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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think saying you look good for your age isn’t a compliment?

42 replies

Coloursyrue · 06/12/2025 18:34

Met up with an old friend and got told I looked incredible - for my age.

OP posts:
MintDog · 06/12/2025 22:59

I always take it as a compliment. I'm 51. I have always looked young, which wasn't a bonus when I was 25 and looked 13, but now, it's brilliant! I often get mistaken for mid 30's. My Mum is in her 70's and looks in her 50's.

I'd have no problem someone saying it to me!

00deed1988 · 06/12/2025 22:54

I have VERY curly hair. When I straighten it (maybe once every 3 months) I get told how amazing I look with straight hair. I actually find it quite offensive and I shouldn't. I know people are saying it as I look different and they know I have made the effort to do it but I always think I spend 98% of the year with curly hair, do you think how shit I look the rest of the time? I think it is hard, people don't think compliments through before they give them

PollyBell · 06/12/2025 22:50

Well people complain when people dont get compliments so people cant win

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 06/12/2025 22:44

It a bit backhanded but I take it as a compliment (maybe not if they significantly younger!)

Coconutter24 · 06/12/2025 22:44

Newyearawaits · 06/12/2025 18:45

Too many people go ott with looking young and it can make them look older.
YABU

This comment doesn’t even make sense

Marble10 · 06/12/2025 22:34

From a friend you’ve known a while and who has seen you grow through various life stages; yes it’s a compliment.

From a stranger who doesn’t know your age and is making presumptions; not quite so

Shitstix · 06/12/2025 22:17

I think it could be more of a compliment if the person knows your age. If you're in your 40s and they think you look late 20s. If they didn't know you and thought your actual age was mid-30s, but you look late 20s.

Did you comment on your friend's looks after they said that?

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 06/12/2025 22:13

A compliment is a compliment

WheresBillGrundyNow · 06/12/2025 22:12

Literally nobody other than my oh has told me I look good since I was pregnant nearly a decade ago. I wouldn’t mind getting that compliment to be honest.

TamarindCottage · 06/12/2025 19:20

Coloursyrue · 06/12/2025 18:34

Met up with an old friend and got told I looked incredible - for my age.

It is a grudging compliment I’d rather do without. I tell total strangers that they look fabulous when I think they do, and their ages are absolutely NOT a factor!

Original poster
Coloursyrue · 06/12/2025 19:15

Newyearawaits · 06/12/2025 18:45

Too many people go ott with looking young and it can make them look older.
YABU

I don’t see the correlation to my OP?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 06/12/2025 18:46

Well I think at some point it becomes a compliment rather than a backhanded one. In my 50’s I will take it, would have raised an eyebrow in my 40’s.

I have a friend in her late 60’s who looks incredible for her age, looks only a little bit younger but has amazing skin and bone structure so honestly you just think for her age (when frankly late 60’s is even harder to look ‘good’) is a massive compliment

In my mid 50’s I’m happy with it because honestly it is a bit harder to look good at this age, the glow of youth fucked off a long time ago and without a lot of skincare, exercise, facial exercise, it’s very easy to look pretty shit.

Newyearawaits · 06/12/2025 18:45

Too many people go ott with looking young and it can make them look older.
YABU

ShyMaryEllen · 06/12/2025 18:43

I think it's a bit rude, too. Why not just say 'you look great'? The caveat about your age isn't necessary.

Wellstonethecrows · 06/12/2025 18:42

I think it's meant as a compliment.
But I would class it as a backhanded compliment.

Itiswhysofew · 06/12/2025 18:41

Coming from someone you know of a similar age, isn't so bad.

LittleMonks11 · 06/12/2025 18:39

Dob’t go looking for something to complain about. Someone saying you look ‘incredible’ at any age is quite the compliment. Some people age terribly, some have good genes and look after themselves a bit more than others.