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AIBU?

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Original poster

17 year old lifted and laid

181 replies

shonapop · 06/12/2025 20:19

Does anyone tell their older teens to get the bus? I am so sick of the entitlement of my 17 year old expecting to be dropped off and picked up, despite having a free bus pass.
Is this just a fact of life?

OP posts:
Ellie1015 · 06/12/2025 20:57

I give my 15 yr old a lift when it is convenient for me, or with advance notice if bus is awkward. But she definitely gets bus or walks at more often than she gets a lift.

Blanketpolicy · 06/12/2025 20:57

I’m Scottish, so is dh and neither of us have heard the phrase lifted and laid before (Ayrshire)

Once he hit 17 ds was fairly independent, but I’d offer a lift sometimes, was always a good time for a catch up to see what he was up to.

Christmascanary · 06/12/2025 20:52

Are you Scottish OP? I’m Scottish and would definitely use the phrase lifted and laid.

Okiedokie123 · 06/12/2025 20:52

I think lifted and laid is a totally unknown expression outside Ireland.

Yes it’s a fact of life if you are a doormat (depending on where you live - if rural, no bus route, that’s different). Learn to say no!

BruFord · 06/12/2025 20:52

I encouraged DS (17) to get on with learning to drive and luckily it went smoothly so he can now drive himself to many things. I wfh a fair amount so he can use my car. Our local buses are hopeless so he has an Uber account when he can’t use the car or he’s coming home from a night out.

TeenToTwenties · 06/12/2025 20:50

cariadlet · 06/12/2025 20:48

Thanks! I'm glad someone finally explained. I'd guessed that it must be a regional term as I wasn't the only poster unfamiliar with it.

Show quote history

I'd assumed it was auto correct for something else!

Thechaseison71 · 06/12/2025 20:50

Hankunamatata · 06/12/2025 20:44

Very surprised no one knows what 'lifted and laid means'
Its literally a person expecting you to do everything for them - perhaps its an NI term

Nor ever heard of it TBH. Glad my lot used buses or drive themselves at that age

thegallivanter · 06/12/2025 20:50

It’s a term commonly used in the north of Ireland - it means very well looked after/ wanting for nothing/ not expected to do anything.

cariadlet · 06/12/2025 20:48

Hankunamatata · 06/12/2025 20:44

Very surprised no one knows what 'lifted and laid means'
Its literally a person expecting you to do everything for them - perhaps its an NI term

Thanks! I'm glad someone finally explained. I'd guessed that it must be a regional term as I wasn't the only poster unfamiliar with it.

cariadlet · 06/12/2025 20:46

ACatCalledPuss · 06/12/2025 20:40

Can't believe so many people don't know what lifted and laid means!!

What's the point in posting that and then not explaining what on earth "lifted and laid" means?

Swissmeringue · 06/12/2025 20:45

At 17 I'd be expecting them to be learning to drive themselves anyway. But tbh it depends on where you live. If public transport is reliable and regular then I'd be expecting them to use it. If you're somewhere more remote/rural then I'd be expecting to ferry them about a reasonable amount.

Hankunamatata · 06/12/2025 20:45

But no yanbu
If mine wants a lift he needs to ask me usually the day before.

Hankunamatata · 06/12/2025 20:44

Very surprised no one knows what 'lifted and laid means'
Its literally a person expecting you to do everything for them - perhaps its an NI term

ACatCalledPuss · 06/12/2025 20:40

Can't believe so many people don't know what lifted and laid means!!

Dontlletmedownbruce · 06/12/2025 20:39

I say no to my 17 year old about half the time because he is inclined to treat me as a taxi if I am not tough. A year or so ago when I said no he argued that I should unless I have other plans.. he said you are just there doing nothing anyway.... There were many bus trips after that. Now he thanks for me lifts and doesn't presume so much.

EmbroideredGardener · 06/12/2025 20:36

Depends where you've chosen to live. Somewhere with no reliable public transport, then suck it up. Middle of a town? Then I would if the bus was a reasonable option, ie would I consider doing it myself

Abhannmor · 06/12/2025 20:36

TanitaTikTokaram · 06/12/2025 20:26

Well this certainly wasn’t what I expected from the thread title … 😳

Ahem....me neither

CombatBarbie · 06/12/2025 20:35

Free bus pass ill assume your in Scotland but ive no friggin idea what lifted and laid means 🤣

BluntAzureDreamer · 06/12/2025 20:35

Always! And always have done. I OFFER lifts if I'm not busy but getting the bus is the default.

Jk987 · 06/12/2025 20:35

Lifted and laid? What does that mean?

BIWI · 06/12/2025 20:34

am so sick of the entitlement of my 17 year old expecting to be dropped off and picked up

Then stop doing it! Of course they will expect it, if you keep doing it!

Dogmum1983 · 06/12/2025 20:34

I don’t think the op is going to get what they wanted from this thread thanks to the title ha

Horrorscope · 06/12/2025 20:34

TanitaTikTokaram · 06/12/2025 20:26

Well this certainly wasn’t what I expected from the thread title … 😳

😂 Me too

mydogisanidiott · 06/12/2025 20:33

What on earth does lifted and laid mean

bridgetreilly · 06/12/2025 20:32

Lifted and laid?

Obviously they should get the bus unless they have broken their leg or are carrying a double bass. If you happen to be going in the same direction, a lift is nice, but it shouldn’t be expected otherwise.