Told colleague I'm 16 weeks pregnant and asked to keep it quiet.

Pregnant Then Screwed estimate there are 74k women each year who lose their jobs because of pregnancy/ maternity related discrimination. That doesn’t include the ones not promoted, sidelined, put on the mummy track.

The law is there to protect us but lots of employers still don’t play fair. It shouldn’t happen - but it does, regularly.

Sounds like she was looking out for you tbh. I dont think youre being unreasonable though. I would follow her advice because pregnancy discrimination is real and more common than people think.

Wow, she was trying to help you, not discriminating against you. It sounds like you will get the promotion, and I understand you’re feeling really sensitive with the pregnancy and exhaustion. But you’ll be burning bridges if you carry on with this attitude to this woman -she didn’t make the corporate world, and while there’s a lot of how it should be, only an idiot doesn’t recognise there’s also how it is and you need to recognise that in your actions.

I was a consultant for a long time, promoted in pregnancy and very unwell with each pregnancy, I do know this environment and I know how hard it is to try and work through a pregnancy when you feel terrible all the time and you’re losing weight daily.

You should know there’s a world of difference between the law and reality. I think your colleague was right in her advice, but your timing is going to render her advice untenable.

So then what wxactly is your concern as i don’t see one? And why are your crying at your desk about a fact said to you by another colleague ?

IME your colleague was right to flag that you may be side-lined and miss out on opportunities. Yes, its not right or fair but it does happen. And, having worked many years in consultancy myself, I think it would be very hard to prove discrimination on the basis of pregnancy.
If its your second, it won't be long before its obvious to all anyway. Plus, your employer has a duty to re-appraise your health and safety needs now that you're pregnant and that may include limiting the amount you travel or indeed what projects you are assigned to as your pregnancy progresses.

You sound incredibly naive. I don't think your colleague was out of line at all.

You should have said that in your original post. Sounded like she had your back and now you want to use that.

If you are so supremely confident that it is impossible for your employer to discriminate against you - why on earth are you upset that your colleague said they might? Just smile smugly knowing she is wrong and this never happens...

I did challenge maternity discrimination. They settled before tribunal but clearly I couldn't go back to work with them.

Its really very simple, you just need to formally tell HR. You can't take advantage of the protection for pregnant women (which is your right) unless they actually know about it formally. Otherwise, you may find yourself trying to prove they discriminated against you for a pregnancy they didn't actually know about, which would be impossible to prove. They also may not discriminate against you at all anyway, but you do need to use the right channels.

Agree with others here. It’s all well and good spouting that pregnancy is a protected characteristic and you shouldn get the promotion.

But as someone rightly pointed out a while ago: Who can honestly be bothered to enter legal proceedings against employers; write statements; get legal advice; possibly lose; and then face going back to work in the same place?

It’s one of those things you might not be bothered to undertake in reality. It’s going to result in a lot of stress.

And it’s all well and good talking about ‘I should be allowed to expand my family’, and you can. But you must have known this was going to complicate things?

You'd be returning to your job with 2 young children, and you already admit to struggling with the workload.

But if OP gets the promotion she won't even be able to do the job for a year presuming she takes maternity leave. If you were that keen on the promotion why didnt you hold off becoming pregnant till you had secured it if you thought there would be an impact.

And to add to @999DonutsandLargeCoffee
Why on earth would you want the first years of your new child’s life tainted with the stress of a legal fight like this OP?
It makes no difference to anyone on here what you ultimately decide. People are giving you guidance based on the real world. You’re free to take it or leave it.

Lol. Good luck with an employment tribunal. I have too much at stake to ruin my reputation and my career over a few grand.

No one here is being hard on you. People are trying to tell you what the reality is and that you should protect yourself.

None of your colleagues care about you, your child or your career. They're not your friends or family.

You’re not using the quote function so it’s difficult to know if you’re talking to me, another poster or your neighbour at no. 12.

Kindly, you’re not a special case. The vast majority of people commenting on here will be working mothers. Who ever said it’s fair? It’s reality, OP. I wish you the best of luck and encourage you to heed your colleagues well meaning advice. Best wishes for a straight forward pregnancy!

Too late, news is out now but you should have kept quiet.

I'm a solicitor in the City. I got denied my promotion for senior associate, which had been verbally confirmed, after I told them I was pregnant. If I had waited 2 more months to tell them, it would have been official and done. They didn't promote me after I came back from mat leave because obviously I didn't hit my target as I was off work. I ended up having to leave to get my promotion elsewhere.

Employment law doesn't mean shit. Any compensation you'll get won't make up for a missed promotion and fucked career.

Oh and she has told them so there is no dishonesty at all.

You do realise that promotion isn’t always a competition between staff for a management/supervisor role right? So at my work, there are four different levels of staff seniority and you get promoted to the next one once you show you meet the criteria. I can’t see why someone can’t show they meet the criteria for the next level up and then go on maternity leave. I certainly can’t see it as immoral - why would it be? It might be different if A and B are both in the running to take over as office manager and A gets it and immediately goes on leave, meaning that a temporary replacement must be found and it might have made more sense to have given it to B instead. But even then I can’t see it as immoral.

Whilst I completely understand that many work places don't get maternity laws right, I think women's behaviour about work and maternity rights is, at times, immoral. Sorry if this isn't popular....
On the one hand you are working hard towards a promotion but you are now pregnant. (As you don't state it was accidental, it sounds planned).
You aren't coping with the work load, and, by the sounds of it, you aren't communicating your excess work load to work and you aren't telling work about your pregnancy (could be risk assessments etc that need doing....) and you are still hoping to get the promotion, then go off on maternity leave? And if you don't get the promotion you'll claim maternity discrimination?!
Your actions/behaviour/lack of honesty are of greater concern to a company than your pregnancy atm and in my opinion......you are not being open and honest with them which could in turn cause them to have a trust and confidence issue with you.
I really think you need to be more realistic as to whether you are actually able to manage a promotion at this time in your life.

This is a very naive attitude.

@Lemonsqueez - it depends on the promotion. As you’re in consultancy, ie going from consultant, manager, senior manger, director, Partner. It depends which jump you are doing. Pretty much up to senior manager it’s a matter of paperwork and role bands. However to get to director and then Partner is whole different ball game. Then it’s politics and sales the pyramid starts to get much narrower with less people. So she’s probably right if you’re jumping up to director as it won’t necessarily just be march is promotion so we just move some people up to the next band.