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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be angry that a mutual friend is committing benefit fraud!

160 replies

166lady · 07/12/2025 07:44

Myself my husband and our toddler went on a soft play date with my husbands friend, his wife and 2 kids. My husband asked if his friends wife will be going back to work and she said she’s in no rush as she’s getting enough from universal credit to live happily.

My Husbands friend then added that she’s been off work for 2 years as she claimed they live separately (they don’t) and that she has no savings when they do.

I don’t know how much they were claiming but she suggested it was more than what she was getting in maternity pay! I feel angry as myself and everyone I know were scrambling for childcare to go back to work and earn again, and they’re living a fake life

OP posts:
Livelovebehappy · 07/12/2025 11:19

Squishedpassenger · 07/12/2025 10:51

I work for the NHS. I really don't care if the poorest people I provide care for steal a few pennies from the Government.

Very noble of you. Must be nice to be so comfortable that youre happy for fraud to be given the green light..

gamerchick · 07/12/2025 11:18

The claiming to live apart doesn't really work anymore, they eventually get caught and I find it odd that people actually talk about it IRL. I've never known anyone to broadcast that info.

Minty25 · 07/12/2025 11:15

If you know it to be true then just report her. You can do it anonymously online. Don't expect much to come of it though as they seem to get away with it for years. Benefit fraud is rife in so many ways, self employed people doing cash in hand is rife, people claiming to be single, people giving loads of money away and then claiming UC, exaggerating things for disability benefits. They are cracking down so people do need to be more careful.

Chairwoman4 · 07/12/2025 11:15

I’d leave it only because she will get caught and the consequences of that will be bigger in time. Let karma deal with it.

Bonden · 07/12/2025 11:13

a friend whose husband is a coercive bastard told me she claims UC because he won’t give her and their two DC money. She’s broke. She works privately as a cleaner when not doing her min wage PT job. I’m not going to dob her in. She works fucking hard and is in an impossible situation as her H won’t leave their social housing they’re joint tenants in.

curiositykilledthiscat · 07/12/2025 11:10

I wouldn’t hesitate in reporting her, she’s a leech.

If her savings are over the threshold she’d eventually be caught anyway. But I’d still report her for falsely claiming her partner doesn’t live with her as although DWP can cross reference financial accounts, addresses, even social media accounts, that issue won’t be investigated unless they get a tip off.

BillieWiper · 07/12/2025 11:09

Do you know exactly how much they have in savings? Why do these people tell Tom dick and harry they're doing fraud? I've never ever heard anyone saying this. How idiotic.

I personally wouldn't but report them if it will make you feel better.

ThisQuirkyHare · 07/12/2025 11:08

Squishedpassenger · 07/12/2025 10:51

I work for the NHS. I really don't care if the poorest people I provide care for steal a few pennies from the Government.

Do you really not see the irony in what you've said?

You work for the NHS, an underfunded failing organisation that needs every penny it can get from the government to support those in critical need of help. And you support benefit fraud, which literally steals £8bn annually from the government purse. Imagine if that £8bn were directly pumped into the NHS and the good that could do.

Add on the money from Amazon as well as the fraud losses and there would be a lot of the poorest people better off. Those who can't get council housing or a dentist for a start.

Give your head a wobble and see how things are connected. Fraud isn't a victimless crime.

Correction, it's £9.5bn in fraud and errors!

  • "Benefit fraud and error cost £9.5 billion in overpayments during 2024-2025, equivalent to 3.3% of total benefit spending".
Darknightsandsparklylights · 07/12/2025 11:08

Squishedpassenger · 07/12/2025 07:59

Why do you care? Go and chase amazon for money.

it’s taxpayers’s money. Everyone who pays tax is subsiding her if she is trying to cheat the system so we all have a right to an opinion. It’s our money. If you don’t pay tax and are on benefits because of genuine need, you still have a right to an opinion because she’s taking from the general pot that should be shared out among people in need. We can’t as an economy afford to subsidise endless people who don’t need it.

The point of socialism and therefore benefits, is, from each according to their ability to contribute , to each according to their need.

Justchilling07 · 07/12/2025 11:06

CombatBarbie · 07/12/2025 09:42

Its not benefit bashing! Its fraud.....and is a real issue......

I think, people are doubting is this actually real, because of course there are benefit bashing threads.
And yes, as we know on MN, some posters make things up, to get a reaction.Sad but unfortunately true.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/12/2025 11:06

Squishedpassenger · 07/12/2025 11:03

Ok I still wouldn't care

Still a bit weird that you can’t grasp why other people care.

Squishedpassenger · 07/12/2025 11:03

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/12/2025 10:57

That’s nice and all but this couple earn too much to be legally eligible for benefits and they also have savings… clearly not the poorest people stealing to survive.

Ok I still wouldn't care

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/12/2025 10:57

Squishedpassenger · 07/12/2025 10:51

I work for the NHS. I really don't care if the poorest people I provide care for steal a few pennies from the Government.

That’s nice and all but this couple earn too much to be legally eligible for benefits and they also have savings… clearly not the poorest people stealing to survive.

Squishedpassenger · 07/12/2025 10:51

Livelovebehappy · 07/12/2025 10:41

Ah, so you’re either someone benefitting from a benefit fraud yourself, or you’re in the lucky position of not being negatively affected by Reeves’ budget of taking from the working classes to give to the benefit claimants. But at least you’re honest and own your statement instead of trying to justify it. And btw I’m not saying there aren’t people out there on benefits who don’t deserve it. But I definitely don’t think fraudsters deserve it.

I work for the NHS. I really don't care if the poorest people I provide care for steal a few pennies from the Government.

Viviennemary · 07/12/2025 10:46

x2boys · 07/12/2025 07:58

Indeed ,if anyone was going to commit fraud why would they be stupid enough to boast about it🤔

But they do.

Livelovebehappy · 07/12/2025 10:41

Squishedpassenger · 07/12/2025 10:29

Yes I am.

Ah, so you’re either someone benefitting from a benefit fraud yourself, or you’re in the lucky position of not being negatively affected by Reeves’ budget of taking from the working classes to give to the benefit claimants. But at least you’re honest and own your statement instead of trying to justify it. And btw I’m not saying there aren’t people out there on benefits who don’t deserve it. But I definitely don’t think fraudsters deserve it.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/12/2025 10:37

Coffeeandbooks88 · 07/12/2025 10:36

She is also allowed savings. I have several thousand and claim UC.

The savings amount is limited though. Safe to assume he meant undeclared savings

Coffeeandbooks88 · 07/12/2025 10:36

She is also allowed savings. I have several thousand and claim UC.

Coffeislife · 07/12/2025 10:34

Tbf a family member of mine proudly announced they lied in a disability claim ( works full time and lives a full life yet said they can't bathe themselves) despite me having additional needs children one not expected to live beyond 20. The absolute lack of shame in some people is there

Coffeeandbooks88 · 07/12/2025 10:33

Well go on then and report her then.

Squishedpassenger · 07/12/2025 10:29

Livelovebehappy · 07/12/2025 10:21

Totally irrelevant. You can be angry about both things, which are completely separate. Are you suggesting only one of these things is morally wrong?? OP, I would report. She’s dumb enough to brag about it, and chances are she’s shouting it from the rooftops to everyone who will listen, thinking how clever she is, when she’s only one of many who do this. If you don’t report her, someone else will.

Yes I am.

Livelovebehappy · 07/12/2025 10:26

itsgettingweird · 07/12/2025 10:01

Yeah cos we all meet our spouses friends who blurt out they are commiting benefit fraud daily 🙄

Yeah cos it does happen 🙄 Many who are dumb enough to commit benefit fraud are also dumb enough to brag about it. Because they think it’s clever to beat the system, and think everyone else is on their side, and might also be grateful of the ‘tip’. Might have been the case once upon a time, but since the budget when a lot of hard working people not receiving benefits are now going to be shafted by the government to fund the increasing Welfare budget, you’ll probably find that people are not quite as understanding…..

Jellycatspyjamas · 07/12/2025 10:26

Bambamhoohoo · 07/12/2025 09:52

To me this is the same as a friend confidentially leaving over to a non criminal friend and saying “I’m knackered, i was up all night robbing houses”

that’s why it’s so unbelievable

why would you go around telling everyone you’re committing fraud?!?

Because people see it as a victimless crime, or think they’re getting one over on “the system”. Not everyone sees benefit fraud as a wrong doing, they see it as getting free money because the link to actual tax paying people isn’t there. It’s not that unusual for someone to talk about their finances and share something that they really don’t think anyone would have an issue with.

HoneyParsnipSoup · 07/12/2025 10:25

‘Amazon’ and ‘billionaires’ have become a lazy brush off to absolve the public of any individual responsibility whatsoever. It’s getting boring now.

Livelovebehappy · 07/12/2025 10:21

Squishedpassenger · 07/12/2025 07:59

Why do you care? Go and chase amazon for money.

Totally irrelevant. You can be angry about both things, which are completely separate. Are you suggesting only one of these things is morally wrong?? OP, I would report. She’s dumb enough to brag about it, and chances are she’s shouting it from the rooftops to everyone who will listen, thinking how clever she is, when she’s only one of many who do this. If you don’t report her, someone else will.