To tell friend how hurt I am...

Don't say anything for now. The good thing about communication by text is that it allows you time to compose a response.

@OnceMoreIntoTheBreachDearFriendsAre you paying the holiday for everyone and expecting them to all pay you back? I do this - but with a group of lifelong friends I trust implicitly, I would not do this otherwise. Please make sure you aren’t being taken advantage of, ask people for the balance of what you are owed and tell them payments to you need to be made in a advance of any debit on your card or it’s cancellation? X

Yeah, agreed. We've all been there. It isn't what she did but the way she went about it. X

Yeah, crap excuse, particularly as the arrangement was to make up for not showing up to the previous one.
She may like you well enough but she doesn't seem to respect you much. That might not be personal, she might be like that with everyone...but it's not a great way to treat anyone.
She could have let you know on the day but she cba and left you dangling. In a bad way, my arse. Unless she lost control of her fingers, it's utter rubbish.

I'd rather a text saying "I overdid it last night and I'm hugging the toilet, so sorry", than be avoided and ignored like I don't even factor at all.

Sorry I wouldn’t be relying on this person to pay their share of a holiday - don’t be paying her share in anticipation of getting paid back.
I would also find a new salon and let this friendship slide. She sounds rude.

Such flakiness would upset me too. It shows a level of self-involvement and lack of consideration that I would find problematic in a friend. If it is a constant theme in your friendship, I would let her take the lead on making plans, and see if she sticks to it.

Yeah OP you deserve better than that. A real friend wouldnt act like this. No point trying to force this woman to keep in touch all the time. It's a game you can't win. I'd move on if I were you.

Pathetic excuse. She is not a friend.

You sound caring and considerate, I'd dump her. Find someone else for those treatments.

She won't be paying any more for this group holiday so make the best arrangements now.

Ignore the posters calling you unhinged, what the hell?!

Shes been rude, flakey and clearly doesn't value your friendship.

She manages to run a business yet can't send one short message to you? Hmm.

I can't stand people that make plans then ghost you.

Just get it over and done with and remove her from the holiday. I wouldn't enjoy worrying about it over next few months. Shes a flake and you don't like her that much anyway. Sorry. 😟

No two ways about it, the 'friend' is a twat.

And a flake.

Hahaha. I’m with you OP. I would be disappointed with her behaviour as well.

I think people were being particularly harsh in their responses to you with the accusations that you have been too needy etc. it may well be that because she'd flaked in the past you were more alert to it potentially happening again this time. I have friends that I wouldn't need firm up arrangements until the very last minute because I I can rely on them I have a friend who's a bit flaky I think she thinks it's quirky personality trait whereas I just find it really annoying.

I think some people just like to argue with the OP or don't read the original post fully before giving their opinion . I wouldn't be surprised if her baby sitting story was bollocks . if you're the one that puts the effort into the friendship and she's not really giving much in return it's not much of a friendship to maintain.

"me.....needing plans to be as concrete as possible and not changed"

"She's often really flaky with plans full stop (not just with me)"

You're not at all suited to each other. I'm surprised you made it this far as friends.

So you sound like casual mates. Her flaking on your bday sounds like arrangements going wrong plus she has form for this it’s not personal.

you deciding several hours in advance that a night out must be cancelled because she didn’t get back to you is over the top. Some people are just more laid back than others. I’m autistic and I like to know and plan/prepare for things too but not everyone is like that. Again it’s not personal.

However leaving you hanging like that it crap and for that I would step back a bit from the friendship. I wouldn’t necessarily end it but I would put some barriers up.

Sorry for misreading about her not working today and this lady didn't reply. Your instincts were correct and many responses on here were harsh. It isn't unreasonable to confirm or ask if tonight's still on earlier in the day, especially given her history. You being ND is irrelevant to that. And this was meant to be an apology dinner. She clearly can't be bothered and tonight proved it.

I wouldn't reply to any of her messages and would find another salon.

Regarding the group event, I'd try and find somebody else as she can't be relied on. If she says anything, just reply I can't rely on you and you don't reply so I made other arrangements.

I hate flaky people.

Frig the cancelling just don’t show up. What goes around comes around! See how she likes it

Has she been paying you her share of the holiday money? If yes, don't take her off it, let her keep paying. If she turns up or flakes out that's on her.

I would go dark for now and wait to see what if anything she comes back with.

If she's got a history of being flakey, then she's already let you know that she's not that interested in being your friend. It sounds like you've got lots of lovely other friends, including a group who are all excited to go on a big holiday with you, so I'm not sure why you're putting as much thought into this as it seems. Why not just let go and relegated this one to the 'nice to see for coffee when I have time' pile?

When I read your op, I just knew she was going to flake on you. Regardless of what people say on here, in real life if you've an outing planned both parties confirm well before the time to check its still on. Her silence tells you everything you need to know. She's no " friend". As for last week's excuse of not pressing ' send' on a text, utter garbage. We're programmed to think the best of people and to expect them to treat us as we do them, because the reality is often harder to swallow, but don't fall for it moving forward. If something feels ' off' trust your gut - it's there for a reason.