Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be angry that a mutual friend is committing benefit fraud!

160 replies

166lady · 07/12/2025 07:44

Myself my husband and our toddler went on a soft play date with my husbands friend, his wife and 2 kids. My husband asked if his friends wife will be going back to work and she said she’s in no rush as she’s getting enough from universal credit to live happily.

My Husbands friend then added that she’s been off work for 2 years as she claimed they live separately (they don’t) and that she has no savings when they do.

I don’t know how much they were claiming but she suggested it was more than what she was getting in maternity pay! I feel angry as myself and everyone I know were scrambling for childcare to go back to work and earn again, and they’re living a fake life

OP posts:
166lady · 07/12/2025 22:04

Apologies for not replying- I have been away all day and only just managed to read through the thread after putting the kids to bed.

This was in NO way a rage bait or made up story, they didn’t give details but they clearly stated they have lied about their living arrangements and their savings to qualify for UC. My DH has known this friend for years but I’ve not met his wife much, it was a surprise to both of us that they openly said it and that’s exactly what angered me more. DH thinks we should just leave it and it’ll catch up to them

OP posts:
Applesinapie · 07/12/2025 17:44

verybighouseinthecountry · 07/12/2025 13:01

Meant to say, banks are obligated now to inform HMRC of large payments if UC or any means tested benefit is paid into that account.

Do you know how long that takes to come to light? I’m pretty sure she’s spent most of it. Will they tell her she needs to pay it back? And how if she doesn’t work?

Friendlygingercat · 07/12/2025 15:35

The amount of fraudulent benefit claimants that randomly tell MNers the most intricate details of their fraud is unreal.

I dont know anyone who is committing benefit fraud because I dont ask people about their personal or financial affairs. I am not interested. And I dont discuss mine with neighbours, randoms and relatives. Rubbing other people's noses in it is one sure way to get snitched.

I imagine that people who get off with it are pretty close mouthed in discussing their affairs. They drive modest cars and live in ordinary homes. They do not entertain lavishly or have an overtly affluent lifestyle. Probably have almost no socia media presence, except of the most innocuous kind. And certainly do not post from expensive holiday desitinations or energetic sporting venues where they are a participant.

jan2310 · 07/12/2025 14:54

ThisQuirkyHare · 07/12/2025 12:24

To all those saying it's a bullshit made up thread, it actually doesn't matter in the slightest if it's made up. It's an important point, the excusing of benefit fraud and how normalised it is.

We are facing a huge problem with benefit fraud and mismanagement that needs to be addressed. £9.5 Bn every year is not nothing! It's not some made up thing that isn't happening or fake news.

People aren't inventing or exaggerating the benefit fraud, it's just uncomfortable to contemplate because a lot of people are doing it, maybe even some on this thread!

You can argue the Robin Hood principle all you want, but it's unsustainable to maintain that type of loss every year and not see the link to declining public services.

It's not goady for people to be getting pretty pissed off with the situation. Especially when they are getting up early to go to work and paying more and more taxes to support this shitty situation.

Benefits should go to those who need them. and I for one would like to see the benefit fraudsters dealt with so the kid with cerebral palsy whose mum is on her knees trying to keep body and soul together, or the elderly person lying on a hospital trolley in a hallway waiting for a bed gets decent support not just scraping by.

Fraudsters take from the genuine people needing help not just the able bodied. I don't understand why more people aren't angry about this rather than just turning a blind eye. maybe they just haven't connected the dots that fraudsters are screwing over their own community and just don't care.

There are many problems to solve in this country and this is one of them, along with taxing Amazon, foreign aid and financial mismanagement. It is firmly on the list and needs to be dealt with.

Edited

Well said.

LiveLuvLaugh · 07/12/2025 14:50

I am really surprised that she admitted benefit fraud to a casual acquaintance. But if this is true, report her. She won’t know it’s you that reported.

VIOLETPUGH · 07/12/2025 14:41

EchoedSilence · 07/12/2025 09:11

And in todays benefit bashing thread...

where is the bashing ??? I read about fraud.

Newmumatlast · 07/12/2025 14:39

Report it otherwise dont complain about it as youre facilitating it

ToKittyornottoKitty · 07/12/2025 14:35

arcticpandas · 07/12/2025 12:44

The thing is some people brag about this- they think they are clever to "trick the system". You are lucky not to have ignorant people like that around you. I do. And I know of plenty who fraud the system. Why I don't report them? There are children involved so I just can't bring myself to do that.

Do you create threads to slag them off and then not return to reply to anyone on the thread also though? Pretty common on here now for OPs to create goady benefit based threads and never return to them.

Balloonhearts · 07/12/2025 14:09

So report her then.

CombatBarbie · 07/12/2025 14:08

Justchilling07 · 07/12/2025 11:06

I think, people are doubting is this actually real, because of course there are benefit bashing threads.
And yes, as we know on MN, some posters make things up, to get a reaction.Sad but unfortunately true.

Its very real though. I know a few folk who "claim to live apart". Meanwhile ive just incurred £250 worth of charges because I stupidly declared a 19k loan i had to get to consolidate marital debt (getting divorced) and they withheld my payment for 3 weeks and to top it all off, my bank does a "rounds up" feature. I was asked for an account statement for xxx which I was adamant I did not have. What indidnt realise was the "round up" is actually an account the bank sets up. They withheld my payment for £2.90!!!!

I told them I wish I hadnt declared it, went in on wed and all debts were paid on the friday. But im now £250 down and have no recourse.

Xkk · 07/12/2025 14:06

I say wait a bit before repoprting otherwise they will connect the dots and realise it was you. You don't want the aggro, wait a few months maybe

x2boys · 07/12/2025 14:04

ThisQuirkyHare · 07/12/2025 12:24

To all those saying it's a bullshit made up thread, it actually doesn't matter in the slightest if it's made up. It's an important point, the excusing of benefit fraud and how normalised it is.

We are facing a huge problem with benefit fraud and mismanagement that needs to be addressed. £9.5 Bn every year is not nothing! It's not some made up thing that isn't happening or fake news.

People aren't inventing or exaggerating the benefit fraud, it's just uncomfortable to contemplate because a lot of people are doing it, maybe even some on this thread!

You can argue the Robin Hood principle all you want, but it's unsustainable to maintain that type of loss every year and not see the link to declining public services.

It's not goady for people to be getting pretty pissed off with the situation. Especially when they are getting up early to go to work and paying more and more taxes to support this shitty situation.

Benefits should go to those who need them. and I for one would like to see the benefit fraudsters dealt with so the kid with cerebral palsy whose mum is on her knees trying to keep body and soul together, or the elderly person lying on a hospital trolley in a hallway waiting for a bed gets decent support not just scraping by.

Fraudsters take from the genuine people needing help not just the able bodied. I don't understand why more people aren't angry about this rather than just turning a blind eye. maybe they just haven't connected the dots that fraudsters are screwing over their own community and just don't care.

There are many problems to solve in this country and this is one of them, along with taxing Amazon, foreign aid and financial mismanagement. It is firmly on the list and needs to be dealt with.

Edited

I dont dis beleive t that people commit benefit fraud, its the telling all and Sundry about their fraud im sceptical about.

cobrakaieaglefang · 07/12/2025 13:31

In some circles its completely normal and the same for self employed people hiding income. The number of mners exs who hide income from child support to pay minimum should tell us that.

WishingIwasyoungerandslimmer · 07/12/2025 13:21

ThisQuirkyHare · 07/12/2025 12:24

To all those saying it's a bullshit made up thread, it actually doesn't matter in the slightest if it's made up. It's an important point, the excusing of benefit fraud and how normalised it is.

We are facing a huge problem with benefit fraud and mismanagement that needs to be addressed. £9.5 Bn every year is not nothing! It's not some made up thing that isn't happening or fake news.

People aren't inventing or exaggerating the benefit fraud, it's just uncomfortable to contemplate because a lot of people are doing it, maybe even some on this thread!

You can argue the Robin Hood principle all you want, but it's unsustainable to maintain that type of loss every year and not see the link to declining public services.

It's not goady for people to be getting pretty pissed off with the situation. Especially when they are getting up early to go to work and paying more and more taxes to support this shitty situation.

Benefits should go to those who need them. and I for one would like to see the benefit fraudsters dealt with so the kid with cerebral palsy whose mum is on her knees trying to keep body and soul together, or the elderly person lying on a hospital trolley in a hallway waiting for a bed gets decent support not just scraping by.

Fraudsters take from the genuine people needing help not just the able bodied. I don't understand why more people aren't angry about this rather than just turning a blind eye. maybe they just haven't connected the dots that fraudsters are screwing over their own community and just don't care.

There are many problems to solve in this country and this is one of them, along with taxing Amazon, foreign aid and financial mismanagement. It is firmly on the list and needs to be dealt with.

Edited

👏👏👏👏👏

Wynter25 · 07/12/2025 13:14

Greenwitchart · 07/12/2025 09:22

So we are supposed to believe that someone randomly shared their entire financial situation with you including the fact that they were cheating the benefit system when in comes to savings & living together?

I am putting this in my "it never happened" benefit bashing pile...

Same

curiositykilledthiscat · 07/12/2025 13:13

They are doing more checks but fraudulently claiming because people are cohabiting will be impossible to prove if couples have all of their individual accounts registered at their individual homes and don’t make any payments to the other person.

Minty25 · 07/12/2025 13:12

TheVengaBusIsComingMyBusPassIsForthcoming · 07/12/2025 13:04

What soft play do you go to where they serve alcohol?

On MN every second poster definitely knows someone committing benefit fraud and telling every old random about it.

Since op hasn't bothered to return I'm inclined to think this is just another thread to whip posters into a frenzy about benefit fraud, and that op has embellished (if I'm being generous) the story somewhat.

Many soft play places are part of a pub or annexed to a pub. All the ones local to me are.

user1468867181 · 07/12/2025 13:08

The Government have put a lot of money recently into detecting benefit fraud and within UC they are focusing on the areas where the majority of the fraud exists undisclosed capital, people cohabiting without informing UC and the under declaration of self employed earnings. A lot more checks and reviews are being carried out. It is much more likely that people will be caught if they try to exploit the system.

curiositykilledthiscat · 07/12/2025 13:07

Yep my apologies about the alcohol thing in this situation, wasn’t reading properly.

Avantiagain · 07/12/2025 13:07

"To all those saying it's a bullshit made up thread, it actually doesn't matter in the slightest if it's made up."

I thought made up wasn't allowed.

TheVengaBusIsComingMyBusPassIsForthcoming · 07/12/2025 13:04

curiositykilledthiscat · 07/12/2025 12:31

The human leech may feel she trusts OP because their partners work together, or she has a naive side to her character, or has let her guard slip after a couple of drinks. It may not be the implausible scenario you want it to be.

What soft play do you go to where they serve alcohol?

On MN every second poster definitely knows someone committing benefit fraud and telling every old random about it.

Since op hasn't bothered to return I'm inclined to think this is just another thread to whip posters into a frenzy about benefit fraud, and that op has embellished (if I'm being generous) the story somewhat.

littlemousebigcheese · 07/12/2025 13:03

Most people that claim ‘it’s my tax money’ or ‘taxpayers have a right to know’ etc don’t earn anywhere near enough to be paying the tax required to be a positive contributor. They are barely paying for their own needs and services yet love to play moral superiority.
fraudulently claiming benefits isn’t ok but I think purposefully defunding the nhs and paying schools a pittance or contributing to a system where UC tops up wages so shareholders get large profits is way worse. Companies like Amazon deliberately paying no tax is a huge issue that is allowed to slide. That pisses me off more than some builder not declaring his earnings. I can be mad at both sure, but I’m more angry about the time and effort that goes into ensuring large corporations get away with paying minimum tax

verybighouseinthecountry · 07/12/2025 13:01

verybighouseinthecountry · 07/12/2025 12:54

Yes they will. She will have a review at some point and they will discover this and consider it purposeful fraud due to the immediate move. UC compliance teams will be watching probates and named beneficiaries. The UC Facebook pages are full of questions from people asking how they can receive an inheritance without UC finding out, the short and long answer is that you can't.

Meant to say, banks are obligated now to inform HMRC of large payments if UC or any means tested benefit is paid into that account.

verybighouseinthecountry · 07/12/2025 12:59

Bonden · 07/12/2025 11:13

a friend whose husband is a coercive bastard told me she claims UC because he won’t give her and their two DC money. She’s broke. She works privately as a cleaner when not doing her min wage PT job. I’m not going to dob her in. She works fucking hard and is in an impossible situation as her H won’t leave their social housing they’re joint tenants in.

She should seek help from women's aid or another DV organisation, they could help her to get the tenancy changed to her name only. She is technically committing fraud, could end up with a criminal record and custodial sentence.

verybighouseinthecountry · 07/12/2025 12:54

Applesinapie · 07/12/2025 09:55

Do they find out if you inherited money and then moved it? I have a friend who inherited 20k in the summer. It went in her bank and she moved it straight away into her dad’s account and spends it from there so as not to affect her universal credit.

Yes they will. She will have a review at some point and they will discover this and consider it purposeful fraud due to the immediate move. UC compliance teams will be watching probates and named beneficiaries. The UC Facebook pages are full of questions from people asking how they can receive an inheritance without UC finding out, the short and long answer is that you can't.