind micro-dose of reality. Let’s see how it goes for you!

I’m confused too. I’ve no idea who she’s actually replying too. I keep asking what the actual problem is - I’m really not sure

If you having complications with preganacy then you need to inform work.

Im confused. You have told your line manager so surely you have informed work that your pregnant?