To have found this entitled and rude?!

When i am angry i take in supplication and meditate on it.

I was also at tonight’s show with my 5yo and we have been every year for the past 4 but I can honestly say I’ve never experienced any children screaming around us. All different ages and yes they’ll sing/dance/be excited when their favourite characters come on but I’ve never heard any of them screaming and I wouldnt allow my daughter to either. It is not okay that she spoke to your daughter so rudely but was she definitely not screaming? Kids show or not I don’t think anyone should have to listen to screaming in their ear

I'm not sure I agree. Ops dd was always going to be the loudest child cheering to that woman because she was the child sitting directly behind her. Therefore the closest and thus the loudest. There's a big difference between general cheering in an arena and cheering immediately behind you. Also, for all she knew ops dd could also have been ND and unable to contain excitement.

I agree that if she was worried about how her child would have reacted to the noise then she should have planned for that with ear defenders or if he couldn't tolerate those, maybe it's not the most appropriate event for him to be at if he'd be uncomfortable.

I would never question a child directly if their parent was there. I think as a parent I'd much prefer someone to question me rather than my child because that's an equal power dynamic and I can then decide whether it's fair and correct my child accordingly or is not fair and challenge it. Adults can be intimidating for children even when they're being nice and children often see adults as authoritative. So while you may think think you're making a reasonable request, others may disagree but a child isn't likely to question you on that. As a parent I'd feel like you overstepped and I'd be questioning why you chose to go directly to my child instead of to me and it would get my back up. Purely because I think people who know they're being a bit unreasonable are more likely to go directly to a child because they won't get push back compared to a parent and really they just want to get their own way which I think is exactly what this woman was doing.

Op I don't think your husband was aggressive. If an adult stranger made my child cry and intimidated them I'd have said exactly what he said. I think he was quite fair. I hope your dd still had a great time.

It's not OK for anyone to be screaming at an event.
Fans of The Beatles, Bay City Rollers, Take That, Westlife etc. missed this law.

Absolute bullshit. It was Disney on Ice - hundreds of excited kids cheering and screaming, so what?

She’s NOT entitled to speak to whoever she wants actually. Her entitlement was the whole problem. She was a bully to a little girl.

I don’t think OP’s husband was aggressive and he was quite right to remonstrate with her; if the nasty cow had spoken to my 11 year old like that, I would have torn a strip off her.

And why the hell should OP’s DD apologise to a nasty, rude adult who has shouted at her? Give your head a wobble.

@Percypigsyumyum she was rude and entitled and I’m sorry she shouted at your daughter. Nasty woman. Everyone on here defending her is talking crap. An adult should never shout at a child like this - and why single out your DD? As you say, it will have been incredibly noisy there with lots of excited children.

If she couldn’t manage her son’s needs in that environment that was on her.

Is your DD ok now? I hope she was able to enjoy the rest of her evening after that.

That's a horrible experience for your DD.
Don't waste energy trying to make sense of the woman's behaviour, it wasn't reasonable to treat a child that way. I'd assume some underlying reason, doesn't make it ok but the point is it wasn't your fault or your DD's fault.

It's not OK for anyone to be screaming at an event. Cheering maybe, at the appropriate part, but not screaming. You say your DD wasn't, but why did the woman turn around to tell her not to? Why did she single her out? Her voice must have been louder than the others around her.
I think it's OK for an adult to ask a child directly to be quiet, but not to be rude or aggressive about it. It sounds like your DH was also aggressive. Of course she had a right to speak to your DD, she can speak to whoever she wants. But she should have been polite about it. And you should have told your DD to turn down the volume, and she should have apologised, even if the upset she caused was unintentional.

Seriously, another SEND bashing thread?

Do you really need to ask a bunch of strangers if a clearly rude woman was clearly rude?

I genuinely wonder how some adults get through a day if they have to ask questions like this.

It was a young child at Disney on ice. It should be expected.

Yes rude, and ridiculous thinking this wasn't going to be a loud event.

I will take your word for it that dd wasn't screaming. But this thread reminded me of a recent event we went to where the 4 young teens in the next block seemed to be taking turns to see who could scream the loudest, it was deafening and spoiled the event.

She was rude yes but your daughter wailing and screaming must’ve been really annoying

Cant be that noise sensitive with no ear defenders

I carry my sons with me if we go to events like that because im not taking any other child's enjoyment away due to my child's need

It was rude, yes. Unrealistic expectation of quiet. I’m ND. I find noisy places and chaos triggering, so I avoid them. Yes, it means I have to miss out on some stuff. But there are reasonable expectations of accommodation and there are unreasonable expectations, and hers were the latter. You can’t expect an arena full of excitable kids to be quiet.

She is an actual madwoman