To ask daughter to move wardrobe out of son's room when he's only there one day a week

Is the daughter’s room generally big enough? Does she access the clothes on the rail when brother is there? Can the brother sit and read and chill in his room or genuinely is the clothes tail in the way?

presumably there used to be a wardrobe in there so can the sisters clothes not go in the brothers old wardrobe. Therefore not being in the way when he’s home. But also sister should move out anything she needs and not need to go in there when he’s home.

they’re both young and I think having a room at home to feel safe is important.

Can the clothes rail be screened off in some way as a compromise? 21 is quite young to be moved out with a fiancee, so I can see why he would want to feel like he still has his own space to fall back on. If the daughter's clothes can't all comfortably fit into standard bedroom furniture, this could be a problem when she finally does move out. Could she afford to rent/buy a house with an extra room just to store clothes in? I think the Mum should speak to her about downsizing her collection. She could vacuum storage out of season clothes to take up less space etc.

Daughter is being a bit entitled spilling over into wherever she likes, but otoh son really needs to 'shit or get off the proverbial pot' with regard to moving on to the next stage of life.

21 is no age at all, but now DH and I were living together at that age. I would've looked at him very oddly indeed if he was going home on his own to stay with his mum once a week (particularly if they haven't moved far). It doesn't suggest someone who's ready for marriage.

I think that at 24 the dd needs to figure out how to move out. That way she can fill as much spaces as she likes with clothes. Meantime she needs to downsize her collection so that it fits in her own room.

I think if they are both adults continuing to see their mother's home as their family home, they should each have equal rights to their space in the home. I don't see why the daughter should get to have rights over her room and the brother's. If the brother's room has more storage space and she is there full- time while he is only there once a week they should switch the rooms around. Or if not, figure out how to add extra storage to her room that doesn't inconvenience other family members. Or operate a 1 in 1 out policy on new clothes.

They are both preventing the mum use the space as a guest room, him by using it as "his" room once a week and her by filling it up with her things.

Does the son still store his clothes there if he is only there once a week or does he bring an overnight bag? Can the daughter not use his wardrobe space and leave him a shelf/few hangers without encroaching into the room?

Or vacuum pack out of season clothes and store them in a loft space?

Sharing spaces with people means compromising.

Sounds like your friend isn't taking the moving out thing very seriously. She's acting as though he still lives at home and just stays at his GFs a lot and/or its possibly a temporary thing and he'll move back. Which tbf, would be typical of his age group and is greatly reinforced by his own attitude.
Whether your friend feels this way for good reason, or due to failure to accept he's really moved out, who knows. Fact is, until its accepted he's gone for good that room is going to be seen as her sons and I doubt we, you or her DD are going to change that.
A rail on wheels that could be wheeled into DDs room might help.

21 and engaged? That's very young nowadays.

Yet he still "rules the roost" at his parental home?

He should grow up before getting married. He can't go around telling other people how to live their life.

pity his fiancee

He's still there one night a week. It's his room.

Did the daughter ask her brother if it was ok to use his room as her spillover storage?

I think the mum - who actually pays for the house - should have the final say.

If neither of them is paying rent, it seems a bit odd to say that she should have more right to her room than he does to his, just because he uses his room less than she does - and, it could be viewed, exploits their mum's hospitality much less, whereas his sister takes as much as she can get and still wants more.

Presumably he also uses a lot less electricity/heating, water, food etc. than she does, or does the DD pay for her share of the food and utilities but 'just' nothing towards actual rent?

Then again, his language and aggression are 100% disgraceful - if he's abusing and threatening his sister and trying to take the moral high ground because she's effectively grifting their mum more than him, even though he is very much grifting her too.

He’s moved out it’s not his room it’s a spare room in his mums house that she can do as she likes with. If she’s happy for her daughter who lives with her to store clothes there then that’s the end of that.

The son does not live there any more and should be told to pack it in.

His old room should become a guest room.
He is welcome to it when he stays over but it is not a shrine to him.

And he needs to apologise for being a twat before he's allowed to visit again.

The daughter needs to stop buying so much shite.

Can’t vote because I actually think both of these young adults are completely unreasonable. Daughter can’t expect to have storage for so much stuff that she can’t even fit it in her own room - she can move out and get her own place if she needs that much space. But son can’t expect to still consider it to be “his” room when he has moved in with a partner and isn’t there more than once a week.

Well if you're going to change the info...

She hasn't moved out and he has.

So it's still not his room anymore, it's the guest room.

She should be able to store her clothes in the guest room as long as he can sleep in it one night a week.

ETA: And who on earth are you to say 'she's too old to be living there'??

If your friend wants her son to keep coming round i suggest she tells the DD to move her clothes out, at least for that one day a week.
Although I would be asking the son to be more respectful.

He’s either moved out or he hasn’t. If he’s moved out, that’s not his bedroom anymore. Ridiculous for him to expect nothing will change in his ex room now he has moved out.

If the son has moved out and is not paying rent then he is being an entitled jerk.

He's moved in with his fiancée and no longer pays rent to his mum, unlike his sister.

It's not his room anymore even if he is quite rightly welcome to stay once a week.