Would you tolerate DP spending £7k on World Cup trip?

This is absolutely mental and anyone who says otherwise is also mental 🤣. You don’t spend that kind of money - almost 20% of your annual income on a trip for yourself when you have a child and next to no savings. I would be livid and questioning my future with that person as it is absolutely not ok to do all of that without consulting you first. Just because you aren’t married, you live together with a child. I can’t believe anyone would defend him and as I say, I would question my future in this relationship. It’s utterly selfish.

Personally with a family I would say he is being absolutely selfish you could use that money for savings for the children or a family holiday. No single days should be behind you I suppose you should ask yourself would you as a mum go blowing 7K on a hobby even if you can afford it plus he's just off on his jolly for 2 weeks leaving you to deal with young children.

If I had the money. I would be going myself and taking my husband with me.

If he could affirm to spend 21 k on a family holiday on top I would . Other way I would throw him out

BTW you don't have joint savings goals, he's saving for the world cup, you're saving for your family life. He's told you his priorities.

My husband went pre-COVID when my 3rd was a baby. I am the main earner so technically I paid.
football is his passion.
he tried as best he could to stay in hostels etc

it was probably his only opportunity to go.

as long as he respects your needs and curtails his other spending either side of the WC then it seems fair.

DD2 won’t realise he is not at her bday

For me its the 10 days solo parenting without discussion that would concern me. The finance is up to him. However I would make it clear that I would also be having a 10 day holiday in the same year with the girls.

Not Scottish then?

Not if hes staying in Boston and it sounds like its Scotland he supports.

Last time Scotland qualified for the world cup was 28years ago

I'd happily encourage dh to go as long as we could still afford a family summer holiday.

His money his decision - I don’t bat an eye lid but my dh earns treble what I do so can spend it as he wishes.

for example he paid that much on a. New bike and didn’t consult me. There is no need to imho
if it resulted in impacting your budget I would be more concerned - like if he could only afford one trip this year etc

Tickets for Scotland Haiti are going to be £1k each, and that's if you want to take your chance on a potentially dodgy secondary market site over the official one.

I bet tipping if you aren't brave enough to not give a shit about this ridiculous system will likely add a bit to the bill.

I costed up a trip to Boston last Feb and five nights with BA flights, no breakfast at hotel (we book trips to the US as a package as it always works out cheaper and it's never included) was £2.5k. And this was when there were no school holidays or big events in the area. We ended up going to NYC for about half the cost.

Inflation has also gone bonkers in the US since Trump took office, there are tons of stories about how even fast food is too expensive for many people.

The flights at £580 are also likely to be the light fare without hand luggage or a checked bag included (another reason why we always book as a package).

The stadia he wants to get tickets for aren't very public transport accessible, so add on the cost of renting a car or Uber surge pricing.

I can entirely believe it'll come in at £7k.

But because so many people don't remember to read OP updates, it's very important not to leave out really salient information like the fact that he has no money or the very common childrens ages or he that he only has 1 year to live etc . So much gets lost in the sauce this way.

Blimey people really will not read the thread, will they? Not even the OP’s posts. Surely it’s a waste of time commenting if you haven’t done at least that? You might as well drop into a thread and tell us what your cat thinks of the situation.

I’d insist he get a second job.

As it is Scotland then yes, as it could be the only time in his lifetime. If it was England then no.

Lol tolerate is a little weird...you have separate finances do your own thing be happy then book yourself something lol

I voted YABU but it would depend on my financial situation.

If he can afford it without it impacting on family finances then I’d say it’s a once in a lifetime thing. I’d just be a bit jealous because I’d like to go too.

because they don't appear to have separate finances even though that is what the OP said. If you are in a relationship and have a child together then you do not just go off and book stuff without discussion....and least good sensible people don't. I get that the OP cannot stop him but she can make clear to him what the consequences of his choice are.

Agreed. If I really really wanted to do something like this if needed DH would be telling me we’d stick it on a cc ( within reason) so I could go. It isn’t like its a regular event. Many years ago I bought this gorgeous suit for a wedding, it was well over what we could afford as a young couple . I sheepishly tried it on and showed him , he didn’t say a word about the price but just how beautiful I looked. We’ve been married 35 years and memories like that make me smile.

He’s going for 10 days, not 7. And breakfast won’t necessarily be included especially if he’s staying downtown.

Just because he's put it on a credit card it doesn't mean he's going to be racking up interest. It's very easy to move debt from card to card switching to 0% deals.

It wouldn't be for me, I'm very much a save the money first kind of woman, but it can be done quite easily.

Their not married. They have separate finances. Why shouldn't he do it?

He's actually booked stuff on credit and THEN told you? So usual question from me. What exactly does this prince among men bring to the relationship?

It sounds like he can’t actually afford this without leaning on you to pick up the extra costs of him being unable to contribute as much as usual due to debt incurred by the trip. That’s a problem. I think he will need to draw up a spreadsheet so you can both see the long term impact.
The trip itself? I don’t think it is unreasonable that he wants to go, and it can’t be helped if it clashes with the birthday. You can just celebrate early before he leaves. But where is the reciprocity? When do you get to spend £7k on yourself and have 10 days child free? Get that worked into the spreadsheet too.