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AIBU?

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Stepdaughter’s bedroom at Christmas

735 replies

Balletbabe · 06/12/2025 15:18

My 14 year old stepdaughter has an en-suite bedroom at our house which she uses maybe two or three nights a month.. This room is sacrosanct and DH won’t entertain conversations about it.

Essentially she will not allow my mother to use it over Christmas even if she isn’t here.

My sister is with her in-laws.

We either put my daughter in with our youngest two, or bring baby back in with us. Either of these solutions would potentially lead to sleep regression for both the younger kids. Or we travel for just under an hour to my mother’s, taking kids away from their presents and she will then feel the need to host us.

We still have no idea if stepdaughter is even going to be here.

All DH will say is he wouldn’t want anyone in his room either and he is willing to collect her after presents and she could get Uber back.

OP posts:
ProudPearl · 06/12/2025 15:28

Why don't you and your DH sleep on a blow up bed in the lounge and give your mother your room? Or DH on the sofa and you share with your mum? Why is it only your stepdaughter who can give up her room?

Balloonhearts · 06/12/2025 15:28

He's being ridiculous. Why should the child who is actually present give up their room for a guest rather than the child who isn't there? That's nuts. I'd happily let guests sleep in my room at my dad's when I wasn't there.

Twasasurprise · 06/12/2025 15:24

I'm with your DH. A teenagers room is their private space. It isn't a spare room.

It would be nice if she offered, but she didn't and it's not even for her own grandparent.

cupfinalchaos · 06/12/2025 15:24

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/12/2025 15:21

Who made him the boss? It’s presumably a house you both own. I’d tell him to stop thinking he and his daughter get to dictate this and inconvenience a handful of other people because she’s a princess and he’s a doormat. Fucking ridiculous.

Agreed. We have a spare en-suite room which used to be my ss room. Sd comes to stay regularly but anyone who stays can use the room.

Bootskates · 06/12/2025 15:23

Have you asked her specifically for this Christmas for your mum or just in a general way?

She may feel like you're deciding for her that she won't be with her dad over Christmas if you're already planning on putting guests in her room...

As an adult I see the logic but as a teen I would have felt very pushed out.

Indeedcorrect · 06/12/2025 15:22

Op your epic last thread about your step daughter ended up with 3/4 thinking you were unreasonable.

You have a problem with this teen girl.

why do you want to pour petrol over the situation?

Maray1967 · 06/12/2025 15:21

Move your younger ones - any impact on their sleep will be temporary.

Soontobe60 · 06/12/2025 15:21

What ages are all the children

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/12/2025 15:21

Who made him the boss? It’s presumably a house you both own. I’d tell him to stop thinking he and his daughter get to dictate this and inconvenience a handful of other people because she’s a princess and he’s a doormat. Fucking ridiculous.

Indeedcorrect · 06/12/2025 15:20

I am with your dh

how long will your mother be staying?