Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have found this entitled and rude?!

40 replies

Percypigsyumyum · 07/12/2025 00:08

My husband and I took our kids to Disney on ice this evening, it was a packed arena with loads of kids with those noisy light up toys, generally very noisy and chaotic.
The show had just started, and the mum of the family in front of us turned around and shouted at my daughter to stop screaming. She said her son was autistic and couldn’t deal with screaming. She was aggressive and rude to the point she made me 11 year old daughter cry. My husband told her she had no right to speak to my daughter and if she had a problem she needed to speak to one of us as an adult. She then pulled a grumpy face and turned back around.
My daughter wasn’t screaming, she was cheering to the show, along with hundreds of other people in the audience. But after this interaction she was very quiet and it did ruin the first part of the night for her. The little boy had no ear defenders or anything to suggest he might struggle with noise (there were literally loads of kids with ear defenders on as it was obviously very noisy!) The mum seemed bang out of order to me and the whole attitude seemed so entitled.
I am all for accommodating people and their needs, but this seemed to rude and entitled to me. I was so, so angry for the way she spoke to my daughter. I really felt that if you’re choosing to bring your child to an event like this then it is on you as a parent to ensure that they can cope, having an SEND child doesn’t lead you can berate other people around you surely?!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Sunflower459 · 07/12/2025 11:48

myhaggisblewup · 07/12/2025 11:18

They don't get through the day by themselves though, they spend time moaning/ bitching on MN.
Others wouldn't have enough common sense to open a christmas card without DRAMA.
Awaits the pile on for more daft comments on here... Bring it on, I'm not bothered either way as I'm allowed an opnion just like eveyone else.

Show quote history

I don’t think the contentious issue is the neurodiversity itself. I think the contentious issue is that this woman used her son’s neurodiversity as an excuse for her own poor behaviour. As an ND woman I’ll admit that makes me cross, too.

OldBeyondMyYears · 07/12/2025 11:28

DelphiniumBlue · 07/12/2025 00:59

It's not OK for anyone to be screaming at an event. Cheering maybe, at the appropriate part, but not screaming. You say your DD wasn't, but why did the woman turn around to tell her not to? Why did she single her out? Her voice must have been louder than the others around her.
I think it's OK for an adult to ask a child directly to be quiet, but not to be rude or aggressive about it. It sounds like your DH was also aggressive. Of course she had a right to speak to your DD, she can speak to whoever she wants. But she should have been polite about it. And you should have told your DD to turn down the volume, and she should have apologised, even if the upset she caused was unintentional.

Are you ok? Seriously…an arena FULL of excited children at Christmas, is NOT the place to take a noise sensitive child without the appropriate noise cancelling headphones! 🤦‍♀️

The woman was very rude, very entitled, and very ill-prepared as a parent of a child with a noise sensitivity!

myhaggisblewup · 07/12/2025 11:18

Rizzz · 07/12/2025 00:55

Seriously, another SEND bashing thread?

Do you really need to ask a bunch of strangers if a clearly rude woman was clearly rude?

I genuinely wonder how some adults get through a day if they have to ask questions like this.

They don't get through the day by themselves though, they spend time moaning/ bitching on MN.
Others wouldn't have enough common sense to open a christmas card without DRAMA.
Awaits the pile on for more daft comments on here... Bring it on, I'm not bothered either way as I'm allowed an opnion just like eveyone else.

StrictlySequinsandStiIettos · 07/12/2025 11:03

HoHoHo2023 · 07/12/2025 00:49

It was a young child at Disney on ice. It should be expected.

Show quote history

Nah bollocks. Took my 5 year old nearly two decades ago to Disney on ice.
No screaming by anyone. No need to.
You dress them up as princesses, give them a glittery wand and tell them to pipe down. Job done.

PevenseygirlQQ · 07/12/2025 10:58

My daughter is waiting for assessment for autism, we have been to disney on ice, I take ear defenders. If she finds environments like that to much I’ll take her home or we just wont go!

I would never expect another child to accommodate my child and expect them to reign in their joy. Everyone has paid and as much right to be there as anyone else

This woman was very rude and she could have asked politely. I do understand that she may have been stressed but theres no excusing shouting at a child!

Sunflower459 · 07/12/2025 10:58

Your own daughter could have been ND for all this bully knew. Funny how no one ever jumps to that conclusion when it’s a little girl’s behaviour they find objectionable, isn’t it?

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/12/2025 10:52

What on earth did she expect?

I have every sympathy for people dealing with MD kids but if they are triggered by loud singing/shouting then Disney on Ice is an absurd place to take them.

tripleginandtonic · 07/12/2025 10:51

HoHoHo2023 · 07/12/2025 00:49

It was a young child at Disney on ice. It should be expected.

Show quote history

She was 11; so not young

FestiveFruitloop · 07/12/2025 10:50

Are you quite sure your DD wasn't screaming? Having said that, the woman should have spoken to you not your DD if she had a problem - it wasn't OK to spoil a special outing for your DD, or to be so rude about it.

Rainbowcat77 · 07/12/2025 10:48

Hmm I wonder what the woman in front of you’s thread would look like?

C152 · 07/12/2025 10:46

It's possible you've become a bit immune to the sound of your own children and that, combined with pleasure at seeing her happy, made you unaware that she was actually quite a bit louder than you thought. There are nicer ways to ask you to be quiet, but the woman in front probably snapped. That said, I do think more organisations should consider putting on a special quieter show and enlarging their disabled areas.

Jessiesjammy · 07/12/2025 10:35

She was out of order - no one should shout at a child.

if the kid can’t cope with noise, maybe an arena of 10,000 people isn’t for them. Cheering is absolutely allowed and encouraged at Disney on Ice and every other kids show I’ve ever been to. Surely she must have known it’s not a quiet place?

I’m sorry it ruined your daughter’s experience.

cannynotsay · 07/12/2025 10:35

I would have torn into to her so hard! How dare she! I’m so sorry you guys experienced that

MrsEndeavourMorse · 07/12/2025 10:26

Theunamedcat · 07/12/2025 00:22

Cant be that noise sensitive with no ear defenders

I carry my sons with me if we go to events like that because im not taking any other child's enjoyment away due to my child's need

Ridiculous comment. My son is autistic and sensitive to noise but also won't wear ear defenders because he doesn't like the feel of them or how it affects his hearing.
I would never shout at a child though. Well, anyone to be honest. It's to be expected in a place like that. She was rude and selfish

ComfortFoodCafe · 07/12/2025 10:21

It must of been pretty bad for them to turn around & tell your daughter off in all honesty.

Original poster
Percypigsyumyum · 07/12/2025 10:20

CandyCaneKisses · 07/12/2025 10:15

I don’t know. Your daughter must have been especially irritating for her to react with such aggression (?).

Possibly to her because she had a cheering child sitting right behind her. There was also several in front, around and hundreds across the stadium. Still not ok in my mind to shout at a child and make her cry.

OP posts:
Original poster
Percypigsyumyum · 07/12/2025 10:19

Shedeboodinia · 07/12/2025 01:25

My son is ND and the girl screaming sound is a major trigger for him. He would have a major meltdown. I actually don't take him to loud shows for this reason. I am very aware of his sensitivity to certain noises.
I actually would have never thought that a show like Disney on Ice would have people in the audience screaming for ages' or be particuarly loud, maybe this mum didn't think the croud would be like this.
I would have assumed that people just go and watch it like a theatre show and the crowd is just quiet. Like a west end show.
I would bring ear defenders if it was like a pantomime but honestly, I would have though disney on ice would be more like a west end show where the audience is silent and you just listen and watch.
Sounds like a total mismatch of expectations.

This was maybe the problem - the whole show was louder than they expected. There was lots of cheering, and singing etc from the audience. The skaters said repeatedly ‘make some noise for…’, it wasn’t a quiet show.

OP posts:
Sunflower459 · 07/12/2025 10:18

CandyCaneKisses · 07/12/2025 10:15

I don’t know. Your daughter must have been especially irritating for her to react with such aggression (?).

People don’t always deserve it when other people are aggressive to them. That’s not how the world works.

Original poster
Percypigsyumyum · 07/12/2025 10:16

Rizzz · 07/12/2025 00:55

Seriously, another SEND bashing thread?

Do you really need to ask a bunch of strangers if a clearly rude woman was clearly rude?

I genuinely wonder how some adults get through a day if they have to ask questions like this.

No, not SEND bashing, or at least not intentionally. I admit I needed to vent my anger last night, this woman thought it was ok to shout at my daughter and ruin her night and used her son as the reason. That is not ok.
I totally get that many kids find those environments overwhelming and hard, if he had had a meltdown it would have been none of my business and I wouldn’t have had the audacity to tell her to quieten down her son because that’s plain nasty.

OP posts:
CandyCaneKisses · 07/12/2025 10:15

I don’t know. Your daughter must have been especially irritating for her to react with such aggression (?).

Original poster
Percypigsyumyum · 07/12/2025 10:12

LemaxObsessive · 07/12/2025 00:38

She was rude yes but your daughter wailing and screaming must’ve been really annoying

Quite an obvious attempt to be nasty - I assure you my daughter wasn’t wailing and screaming - she was cheering.

OP posts:
WilfredsPies · 07/12/2025 02:04

I don’t think either side are completely in the right, or the wrong.

She shouldn’t have spoken to your daughter. You were right there, she should have spoken to you or your DH if she had a problem. You were right there, there was no excuse for her not to. And if her DS has noise sensitivity then she should make sure he has ear defenders so he doesn’t have to listen to it. As you don’t say that her DS was distressed by the noise, I suspect it might be her who was struggling with the noise.

Having said that, can you really, honestly say that she wasn’t screaming? It does seem very strange that in a venue full of children all making similar cheering sounds, she picks on your DD. I think most of us are guilty of it; if a child I love is yelling or squawking, I’m sitting there thinking that my little angel is just having fun and expressing himself. I know for a fact if it was anyone else’s child, I’d be wanting to stick knitting needles in my ears. I’d definitely be glaring at the parents.

DorothReally · 07/12/2025 01:26

Lavender14 · 07/12/2025 01:21

Op said her dd was cheering rather than screaming which does happen. We weren't there tonight but have been previously.

Show quote history

Yeah cheering for sure but it’s such fine line between the 2 and I’d imagine to OP, it maybe didn’t register how loud DD was being if someone was angry enough to tell just that one child off. Completely not okay to lose temper at a kid’s show though regardless

Shedeboodinia · 07/12/2025 01:25

My son is ND and the girl screaming sound is a major trigger for him. He would have a major meltdown. I actually don't take him to loud shows for this reason. I am very aware of his sensitivity to certain noises.
I actually would have never thought that a show like Disney on Ice would have people in the audience screaming for ages' or be particuarly loud, maybe this mum didn't think the croud would be like this.
I would have assumed that people just go and watch it like a theatre show and the crowd is just quiet. Like a west end show.
I would bring ear defenders if it was like a pantomime but honestly, I would have though disney on ice would be more like a west end show where the audience is silent and you just listen and watch.
Sounds like a total mismatch of expectations.

Lavender14 · 07/12/2025 01:21

DorothReally · 07/12/2025 01:18

I was also at tonight’s show with my 5yo and we have been every year for the past 4 but I can honestly say I’ve never experienced any children screaming around us. All different ages and yes they’ll sing/dance/be excited when their favourite characters come on but I’ve never heard any of them screaming and I wouldnt allow my daughter to either. It is not okay that she spoke to your daughter so rudely but was she definitely not screaming? Kids show or not I don’t think anyone should have to listen to screaming in their ear

Edited

Op said her dd was cheering rather than screaming which does happen. We weren't there tonight but have been previously.